the cut that always bleeds

acting on it

June 14th
Alberto turned on the string lights that hunt around the hideout. His eyes traced the floor, making sure he hadn't forgotten blankets and pillows. He placed a hand on his chin as he double checked the pillows, the pile of books to show Luca, the various drawings he had created throughout the year.
He grinned at the wide variety of things he had culminated, making himself comfortable on one of the pillows.  Luca was going to spend the night, and it was finally Alberto's time to show off all of the things he had discovered while Luca was away, all of the skills he had developed. Luca had been so busy helping his parents below the surface that he hardly had any time to actually see Alberto, and when he did Giulia was always there. Alberto didn't mind Giulia, especially considering that she was technically his sister now. But Alberto wanted a moment ALONE with Luca, the energy between them felt different. Ever since Alberto had opened up to Luca, their dynamic had seemed to shift. He often caught Luca watching him out of the corner of his eye, or Luca would keep a small amount of space between them, and it hurt. It seemed as though Luca was afraid of him.
'I never should've told him.'
Alberto hit his head gently.
"Shut up, Bruno."
"Bruno bothering you?"
Alberto swung his body around to see Luca reaching the top of the ladder that led up to the hideout.
"Luca!" Alberto crawled over, helping Luca pull himself up.
Luca took a look around the hideout, making his way over to the drawings and books, taking a couple in his hands.
"Beto, did you make these?"
Alberto made his way over next to Luca, grinning.
"Why yes, yes I did. Here, look," Alberto pointed to one, where scribbled versions of him and Luca were jumping out of the ocean.
"This one's me, and this one's you! I've had a lot of practice, and I think I've finally started to get your look down."
Luca laughed, covering his mouth with a hand.
"My look?"
Alberto nodded, his finger moving to the sketched version of Luca on the page.
"See? I was able to make your hair curly, I think I got your proportions right, took me a while." Alberto chuckled. "and I was finally able to get your eye shape right," Alebrto turned to look at Luca, who was watching Alberto intently. His mouth agape.
Alberto swallowed hard.
"What do you think?"
Luca blinked a couple of times before looking back at the page. For a moment Alberto could've sworn he saw Luca's face flush a faint shade of pink.
"I love it, Alberto."
Alberto felt his familiar nauseous feeling begin to make an unfriendly appearance.
"You can have it, if you want. I draw plenty, I can always make another one."
"Really? You'd let me?"
"Sure! And if you have any requests," He nudged Luca slightly with his elbow. "Lemme know, I can draw anything you want."
Luca's eyes shimmered, and Alberto felt his breath hitch in his throat. The sun had vanished beneath the shoreline, and Alberto had only now realized just how cold it had gotten. With one motion, he grabbed ahold of one of the blankets he had laying, and wrapped it around himself.
"Here, I grabbed multiple for a reason." Alberto grabbed another, and attempted to hand it to Luca.
"Oh no, it's okay, I'm not cold yet."
Alberto nodded, placing the blanket back down. Again, the tension seemed to rise. Luca's eyes seemed to look everywhere, except at Alberto. It felt suffocating, and the last thing Alberto wanted was to push Luca away, not now. Not ever. Not again.
"Luca, can we talk? About what I told you?"
Luca finally made an effort to actually look at Alberto again.
"Yeah."
Alberto pulled the blanket around him tighter, and attempted to scooch a little closer to Luca.
"Listen, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm beginning to think that I should've waited to tell you. I understand if it changed the way you look at me, and if you want a little space to recollect your thoughts I get it."

Luca shook his head quickly, scooching even closer to Alberto.
"No, no, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I guess I just didn't expect it.
Alberto let out an exhale.
"Thank God, I didn't want to chase you away. Luca, you know how much you mean to me. You're my best friend."
Luca nodded, quietly taking Alberto's hands into his own.
"And you're mine. But I have so many questions. About how you figured it all out, I mean, did you just know? The second you did stuff with boys? It just doesn't make sense..."
Alberto smiled slightly.
"I know, it sounds a little funny, huh?"
Luca shook his head again.
"You just...kissed him? Sorry, it's just been bothering me."
Alberto laughed slightly.
"Don't apologize, I understand. It's a little confusing, but I'm totally okay answering questions, Luca. I'm an open book. But...uh yeah." He chuckled. "Just went in for it. My whole world changed after that."
Luca stared at the ground, his hands shifting in Alberto's.

"Your whole world?"

Alberto's eyebrows furrowed, seeing the change on Luca's face.
"Um...yeah. I've been much happier now, I know who I am."
Alberto swallowed, and leaned down slightly, meeting Luca's eyes.
"Hey, are you okay? We don't have to talk about this-"

Luca grabbed onto the blanket that Alberto had wrapped around himself, and before Alberto could say a word his lips were met with Luca's. Alberto's eyes were wide, watching as Luca had his eyes squeezed shut, his knuckles white while grasping onto the blanket.
After a moment, Alberto backed up, his mind racing, and his skin on fire.
"Luca-"
Luca looked down at his hands, and then back at Alberto. The lights around the hideout reflected in his eyes, and Alberto couldn't breathe.
"I...didn't see that coming."
Luca didn't break eye contact with Alberto, his mouth slightly agape.
"So that's what...you meant."
Alberto bit on the inside of his cheek. Leaning slightly back on his hands.
"I'm sorry?"
Luca took in a sharp inhale.

"Can I do that again?"
Alberto sat still, completely stunned. He felt numb, the cold had disappeared, and suddenly there was nothing but him and Luca.
The moment that Alberto had nodded, Luca rushed over.
Luca fumbled with his hands, holding them out in front of him.
"I don't...know what to do with these."
Alberto grabbed ahold of them, and pulled them up to his face. He felt his heart practically jump out of his chest as Luca moved one of his thumbs against his face.
"Is that okay?"
Luca nodded, and fumbled just slightly as he tried to close the space between them again. Alberto shifted downwards slightly, allowing Luca to lean over him just barely.
Alberto couldn't seem to catch his breath as he carefully watched Luca's eyes. There was a pain in his throat that he couldn't quite pin as he saw the pleading in the lights reflecting in the eyes he had grown to love.
Love?
Alberto felt his stomach drop as Luca's lips gently made contact with his own again. He was greeted with small pecks, watching as Luca kept pulling back. Each peck grew increasingly longer, and longer. Until there were no breaks in between them anymore, and pecks became pressure against each other's lips. Pressure became open mouths.
With every word that Luca slipped out, Alberto felt his stomach drop just a bit more. With every mumble of his name, every 'I missed you', his voice sounded different.
Alberto embraced it with open arms, and allowed the sinking feeling in his stomach to completely overtake him.

It was only when Luca was completely asleep on his chest that he became conscious of the feeling once more. He rested a hand over Luca's head, and slowed his breathing down.

Nobody had ever kissed him like that.

Nobody had ever said his name like that.