Mon Amour | Rafe Cameron

DEUX

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Calla aggressively slid open the door getting in, a line, formed across her lips. The friends staring at her confused because just a moment ago she seemed so happy. Her honey colored hair parted in the middle while small strands framed her face, making her look like the goddess that she once felt like. "Rafe fucking Cameron," she mumbled, biting the inside of her cheek.

"What?"

"He pushed me out of the way and I pretty much fell to the ground!"

The brunette pogue looked out the vans cracked window to see Rafe talking to the other kooks. "Did he hurt you," the dark haired boy asked.

"No, Pope I'm fine." Calla shot back sarcastically.

Calla had a pretty short temper but was good at hiding her anger. But something about the disrespectful encounter struck her wrong. It could have been how mad he looked that kind of scared her. But the drug preserved on his nose made her wonder what he would've done in the situation if the drug wasn't coursing through his veins in that moment. She knew she shouldn't have been so upset but she never understood how someone could let a drug take over their life.

The brunette started the van and backed out turning onto the road towards the chateau. Calla tried to focus on the fact that her friends were there and she shouldn't take it out on them, but after seeing someone that seemed hooked on the same drug as her father, she couldn't hold it back. The girls eyes glistening, as she sat there, legs pulled to her chest, thinking. When her father would have his temper fits she would just go to her room while he took it out on  her mother. But sometimes when she couldn't get there in time, her father would drag her into his thoughts, projecting his negative out-look on life onto her. It made her worry and caused her a lot of anxiety, so after they passed she began to have meaningless hookups to take her mind off of it. She didn't know why this helped as the split second of bliss wasn't even close to the comfort her soul ached for.

They pulled up to the chateau dragging themselves out of the van and Calla headed inside. She came out with a joint and a pack of beer. "Yea baby! Calla's got the right idea." JJ, the blonde pogue quietly cheered. "Can you not encourage this JJ?" Kie stated, making her lips frown into concern for the beautiful girl.

"C'mon Kie, it's only a joint."

"Yea the 3rd one today!" Kie snapped. Calla rolled her eyes as she also didn't like getting high but it was the only thing that prevented her thoughts from throwing her into a whirlwind of negative emotions and demons that made her spiral into what seemed like never ending anxiety. "It's our last one Kie, don't worry." Calla told her, making the curly haired girls concerned look ease. Calla lit the joint, smoke rolling from the end, before raising it up to her mouth and sucked on it until her lungs ached. She instantly felt her thoughts back down and she relaxed, opening a can of beer and sipping. Her friends watched silently as she drowned in unhealthy habits to forget about what everyone knew she was going through. They had no idea how hard it was as they have never been through it, but they still tried to understand. They watched as her eyes, underlined with dark circles grew heavy. They watched her struggle to take another drink of beer before her head fell to the side, resting on the tree she sat against, falling into a deep sleep. This had been going on for almost a year, ever since the accident. They all shared looks of sympathy before talking about unrelated things as they couldn't even bare to think about what Calla was going through for too long without developing some anxiety too.

                                              //

Henna, the blonde girl next to Calla woke up to the boys on the dock, fishing. Calla was shaken awake as the sun was bright on her face. "You okay la?" Henna questioned. She had always called Calla la. The others kind of picked up on the nickname, and from time to time would label her as la too. She hummed, letting her best friend know she was awake. When Calla's eyes finally opened her head throbbed. She tried to stand but stayed in place a moment trying to maintain her balance. She gathered her things checking the clock to see 12:11. "God, how long did I sleep?" She sighed. "We didn't wanna wake you up. You looked pretty tired," the brunette pogue called from the dock as the other two boys agreed.

She nodded and entered the small bathroom of the chateau, she stared at herself in the mirror noticing the dark circles under her eyes were still there. She felt them under her fingertips before splashing some cold water onto her face to wake her up. Calla had work at 2 , but contemplated going as her eyes stung every-time she blinked. Her heart sped up when she realized she would have to go home, to change and take a shower. Dread filled her stomach as her mind wandered, wondering what her aunt and uncle would comment on today. She walked out of the chateau with her bag heading towards her bike. "I'll see you guys later!" She shouted, and they all waved. She smiled as she watched them turn back around to get back to what they were doing. She placed her bag in the basket and began to peddle. "Shit." She cursed under breath at how annoying it was to have to use her bike to get across town. Her parents were driving her car when the accident happened since theirs wasn't working at the time. Now she was only left with her old bike. She snapped out of her daze realizing how ungrateful she sounded, noting mentally not to think that way again.

She pedaled until she saw her so called home in the distance. When she arrived she parked her bike next to the smaller garage before heading over to the side of the house to enter. She came in to the leftover scent of bacon from breakfast. The smell made her realize how hungry she actually was since she hadn't eaten since the day before. She quietly walked over to the kitchen to see Aunt Pen putting away groceries. She hesitated before plastering a smile onto her face, then entering.

"Hi Aunt Pen."

Her aunt looked up with a small smile before Calla"s heart dropped as she watched her Aunts eyes wander down her body. "Wow, what did you eat for breakfast, must have been filling," she assumed, her eyes widening when it came to Callas stomach. Callas eyes fluttered as she took in her aunts words. She stood there as it felt like the words had sliced her in half. She instantly lost her appetite pushing down the thoughts of how hungry she was. "Oh- uh yes, I just came to shower," she stuttered. Her aunt nodded turning her attention back to the groceries laying on the counter. Calla turned on her heel to leave making her way upstairs. Her stomach ached for something other than alcohol. She was already nauseous from her empty stomach and the joints from yesterday.

After her shower, she did feel a little better and the idea of food was reintroduced. She reached into her small white, wooden nightstand drawer and pulled out a granola bar. She unwrapped it quietly, hoping no one heard it so her aunt wouldn't come upstairs and crush her hopes of fulfilling her stomachs needs again, all because of what her aunt thought she should look like.

As she laid on her bed, her phone buzzed. She reached over to see who it was. It was Kie informing her of a party on figure eight that she were going to later that night. She knew Kie wanted her to stop worrying and since she was now in a kook family, she would be invited to the parties on figure eight. Still fatigued she sent a thumbs up, eager to have a reason to leave the house.

She laid back down on her bed, staring at the ceiling going over every familiar crack in the drywall. Her eyes wondered over to the painting on the wall that said 'Mon Amour'. A smile grew on her face when she remembered her father painting on that canvas outside with her, when she was younger. Her mind flashed back to when her father would teach her French. He was born in France and loved to paint. He knew learning French and about her French side of the family was important for Calla. He would always call her 'my love' — 'mon amour'.

Tears peeked at her eyes but she held them back. Her mother also loved learning French and it actually used to be a big part of her life when they were still alive. Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone buzzed again.