Fearless

All The Small Things

I squeaked excitedly as Liam hugged me once we left the room.

"I told you it would be okay!" He chuckled as I hugged him tighter. I was just so happy!! SHE WALKED!

I heard the door slam and turned to see Harry with tears in his eyes and I tried to grab his arm as he passed by me. "Hazza are you okay?...." I was cut off as he shoved me back away from him causing me to stumble backwards.

"Stay the hell away from me! This is your fault! If you hadn't brought Zack into the picture this wouldn't have happened! Why do you have to ruin everything?! It's your fault she's here in the first place!" He yelled and stormed out as tears formed in my eyes. I didn't blame him for yelling at me or even pushing me, his heart was broken and technically it was my fault. It was the guilt that was killing me now, he was right it was my fault.

Alex and Niall both moved to comfort me but before they could I walked away. The second I reached the exit I started running. I ran and ran, blinking back tears until I reached my house. My mom wasn't home but she didn't lock the door. I ran straight into the bathroom and locked the door, sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the floor with my back against it. The emotions and guilt were making my blood boil and my head pound. I hated myself, on a cellular level in that moment as I thought of every bad thing I had ever done or caused. It's all my fault.

I ran my hands through my hair as the tears streamed down my face. Looking over I saw just what I needed to make this pain go away; my razors. Grabbing one I turned on the shower and sat on the bottom of it, letting the warm water wash over me. Just a few cuts and I'll feel better. Just a few. I hissed at the sharp sting of the blade piercing my skin and then closed my eyes, the tension flowing with my blood from the gashes on my arms. I turned the water off after a while as I came off my high from the cuts. Regret washed over me and I felt weaker than usual. I looked at the damage I had made carefully: "Worthless" carved on my left forearm, the Blink 182 smiley on my right palm and 4 gashes on my right forearm. Fuck. That's the most I've done at one time. I stumbled out of the tub, tripping and hitting the floor hard. I stayed there and sighed, well I might just die from this. My vision started to blur slightly and I closed my eyes, humming All The Small Things by Blink 182 to calm my heart.

A few minutes later I heard Alex, Jack, Niall, and Rian's voices on the other side of the door panicking.

"Luna! Open the door Princess! Please!" Niall begged, turning the doorknob desperately. "It's locked!"

"Fuck! Luna, c'mon open the door! It's going to be ok!" Alex coaxed. I would open it gladly if I could even keep my eyes open.

"That's it! Come on Jack we need to break it down." Rian said, his voice calm but concerned.

"Break it down?! I am NOT Zach!!" Jack shouted. Alex and Niall both growled frustrated.

"JUST DO IT!"

Suddenly the door flew open, hitting the wall with a loud bang. I heard the guys all gasp at what was probably blood covering my bathroom before I blacked out.