The End of the Road

Chapter Twenty

heyyy so in case you didn't notice, i deleted the next two or three chapters after this one and rewrote this one because things weren't going where I needed them to go before, so i'm just going to restart on this part and the change the plot a bit. if you're reading this after or on 12/12/22 for the first time, then ignore this, this is just for people who are confused and thinking they imagined the last things they read in here. good news, my friend, you're not delusional!

I don't know why people describe anger as red. They always say red, hot, boiling anger.

That's not what I feel- I feel blankness. I feel like a black page with all the colors waiting to be scribbled on me, but they don't. I'm left with no color, just white, plain paper.

I can't get myself to express my emotion but I can tell which one I'm feeling.

White, blank, plain anger.

Keefe explained yesterday how he had talked to Grady the day he left and how Grady had gave him an imparter for emergencies.

I hadn't said much since then. Keefe said it wasn't Gradys fault but he wasn't there. He wasn't there when I wasn't eating or sleeping. He wasn't there when I shut everything out. He wasn't there when I was crying on my floor for hours.

But Grady was.

He was there for all of it and he did nothing. He had a way to get to Keefe and he didn't tell anyone. He knew how to contact him and he still watched me fall apart.

I'm never going back home.

I've told Keefe this, many times, but he still insists that I go home for a day and sort everything out, and that was exactly what he was doing on our now daily walk.

"You don't have to tell them where you've been hiding or tell the council you're there, just explain that you won't be coming back and smooth things out."

"I told you Keefe, I'm not going back. I don't care what Grady has to say."

"I know you guys got in a fight before you left but that's no reason to never speak to him again!" Keefe took a breath and ran his hand though his hair.

"Look, Grady and Edaline are suffering. All they need to know is that you're safe."

"Yeah right, they'll probably call the council as soon as I show up and lock me up in Exile."

"They wouldn't put you in Exile just for keeping a secret."

"That's what they did to Prentice." I pointed out.

"You know your parents wouldn't do that to you." He said gently.

"How do you know they won't?"

We've been arguing about this for three days and neither of our opinions have changed.

"I'm begging you Sophie. Don't do this to them, just go say you're okay and come back and then we can just stay here. Please." I considered it for a second, just because he used my name. Maybe I should go back... but I can't risk it. The council could show up and then who knows what they'll do. Not to mention the last few time with Grady and Edaline were not pleasant.

"No. They're not like they used to be. I can't risk going there. What if the councils there and they take me away, Keefe?"

"Then I'll break you out or something."

"And you risk being captured by the Neverseen?" That was the whole reason he was hiding here anyway, because of the Neverseen.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take for your parents closure."

I sighed and stopped walking on the pavement to face him.

"Keefe, I'm not going back, at least not right now. I won't risk your or my safety for a quick visit to my par- Edaline and Grady. They'll be fine for a couple of days but if it makes you fell better, I'll send them a transmission so they know I'm safe and won't be back in the lost cities for... however long." How long did we plan on doing this? We couldn't hide from our problems forever, especially with the neverseen running free. even if i'm mad at everyone fighting against the neverseen, I can't stop fighting them.

Even if I hate it, I'm still the moonlark, and I might be the only one to be able to take down the neverseen.

I shook those thoughts aside for now, focusing on the discussion at hand.

Keefe was silent as he looked at me for a moment, then sighed a minute later.

"I can tell you're not going to change your mind on this, so fine, I'll leave it alone, but you have to send them a message two days from now. I would tell you to do it right now, but they would be suspicious if they called me and then they suddenly hear from you."

I could tell Keefe was upset that I wasn't going to visit them, but it was too risky. And maybe I'm just not ready to face Grady yet.

"I know you're worried about them, and maybe I should be too, but I know that they're going to be okay without me, so there is no reason for you to be stressing about it, okay?"

Keefe nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Well, not that that settled, what should we do?"

"We could go to the park and sit at one of those benches? It's a nice day out and we should probably spend more time outside."

Unfortunutly, Keefe was right. We had been kind of holed up in our apartment since I got here, but in our defense, it was extremely hot out.

Luckily, it was starting to cool down, but just slightly. The sun still beat down, making me want to jump in the lake I saw on Keefes tour of the town.

"Can I ask you something," Keefe said as we walked to the benches.

"You can, but I won't promise an answer due to your suspicious vagueness."

"Grady was saying how you were acting weird and secretive before you left and I know you said you found out a secret you couldn't tell anyone when you first caught me up on things, but can you tell me now? Or is it something no one can ever know even if we're not in the lost cities?"

Technically, that problem was irrelevant to Keefe. He couldn't tell the council and even if he could, I know he wouldn't.

"Well... I guess I could tell you but you have to promise to never tell anyone about, and when I say that I mean you can never even hint that you know this information, got it?"

"Woah, I don't know, do I want to know this information? I mean, you didn't like kill anyone did you?" Keefe brought his voice down a few octives when he said the word kill and I sighed.

"If only it were that simple. We should wait until we sit down for me to tell you though."

The benches were scattered among a wide and open area of grass with a couple trees that offered shade. We chose one that sat in the sun and was the farthest away from all the other benches and the play ground where little kids screeched and laughed as they hung from monkey bars and slid down the slides that must have seemed huge to them.

Oh, to be a kid again.

"Where should I start?" 

ahhhh i'm so exited to be writing in this again. still no promises with updates though bc chemistry and geometry aren't for the weak. Also, 2.6 FREAKING READS!?!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHH!!! Thank you all so much!!!!