❛ostensible❜ ─── [kth]

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the office room, where i was working, was served with warmth and tenderness of the sun, which was up in the sky, scattering its rays over the world, but, inside my heart and soul, it was entirely cold and numb because of the boy, who sat in front of me.

he wasn't the someone i fancied, he wasn't the one i fell in love with, he wasn't my sweetheart, but he still gave me those feelings that i no longer achieve from my boyfriend.

these feelings would never be good or pleasant to anyone. i didn't feel good anymore. the person in front of me now was someone, who makes me feel special, but i already had a boyfriend.

what kind of sin is this? What am i up to?

i shook my head slightly to get myself up from all these thoughts and tried to concentrate on my work but in no time, it was sabotaged by that boy.

"hayoon-shhi! Would you like to go out with me tonight? " asked the man, with a pretty and fresh smile on his face.

i tried to shook my head as 'no' but instead, it bobbed up and down as an agreement. no matter how much i tried, in the last, i gave in.

"yes, mr kim! " i replied, feeling a little delighted and excited but at the same time, i was feeling tragic. who wouldn't be?

how can i be this cruel? why can't i let out a 'no' to him? i've a boyfriend. do i not love him anymore? did i fall out of love?!