Found by sin - Bokuaka

Chapter 15

After that day, they were back to their usual routine of reading and playing cards. Akaashi tried several times to teach Bokuto how to make simple dishes, but Bokuto always managed to burn something or forget about cooking time, so the result wasn't good, according to him.

"Could you please make that stew just one more time? Please!", Bokuto begged after a few days of failing in the kitchen.

Bokuto's puppy eyes were very effective, to Akaashi's surprise.

After a few minutes, Akaashi came up with an enormous dish, making Bokuto's face light up in a big grin.

"Yep! Your cooking is the best!", claimed after he took a bite.

Akaashi chuckled. "Thank you".

After washing the dish, Bokuto went back to the living room, sitting next to Akaashi to read too.

"Akaashi…", Bokuto began, making Akaashi look up from his book. "I… wanted to thank you. You didn't have to stay and take care of me, and I'm really grateful for that. I'd definitely still be in bed if it wasn't for you, so, thank you", said as he smiled tenderly.

Akaashi didn't break eye contact.

"What did you do when you got sick like that in the past? Were you all on your own?".

"Well, I didn't want to bother anyone, so I just stayed here… But luckily, I don't get sick very often!".

Akaashi looked at him with a sad expression, and Bokuto noticed, his face turning gloomy.

"I guess if you think of it like that, it seems very lonely… I do feel alone once in a while, you know, by seeing people with their families and friends… But lately I don't feel that way… Thanks to you", said as he looked back to Akaashi's eyes.

The latter looked at his warm golden eyes.

"So… Thank you. Really", Bokuto finished.

They looked at each other's eyes intensely, both noticing a certain tension building up.

Akaashi meant to thank him, to tell him that he was the only one who really listened and believed him, the only one that was willing to help him, and that meant a lot to him. But words didn't seem to do justice to Akaashi's thoughts at that moment.

They couldn't help but get closer to each other, feeling a strong attraction that made them lost in their eyes.

Finally, they closed the space between them in a kiss that felt different from the others. Both noticed immediately. It was more intense, like it was something both needed with despair and impatience.

Guided by that new and overwhelming feeling, both headed to the bedroom, still kissing and pulling each other closer. They took off their shirts as they got on the bed, Akaashi beginning to straddle the taller man.

But Bokuto felt unsatisfied. It wasn't enough. Every inch of his body wanted to feel him, hold him tighter, and just look at his eyes as closely as possible.

Passionately, Bokuto grabbed Akaashi's nape and deepened the kiss. Then, he began to push Akaashi down until he laid on the bed.

The latter didn't expect that. Feeling Bokuto on top of him, transmitting pure passion through his caresses, suddenly made his chest tighter. If he was alive, it would've felt like his heart skipped a beat.

After kissing passionately, Bokuto looked straight into Akaashi's eyes with such an intensity that shocked him, and even his breathing, something that he made by pure habit, stopped.

He felt his chest compressing as he identified that feeling. A feeling that he never thought of experiencing again. A feeling that reminded him of the worst day of his life, and yet, the best ones. He was shocked by that feeling that filled his head with memories, and wasn't able to move.

Bokuto caressed Akaashi's face and leaned over to kiss his jaw line, making his way to his neck. He felt something different that time. It was almost as if being close to him was something vital, like a need.

But suddenly, Bokuto felt something wet in his hand, as he caressed Akaashi's face. He leaned back to see what that was.

"Akaashi! Are you ok?", he claimed, worried.

That question took Akaashi by surprise. "Yeah, why?".

"You're… You're crying".

Akaashi widened his eyes in surprise, immediately rubbing them to see tears accumulating, rolling down his face without him even realising.

"I'm-", said as he sat, still rubbing his eyes. "It's nothing".

"What- Did I- Did I do something wrong?".

"No, it's nothing, just give me a second", Akaashi said as he sat on the side of the bed, trying to hide his face from Bokuto. What was that? Why was he crying like that? Why all of a sudden he remembered that day?

"Are you sure? If I did something wrong, I'm sorry, just tell me wha-".

"I said it's nothing, Bokuto", Akaashi interrupted with a serious tone, harshly turning around to face the grey-haired man, feeling mad all of a sudden by Bokuto's insistence. He just wanted to get away and be alone. "And even if it was, why do you want to know? Why do you even care?".

Bokuto was shocked from Akaashi's defensive attitude.

"Well, I… I just-".

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm dead, for God's sake. I'm a ghost. And besides, it's not like we have to tell each other everything. We just have sex and that's it, so mind your own problems", said as he looked away from Bokuto.

Those words made Bokuto's chest compress.

"Wh- So the fact that we have sex means that I can't worry about you?".

"Yes, exactly!", Akaashi said firmly, looking directly into Bokuto's eyes.

They looked at each other for a while, Bokuto completely in shock, and Akaashi's frown getting deeper as new tears began to appear in his eyes.

Akaashi's voice was somber.

"Whatever the hell happens to me… It's none of your damn business".

Bokuto was dumbfounded. He couldn't answer. He couldn't move. He just looked at Akaashi's face, noticing anger, frustration, but mostly, sadness in it.

He was about to apologise when Akaashi got up and disappeared. He didn't understand. What had just happened? Why did his chest hurt so much?

Meanwhile, Akaashi got to a roof top and just burst into tears, immediately regretting his attitude towards Bokuto. His head was filled with the darkest memories of his life. But also, memories of that feeling he felt a while ago. A feeling that he didn't know he missed that much, until now.

"Why now? Why after all this time? Why can't I just forget?", Akaashi thought as tears streamed down his face uncontrollably, and despair took the best of him.

Bokuto's expression back then shocked him. It was similar to the expression that person made. It brought to his mind memories he desperately tried to forget. Memories that haunted him for months, every second of every day since he was no longer alive.

Memories of his former lover.

And the way he died.

--- To be continued.