Hello, Co-Captain (Hello, #2)

95

The thing about chances was that they would not wait for you. Either you take them, or you regret not taking them.

Hindi naman na bago kay Benjamin ang mawalan ng chance at alam niyang kasalanan niya rin iyon. Kapag kasi nagkakagusto siya sa isang tao, madalas ay dinadaan niya lang sa biro. Katulad na lamang ng nangyari noong college.

Nagkagusto siya sa isang blockmate nila. Andrea told him that Valerie, his crush, might have feelings for him, too. Madalas naman din kasi silang magkita dahil classmates sila sa isang major subject.

Kaya naman nagsimula na rin siyang kausapin ito. Fortunately, Valerie was approachable. She had a bright personality so it was easy talking to her. Masaya rin siya kapag lagi niya itong napapatawa. They got closer, even became friends, but he was afraid to ask her out.

"Alam mo, sinayang mo lang 'yung chance mo," sabi ni Andrea matapos ang block meeting nila. "Mukha namang may gusto rin sa 'yo si Valerie, eh!"

"Paano mo naman nasabi 'yan? Paano kung wala naman?"

Andrea almost rolled her eyes. "Bakit, magco-confess ka lang ba kapag sure siya sa feelings niya for you?"

He could not answer her question. At the back of his mind, he knew he didn't have the courage to take that one extra step to pursue her . . . because he did not want to lose what they have now.

Paano kung wala naman pala itong gusto sa kanya at hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ang maibibigay nito? What if they became awkward after that?

He let out a sigh. "Mahirap din naman kasi magsabi. Ang daming mababago."

"Of course, it's hard," komento nito. "But why not take the risk? Malay mo better change naman ang mangyari. Ikaw rin. Baka 'pag pinatagal mo pa 'yan, magsisi ka."

And that was what exactly happened.

He convinced himself that he was contented with what was between them that he did not dare tell her his true feelings for months. Kaya naman noong may nag-confess kay Valerie ay wala na siyang nagawa, lalo pa't mukhang masaya ito.

Her smiles were different when she was with the other guy. And he knew it was his fault for letting the chance pass by. If only he was brave enough to take the risk, maybe things would be different now.

"Ayan, sinasabi ko na sa 'yo, eh," litanya ni Andrea matapos ang isa nilang klase. "Nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. Brokenhearted ka tuloy."

They were still friends, but it was hard to look at her now. Akala niya ay walang mababago kung hindi siya magco-confess, pero ganoon din pala ang mangyayari sa huli. Unti-unti na rin silang nagkakalayuan ng loob dahil sa magkaibang schedules at sa boyfriend nito.

That was when he learned that sometimes, there would be no second chances. Sometimes, things and relationships just end.

Ganoon din ang nangyari noong nagkagusto ulit siya noong fourth year college. Laging dinadaan sa biro. Laging nagpapatawa. Hanggang sa may magustuhan na namang iba ang gusto niya.

Kaya naman noong naging ka-trabaho niya pa rin si Andrea sa lab ay iyon ang lagi nitong panlaban sa asaran.

"Hoy, at least ako kaya kong mag-confess sa crush ko, 'no," she retorted while chugging a glass of alcohol. "Wala 'yan sa gender! Kung torpe ka, torpe ka!"

"Who?" John, their new labmate, innocently asked. He was just eating fries. Nahatak lang nila ito sa inuman dahil hindi nila sinabi kung saan pupunta. "Si Benjamin?"

"Hindi ako!" depensa nito at tumingin kay Bryle.

"O, puta, bakit sa akin ka nakatingin? 'Di ako duwag!"