The End of the Road

Chapter Twenty One

There was only one thing I liked about babies when I was a kid, and it was the fact that they were completely and totally thoughtless. Well, until they're about five months old; but, even then, their thoughts are much quieter than older humans. 

As we grow older, we think more. We obsess over small things, we stress, we strategize, we just think think think think think. All the time. None stop.

Babies are different. They don't have a whole lot to think about. And even if their nonstop crying gave me a headache, it was something other people heard too. A noise that everyone could hear, not just me and someone else.

I liked babies. 

I especially liked Amy when she was a baby. She cried at night and kept the whole house up, but she was a quiet mind. Someone I could finally be around without invading their privacy and getting a headache.

I don't think I like babies anymore. 

They're like a constant reminder of everything. Why Fitz is mad at me, why the blackswan and the council want to find me, why I left. Its all some stupid baby's fault. 

Well, not just any baby I guess. 

I shake that thought out of my mind. I will not be thinking of...her? Him? I wonder what gender-

No. Stop that. 

I take a deep breath and focus on whats in front of me.

Keefe. The picnic bench we're sitting on. The park. 

So. Many. Kids.

"So? Can you tell me your classified top secret now? Or are there spys everywhere?" Keefe looked around, like the kids playing recklessly on the monkey bars were gathering information for an FBI institution.

I roll my eyes.

"You promise you won't tell? Not for any reason?"

"Only for the hundredth time, Foster."

I look around, even though I know no one is listening or cares or would even think this conversation is good enough to tune into with no context. 

"Well, you know how I told you Oralies my biological mom?" I whisper for no other reason than I feel like I need to.

Keefe nods, not joking anymore.

"Well, the whole reason I had to run away was because of a secret she wanted me to keep for her. She hasn't told anyone but me and I most definitely shouldn't be telling you but..." I leave the sentence lingering, unsure how to say it. Well, actually, I know exactly how to say it but know how to and really doing it are two very different things.

"But..." Keefe intices, scooting closer as if he would hear something better, "come on Foster don't leave me hanging here, I'm so closer to knowing another great big one of your secrets."

Rip it off like a bandaid. 

One.

Two.

"Oralies pregnant with my technically biological sibling."

The words are out of mouth before I can think of them. I didn't whisper that part like I had meant to. In fact, I may have said that a bit too loud. Are people staring at us?

I glace around again but no one is, too focused on talking with other parents and watching their kids. I look back to Keefe and almost laugh.

His mouth is hanging open like he wants to say something but is stuck between not knowing what to say and not knowing if he should say it. His eyes are wider than I've ever seen them, kind of like those perfectly round big patters.

I don't speak. I hardly breathe as I wait for him to do the honors and break the deafening silence between us. 

I count exactly twenty two seconds until he finally blinks and closes his mouth. Then opens it. Then closes it. Then opens it. Then closes it again. And when he open his mouth again there's only the start of a word that hasn't fully formed that comes out before he closes it again and continues to stare at me.

"Keefe? Are you... okay?" 

"Wha..." He looks like he's studying my face, though I don't know why and I wish he would just say something. Anything.

He shakes his head, blinks fast three times, rubs his face twice and looks back to me. 

"What do you mean? Like Oralies... pregnant? When? How? With who?" 

"Well, I didn't know I'd have to give a lesson on the how but-"

"STOP, no no no. That's not what I meant. I mean... isn't she in the council?" For a moment I think I can see red brushed across his cheeks and I can't help but laugh.

"Did I just make the great Keefe Sencen blush?" I tease, almost proud of myself.

He rolls his eyes. "Come on, this is the one time in our lives where I'm the serious one and you're the one making me blush and joking."

"Okay, okay, I'll be serious. Yes, she's pregnant. She said she was five months so now it would probably be around six months I think. And as for the who... I have no clue."

"Well what is she going to do? Is she going to hide it? Give it away? Retire?"

"Well, she had a plan to give it away but.." I grimace when I think back to the conversation I had with Oralie when she asked me.

"But what? Come on Foster, you've got to stop with these awful cliffhangers, I'm on the edge of my seat over here!" He literally was because he was as close to me as the table separating us would allow him to be.

"She only told me about it because she wanted me to take it in and I said no to her... and maybe some other stuff." I looked down as the memory played though my head on repeat.

Maybe I shouldn't have said some of that. Or maybe it was deserved. Reguardless, its not my problem anymore and it should have never been in the first place.

Keefe was raising an eyebrow at me.

"And... when you said no with this "other stuff," did you mean no? Or do you want to help her?"

"Of course I don't want to help her. She gave me up to a secret organization that experimented on me and kept it a secret that she was my biological mother ever since I met her. I don't care what happens to her or that baby and for all I care, she can give that one away to the black swan and they can have a round two at Project Moonlark since I seem to be such a screw up."

"Well your emotions are going off the charts for someone who doesn't care, Foster. I think we both know that even if you know it isn't your responsibility to take care of this kid, you still feel like you need to protect them." 

I glower at the table as if it were the splintering woods fault Keefe got to be an empath an I got to have strong emotions.

"And for the record, you're not a screw up. You're the most perfect science experiment ever, and you know I still like you even though your part horse."

"Shut up." I want to shove him but he's already standing up and stretching. 

it's just now that I realize the sun is starting to set and the kids that were playing before had  packed up and begun to gone home. I stand up and also stretch before going over to next to him. 

"Okay horse girl, lets start heading back home. We can talk more about this once we eat and shower because I'm starving, and you stink."

"Hey!" This time I do shove him but he only laughs as we start walking back to the hotel, and for once I can finally feel some of the pressure lifted off my shoulders, because now I'm not he only person who knows all my secrets. Now, I have a person to share them with, and there's no one else in the world I would rather be sharing them with. 

heyyyyyyyyyyy. soo, i updated and, yes, it may have taken me like year but, who counting right?...right? hopefully i don't beat that new record of most time taken to update but i would like thank The_Schylersisters and Mishelle663 for commenting so much which encouraged me to finally update. thank you for reading loves, byeeeee