Smoke And Ashes

Chapter 45~ Lost Boy

1  Month  After  Incident...

"Morning Niall." Louis says, descending down the stairs. Niall nods but doesn't say anything.

"Have you eaten?" He asks, attempting to make small talk. Niall, however, doesn't want to make small talk.

Harry comes from down the stairs. He hears the whole, short conversation.

"Are you seriously still not talking, mate?" Harry says going into the kitchen and grabbing an apple. Niall doesn't say anything. He keeps his head down despite all of the things he wants to say aloud.

Niall hasn't talked since the incident. Everyone has they're own reason for why Niall's not talking. And they all revolve around one thing.

Jessica.

But that's not the only thing. He's severely hurt by the fact that he doesn't have that one girl best friend. His partner in crime. The Bonnie to his Clyde. He doesn't have that anymore. He's missing a big part of him that will never return.

Since nobody heard Jessica's protests, no one should hear his.

That's how he feels.

Harry is just as hurt as Niall. Maybe even more. He should feel that way though. He was basically responsible for his sister's death. And he's reminded of it everyday he wakes up. Everytime a fan says 'Sorry for your loss.' Its a constant nagging everywhere in his mind that won't go away.

No matter what he does.

1 Year After Incident ...

"The tour is officially over! What shall we do?" Louis says happily.

"I think we should all go back home. Visit our families for a few months or so. Then meet up somewhere and have a vacation. After all, we have a whole year and a half." Zayn says. 

"That sounds like a great idea." Harry includes. 

"Niall what do you think?" Liam asks. Everyone is quit for a few seconds staring at Niall. He still hasn't talked to any of them. The only time they hear his voice is during a concert. He acts just as cheery as all of them. But as soon as he leaves the stage, his facade fades and he's back to not talking or showing any emotion. 

He just hates that everyone is moving on and becoming happy and slowly letting go of Jessica. But he can't do that. He doesn't know how to move on. As much as he has tried to in the past, amost every waking moment is spent thinking about Jessica. Wondering what outfit she would wear today. Tomorrow. During winter or the summer. Wondering if she would start to not like the food that used to be her favorite. Wondering what color she would dye her hair next, or if she would cut it. Wondering if she would get any tattoos. Wondering if they would have ever been together.

After it is clear that Niall isn't going to say anything, Harry shakes his head and laughs quietly to himself.

"I think that sounds like a fantastic idea. Liam. Lets all go home and forget about everything that happened 2 years ago. Forget about Jessica. You guys are all so good at it. Please enlighten me on how that's done. Because no matter how hard I try I can't get rid of Jessica. She's still in my mind and you guys act like nothing happened. I don't know how to do that." Niall says storming out of the tour bus. He doesn't come back but informs him that he's already on the first flight home. 

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"Yesterday we finished the tour." Niall says quietly, sitting down in front of the grave he always comes to whenever things get bad.

"I broke my no talking rule. I don't really care about it now. I'm surprised I went this long. I used to be so cheery. So happy." He says looking around. "You know, sometimes I think that your watching me from a tree or something. Other times, I think that your sitting right next to me. Telling me that everything is going to be okay. I have to think that because if I don't then I'll finally accept the fact that your gone and then that means that I'll move on. Everyone else is moving on. They all have girlfriends. They're going to parties. They're all having fun. I'm the only one who hasn't accepted it." He says wiping a tear quickly before moving on.