Found by sin - Bokuaka

Chapter 21

White lights.

Distant muffled sounds.

Cold air.

Disorientation.

Akaashi blinked and squinted his eyes as he tried to adjust them to that blinding white light.

He didn't remember what happened or where he was. His mind was blank, almost like when you wake up from a dream and you can't remember it.

But his heart was beating incredibly fast, and with a strength that stunned him.

It was painful.

He felt pain.

He was feeling.

A wave of shock ran though his body as he realised that.

He was actually feeling. His heart was beating. He felt cold. His chest was aching like never before, and he felt his eyes wet with tears.

"Bokuto", he thought.

Suddenly, all of his memories came back to him, and his heart skipped a beat as he remembered what had just happened. He'd begun fading away, and Bokuto screamed his name desperately.

His eyes opened wide as he tried to sit, but realised his body didn't respond. He could barely move his fingers and toes. His body felt numb and sore, unable to even turn his head to look around.

He felt completely disoriented.

Then, he realised a bunch of alarm sounds coming from machines near him, and heard footsteps entering the room quickly.

"Sir? Sir, please stay calm. Try to normalise your breathing", a woman said nervously. "I need you to calm down so we can talk".

Akaashi realised he was practically panting, and he tried to regularise his breathing. He just mildly succeeded as he felt panic take over him, since he still couldn't move and didn't know where he was, or what happened with Bokuto.

"Sir, can you tell me your name?".

Akaashi tried to speak, but could barely open his mouth, and only a hoarse whisper came out of his throat. He panicked even more at the lack of control of his body.

"Sir, do you remember your name?", the woman said as she came near him to hear him.

He tried to speak once again, and this time, that whisper was a little more audible.

"A… Kaashi… K-keiji", said with difficulty.

All his body felt exhausted, as if he was running a marathon instead of being on a bed.

"Do you know what day it is today?".

Akaashi tried to remember, but everything felt confusing. He knew what year it was and was about to tell her, but then a flash of rationality stopped him. It has been two years since he thought he died, and all that time he was conscious, but this meant he was actually in a coma, so no one could know he was conscious, otherwise, they'd think he'd gone crazy.

He barely shook his head to let her know he didn't remember. And he was actually quite impressed to have thought about that, since he still felt a paralyzing wave of panic.

"Do you know where you are?".

He shook his head again in response.

"Mister Akaashi, you're in a hospital. We're nurses and we'll take care of you. Sir... You've been in a coma for two years. It's normal if you feel disorientated or…".

Akaashi couldn't hear her anymore as a loud, acute noise invaded his ear. And then, his eyes began to close on their own, feeling an overwhelming tiredness all of a sudden.

The nurses looked at each other in disbelief. That man had been in a coma for little more than two years, and had a bad prognosis.

"It's a miracle", said one of them.

"We have to wait", the other answered. "We need to do some tests to see the extensions of the sequels when he wakes up again. Cases like this don't often recover. We have to be realistic".

---

Akaashi woke up nearly an entire day after that, still not being able to move more than just his finger tips.

This time, more people were in his room, and everyone looked shocked to see him opening his eyes again. Then, a woman that seemed to be a doctor got them out of the room so they could talk alone.

Akaashi felt all of that information like a haze, like it wasn't real. The doctor explained to him about his current state, that he'd had several broken bones and a severe wound on his head that put him in a coma.

"You were almost dead when you arrived at the hospital, and through these years, you've had several respiratory failures. We even had to intubate you for a couple of months. So the fact that you're awake right now… Is absolutely extraordinary".

Then, she explained to him that it was normal for his body to feel numb or hard to move. They had to do some tests to acknowledge the extent of the sequels.

Akaashi wanted to ask if he could ever move again or if he had some kind of irreversible damage, but a tightness in his chest kept him from asking.

The doctor might have read the look in his eyes, because she explained that recovery in these cases wasn't achieved often, that it took several months or even years to gain functionality again, and it took a lot of training and work, but that he'll always have people around every time he needed something.

Akaashi could understand and process all of that, but it surprised him how tired he was, even though he'd just woken up from apparently a twenty hour nap.

When the doctor noticed he was getting distracted, she left and let him rest.

Alone in his room, he desperately tried to move but couldn't. And again, he was overwhelmed by panic and frustration.

"What if I can't move again? What if I'd ended up quadriplegic?".

He tried to reason with himself. It's been two years. Of course he wouldn't be able to move normally, and of course it will take time to regain functionality again.

But he couldn't help crying in despair.

He was afraid. And alone.

Then, he thought of Bokuto, and remembering him calmed him.

But suddenly, a paralyzing, horrible thought crossed his mind.

"What if it was all a dream?".

His breathing stopped.

"No, all of that was too complex for a dream… Right? I mean, I've never been to those places and I remember their names… I remember what year we're in, I wouldn't be able to know that if I wasn't conscious… Right? But… What if it was? What if Bokuto isn't real?".

That thought made him want to throw up. He felt dizzy, and an acute pain in his heart stopped his breathing once again.

He tried to calm himself down, but the more he thought of that, the more he realised that, thinking of it rationally, it was a possibility. The worst one, but it was factible.

Then, his anxious mind tortured him once again.

"What if all of that was real, but Bokuto couldn't remember me? What if he'd somehow forgotten me when I stopped being a spirit?".

He couldn't decide which alternative was more terrifying.

Once again, all that sadness made him extremely tired, so he ended up sleeping again.

--- To be continued.