Keeper of The Lost Cities: Book 9: Showdown

Chapter 14 - Keefe's POV

That idiot... I very visibly seethe. I did (eventually) get around to making stir-fry, but with the recent play of events, I can't eat it. And this is stir-fry. Who doesn't like stir-fry?

Ok, fine. Maybe it doesn't taste the greatest.

But it's vegetarian.

And you can add whatever you want to it.

And it's food.

Who can say no to food?

You, right now, my brain tells me.

Stop thinking, brain! I think.

Also, you're having a mental conversation with yourself. My brain did not stop thinking. Inconsiderate brain.

Liam and Dr. Daniel stare at me like I've gone crazy.

You probably have.

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?"

"We weren't talking...?" Liam says. Dr. Daniel nods like he's assuring himself. Yes, he is no longer sane.

I shake my head. "Sorry. My brain is being a jerk."

Dr. Daniels nods again. "Yes, brains tend to do that."

Liam stares at both of us like we've both gone crazy. I think we have.

I pick up my plate and put it in the sink, feeling Liam's gaze follow. I pretend not to notice. I don't need any more oh-dear-something's-wrong-with-Keefe-I-feel-bad looks or feelings. I get it enough in the Lost Cities. I like parties, but not when they have the word "pity" in front of them.

I decided it would be a good idea to get a bunch of bouncy balls, and when they got here, the first thing I did was get them to end up everywhere. That way, there's bouncy balls everywhere! It's the most awesome thing in the history of awesome things!

No. scratch that. It's the fourth awesomest thing in the history of awesome things.

Right after my hair, this thing called the mirror, and hair products.

I start (quite aggressively, too) to throw the bouncy ball at the wall. I think I'm hurting the wall. No worries, just give me a picture of Bangs Boy, and then I'll throw the ball at that. Then you don't need to get hurt. I seethe again. Aha! I can just draw a picture of our fellow Tammy Boy! Then all I need will be a dart board!

But I'm too lazy to be drawing right now. I don't feel like it.

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh I don't know what I feel! I'm supposed to be an Empath, but I can't figure out my own feelings?

I want to punch something.

I need to punch something.

Slam!

Liam yells from the other room, "STOP MURDERING THE WALL!"

My knuckles turn red and I think they start to bleed, but I can't see through the wall of tears covering my eyes.

I sink to the floor and sob by myself, glad none of my friends from the Lost Cities - glad Foster - isn't there.

Why is my life like this?

Why am I so alone?

I was coping with my new world, just scraping along, but I was doing fine!

Why did That Idiot have to remind me of the one thing that could tear me apart?

No.

Foster is not a thing.

She is a person.

The person that I...

Love.

I punch the wall again.

I don't deserve her.

I've screwed up so many times.

But she's the one thing keeping me together, yet at the same time, tearing me apart.

I wish...

For so much.

For more than I am worthy of.

"Mate, did the wall kill your puppy or-" Liam walks into my room, but stops short when he sees me huddled on the floor, crying my heart and soul out. At this point, my blood is probably dried, hardened, and crumbled from the loss of water.

"There's nothing wrong with me, so you don't need to look at me like that..." I choke out. I'm not going to look at him, not in this state. "I don't want or need your pity."

Liam doesn't say anything, but he walks out and then walks back in, crouching next to me and handing me a boxing glove.

That's enough to make me stop crying.

I rub my eyes and squint at his hand. Maybe it's a box of tissues, and I'm just seeing it like a glove?

I reach over and take it from his hand. No, it's a boxing glove.

"When my mother and uncle passed, um, it was around the same time as when I was in the Army." he looks down and clears his throat. "A lot of... traumatic things happened around that time. I wasn't in good shape regarding any aspect of my life."

He looks up. "I wasn't able to cope with a lot of stuff very well. I would lash out at my commanding officers, yell at random people across the street. My father even recommended dropping out of the army and seeing a therapist, but... me, Liam Daniel, I thought it was something to be embarrassed about, to need to see a therapist. And I loved being in the Army. I almost cut all connection with Pops, just for him looking out for me." Liam took a deep breath and pointed at the glove. "Then, I took up boxing. Keefe, I think it'll help you, the same way it helped me."

I calm myself down as much as I can, sit up, and rub my bloodshot eyes. "I don't want to punch anything. They didn't do anything to me."

"Think of it like it's whatever was making you cry just now."

"I wasn't crying... my eyes were just leaking."

"That's called crying, mate."

"Oh."

Liam stands and holds his hand out to me. "C'mon, I can get a punching bag and we can set it up in my office." He gives me a once-over. "You might want to rest and take a pain-reliever. I'm sure you have a banging headache right now."

Bam, as soon as he said it, I realized I did have one.

"Will human pain relievers even work on me?" I'm not human. I've never swallowed a pill before. What if it gets stuck in my throat?

"Sleep, then."

"I can't."

Liam looks at me. "You will."