SNOW

CHAPTER I

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"Feathers and fur, ghosted all alike,

Oblivion- a dead remorse of white;

A plangent cry in the void,

Life a lamenting nowheresville."

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I should have known better than to have slept. 

Now I can't feel myself. I need to get up.

Surely I couldn't forget it sleep paralysis doesn't happen just once, could I?

I need to get up before it gets worse. But its already terrible enough to make moving my index finger seem like pushing a boulder.

I need to move. My body doesn't heed my commands. Someone surely needs to learn basic etiquette.

'You do know that TRYING to flail around wont solve this. Right?' 

As I try to push myself up I feel my breath now starting to waver. 'Think. You need to think and clam down for god's sake.' 

I can't feel my arms again, neither call out for help. How could I? I'm paralyzed in sleep.

Someone turn me over... I would have grunted if I could move but I just give up. The idea sounds all too terrifying.

I can't give up, even after all these painstaking and tiring 'attempts' of moving, I am still scared of this, even after two years I still just can't get used to this.

NO-

Surely god didn't have a reason to send something of this sort down the world except to make humans suffer.

I try to jerk my body awake- my body that's floating in a timeless space. No use. Legs? They can move, just a bit just- please move I - 'breathe hey.' 

I gasp in horror, TRY, to gasp in horror. I feel the sheets, I can see- but I can't open my eyes but I can see!? 'Its just your imagination? You need to breathe first' and I do not know if I obliged in the high of panic. I can see but I can't see, what the hell...

The room is floating. I am floating. There are only inaudible sounds of small squeaks. Sounds of small squeaks

Sounds.

I heard a sound- The very sound that tore through my lips. I can move, I can actually move. That is enough to assure me, not really believe but its better than feeling like the end of myself.

Trying to jerk awake- 'Its gonna take a while, it just happened last night' -is still of no use. Futile. I can hear my breath, but that is all. Nothing feels.

I only seem patient and peacefully asleep.

I'm furious if I were to tell you- and oh-

One hefty jerk, I hear, I feel, evened out breaths. My breathing is even. The pillow is in front of me. It took me a moment but, but I'm awake. I'm up and awake. 

Oh, oh god.

I maneuver myself over my pillow, hands still trembling, body still trembling. I stay there for a while, eyes heavy, head heavy, heart heavy, my whole body is heavier than what I can hold-