Growing Up 101

Part 4

I have a secret not even Ummi knows.

I am a huge fan of K-Pop. I dare you say no. My favourite K-Pop band for the being would be Cool Kids. The group consists of 8 members and one of them, Chan was the most likeable. I biased him most of the time and I would never miss a single of his live broadcast on Mytube. He was one of the reasons why I am still standing alive on Earth.

I had problems. We all had problems we couldn't share with anyone. I read telling your problems to a stranger would make you feel better. That was totally what I did. Chan and I were strangers by name. He didn't know my real name and I didn't know him personally even if his profile had been known by anyone adoring him.

I never knew I would be noticed by just a comment in between millions of people watching his broadcast. It was just a normal evening, I was adoring him from the screen of my computer when Chan suddenly said, "it's true that we all have problems. If you do, you can share it with me. Hit me up, who knows I can be of help?"

I contemplated whether to leave a comment or not. Without conscience, my fingers moved on their own and as if I was charmed by his words, I wrote every one of my sufferings for him to read. It was not that I expected him to read it, there were millions of other lucky people watching him! I was like- the least person to be lucky for him to read my comment.

Suddenly, he surprised me when he read exactly what my comment was. I was so surprised, my jaw dropped to the floor.

I WASN'T READY FOR HIM TO ANSWER!

Eventually, he did. He didn't reply much but his words were enough to light fire in my heart.

"I get what you're going through Amber34, just don't rush to solve every problem and stress about it. All you need to do is plan it slowly and take one thing a time. Don't escape from your worries, but handle them through and you can do this. I have faith in you."

My heart broke into pieces. His words were so sweet that I melted from my seat. Wait that's probably too much. Still, he cared about me.
Even Ummi and Abah wouldn't give those kind of advices. Thank you, Chan! You are my saviour.

The feeling at that time was so satisfying. Having him as my daily dose vitamin every night before going to school was enough for me to motivate myself to do some homework. If I'm honest enough, I like to procrastinate a lot. I never send my homework late though!

Before I dozed off, I spent exactly 13 minutes to watch a video of him doing ASMR on MyTube.

The next morning, being conscious of myself, I spread some jam on a white bread while turning a blind eye on the fried noodles served by Ummi. Why you ask? Who knows what Azalea might come up with to tease me again about my diet.

"Amber? Are you not having noodles?" Ummi turned towards me when she saw me eating bread and jam. It wasn't my style of breakfast but I didn't want to humiliate myself among those rich people who eat English style breakfast every morning. Azalea might call me out again. Bacon and eggs? They're not my cup of tea if I were to tell you.

I quickly shook my head, munching onto the sandwich.

"You're so lame, sister. Would you even get full by eating just that? Where did the big eater Kak Amber went to?"

This Ayra kid. Should I stuff her mouth with the noodles to silence her?

"I'm not in the mood!"

"But you love fried noodles, Amber." Not that sad tone, Ummi. Whatever, I will not eat it!

I scoffed and shuddered.

"No need to pick me up this afternoon. I'll head straight to the library." I said that because I was only feeling a bit under the weather. My menstrual cycle was still ongoing and I wanted to sleep all day. The worst part was I didn't know to who should I tell my problems. If I tell Ummi, she might mock me or tell me that those kind of stuff weren't a big deal to her. I knew she couldn't be of any help.

Ummi's forehead wrinkled when she heard my words. You heard me loud and clear, Ummi.

"Alright honey, make sure to have lunch before studying!" I heard her before leaving the house.

"Amber! Have you heard?" Ikha ran to me as soon as she saw me. "About what?"

"Your name is listed on the Speaker's Corner list. You'll get to talk in front of a lot of people!"

My jaw dropped. Why would my name be listed? I never asked anyone to nominate me as a speaker. I hate talking in front of a huge crowd, I can't do that!