SNOW

PROLOGUE

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yearning awake a sinful dream,

For flowers no longer remained sun kissed;

Wishing upon a star yet and knowing-

The azure was but an abyss."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something is suffocating me. 

I want to, I want to breathe. Dreadful, its dreadful, it's scary, its Terrifying.

'No, its not, you have experienced it before'

 I am trying to calm myself down. 'Slow breaths.' Yeah, yeah, I've faced this before many times. 

I can't feel myself move. Any attempt at movement feels like pushing against a wall. I've never been the one for strength. 

But that I need to move. That's all I desire right now. I do not care what time it is, or how much I've only been able to sleep. I need to move

Arm. I can push my arm! A hope sparked in me and being the fool that I am, I believed it. I can reach out and grab my beddings and possibly jerk myself awake. Reaching out an arm can't possibly be that difficult right?

Why?

I can't even tremble, let alone reach out an arm.

I cannot hear. There is no sound. None from me, none from things other than me or around me. I can attempt to scream, wail, even just a small squeak would have done but no- NO!

Nothing rips out of my throat at all? 

Nothing. But somewhere I'm still intent on making a shrill and even squeaks but all that filled the space was this piercing silence. 

The walls are running for their lives, the ground is falling apart, my sheets are wailing, my head is screaming for me to run and there's nothing that I can do. My voice has somehow disappeared in all of this. My conscience has given up and fled away.

I need to feel. Where was I when I went to sleep? 'I was in bed.' 

'Then there must be a pillow. Yes, there must be a pillow. I don't move much in my sleep so there's no way I'd have knocked it over. I keep my pillow close to me.' I blabbered on in my head, as if it would help, even when I know so much better. I just need to reach out a bit... Just a tiny movement.

A movement. Just a tiny movement. Something. Some sort of movement at least?

No, nothing makes me feel. I'm reaching out my arms, I'm thrashing my feet around and about, I'm changing my position, I'm breathing but I'm not. 

And how long has it been? But more importantly, how much longer!?

One thought, only one thought, sizzles like camp-fire on a windy day in my head. Almost dying, giving up, and yet continuing to burn.

'I must wake up.'

Move hands! Elbow? Palm? Even a twitch of a finger would do. My face- I gasped, or so I thought. And all muscle to ever dwell in my body must have screamed at me for moving yet I felt as if I didn't move but I felt movement. 

But I know better than this- the reality is that I haven't moved an inch. 

All life seems to have been sucked out of me for even so much as only breathing. And for god's sake, I can't breathe. 'Patience.'