Faded Embers

23

Sean's POV:

"Thanks, Sean," Atlas says with a forced grin, taking one of the boxes from me as I help him pack the moving van.

He'll be flying to California while all of his stuff will be driven in a moving van. We've been packing the van for the past hour with Calin and Miles' help, but very few words were passed between the four of us, even less so between myself and Atlas.

It's been a sad month for us; Atlas wasn't supposed to leave for another month, but he needs to get stuff to his apartment anyway and I can't find it in me to hold him back. He's going to be happy there... even if I'm not in the picture.

"Sean, you can always go with Atlas and take a couple of weeks off," Miles offers quietly as I head back inside to the apartment where I've lived for the last couple of months with my boyfriend.

I shake my head. "No thanks," I mutter as Atlas rejoins me to grab another box.

We haven't officially broken up, but I fear the time will be coming soon. Not that I want to of course, because I'm completely infatuated with Atlas, but he deserves to start his new life away as a free, single man.

"Are you alright?" Atlas asks me as we push the last boxes in the truck and close it up. "You've barely talked to me all day."

"You haven't been overly talkative either," I say, sitting down on the sidewalk and leaning against the building.

This area isn't incredibly busy so there's no one stepping over me or kicking me for sitting on the ground. It's a warm day, and a surprisingly cool breeze is keeping sweat from dripping down my back and neck.

I look up at the buildings that tower over this New York street and wonder how anyone could pack up their whole life and leave. However, Atlas isn't everyone and I adore him and want the best for him.

No matter how it affects me...

"Sean, I-"

"I know. I agree," I cut off, forcing a smile even though my eyes are tearing up. "Maybe we'll meet again someday, but for now... yeah, it's just best we do."

Atlas raises his eyebrows in confusion. "Just so we're taking about the same thing, please tell me what you're talking about. I don't think we're on the same page."

"You want to break up."

"Uh..." Atlas trails off, his eyes filling with tears. When he responds, his voice sounds choked up and forced. "I guess you did know what I was thinking."

I take in a shaky breath. "Yeah. So, um..."

Atlas presses a soft kiss to my cheek. "If you ever make it to California, you have my number. I have a flight to catch now..."

"Yeah... I know." I sigh and lay my head back on the concrete, not looking at my b- well, now my ex boyfriend, I assume. "Have a safe flight, Atlas. You mean a lot to me and I hope we meet again."

"So do I, Sean. You've been the best decision I ever made."

Calin and Miles come downstairs, holding hands with Calin giggling.

"Come on, Atlas. Time to get to the airport!" he calls, and Atlas gets up, sending me one last look that I don't meet. "Sean, you coming?"

I shake my head. "I would, but I have to meet with Jennifer. Have a safe flight, Atlas."

He doesn't reply.

Once the car and van have left, I get up and decide to follow through with what I told Calin and actually walk to Jennifer's house even though it's nearly a half hour walk.

When I get there, Jennifer makes me a cup of chamomile tea and Sasha takes out her deck of tarot cards, candles, and crystals.

"Honey, maybe right now isn't-" Jennifer shuts up when Sasha sends her a threatening glare.

For a shorter and usually sweet woman, Sasha is definitely in charge and pretty threatening. More often than not, she gets Jennifer to back off or fully support her.

Their adorable relationship is pissing me off right now.

"Tell me word for word what happened," Sasha says, sitting across from me at the small card table that she decorates with her tarot stuff and other spiritual items. "Actually, I'm going to read you first!"

I sigh. "Sasha, I really don't-"

"I'm going to help you, Sean." Sasha begins shuffling through the cards. "Obviously you and Atlas broke up, and I feel horrible for you, sweetheart, but I don't think either of you wanted to. Just let me read you, darling."

I feel a new wave of tears building up in my eyes when she says that and Jennifer pats my shoulder in a soothing lesbian-aunt type of way which gives me a little bit of comfort. I just stare as Sasha shuffles the cards and takes them out, setting them up in a strange diamond shape.

"Oh, you poor thing," Sasha murmurs, flipping one of the cards. "Your near future is not looking amazing... very depressing and sad. But your distant future, it looks promising. Sweetheart, do you love Atlas?"

"Yes," I say without hesitation. "I mean-"

Sasha smiles softly. "Then go get him, sweetheart. He's your man and you two clearly have positive chemistry. The PDA isn't overbearing but the love is very clearly there. The adoration in your eyes... you two are soulmates, Sean. Go to him!"

"I can't leave my life here, Sasha," I snap, getting up. "I came here for comfort, not for you guys to tell me to leave everything behind for some guy I was only with for a few months!"

I grab my phone and wallet from the table and stomp away, slamming their door shut behind me. I'll apologize later, but I'm fuming right now and when I get downstairs to walk home, I see Miles in his car.

"Get in."

His tone leaves no room for discussion, so I reluctantly get inside despite the desire to keep walking away.

"Where's Calin?"

"He decided to take an Uber to the airport with Atlas so I could come get you."

I huff, crossing my arms childishly. "Who's idea was it ultimately?"

"Atlas'."

"Of course. He breaks my heart and then still takes care of me." 

Miles stops the car and I slam my head against the dash board.

"Ow! What the fuck?!"

"He didn't want to break up with you, Sean!" Miles says, sounding exhausted. "He was going to tell you he loves you!"

He shoves something in my hand, and I look down to see a plane ticket.

"He wanted you to go with him for a couple of weeks so you could spend time together! He wants this to work but you're giving up!" Miles shouts, and I have to fight to continue to glare at him and not cower. He seems to realize and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I shouted, Sean. But I know you love him and I don't want you to let this chance go because you're scared. Come on, what's life without a little risk?"

I roll my eyes. "You hate me taking risks."

"Not in this case."

I look at the ticket. "I'll never make it to the airport in time. I don't even have bags."

"I already called and changed your flight. Your bag is in the trunk."

My heart swells but drops again. "I'm scared, Miles."

"It'll be okay, Sean. You have a flight to catch and a mess to sort out. I'll send you the address for his apartment."

"Thank you, Miles," I say softly.

He smiles. "Come back when you're ready, Sean. And, if you never are... well, I can figure it out."