Mon Amour | Rafe Cameron

TROIS

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Even though Calla had a intuitive feeling to check the text message, she felt so relaxed, which is a rare feeling in the house she considered death row. Instead of going with her gut, she let the feeling take over, before dozing off.

Calla had always loved the island, and her parents made sure she was involved with plenty of things, making her pretty well known around town. She met her friends in school, but now that she attended Kook Academy, she dreads the day when school starts again. Although, she tried her best to keep her mind off of it since summer had just started.

When a knock at the door sounded in Callas deep sleep, she was forced back to consciousness caused by the startling noise. Her eyes slid open as her blurry vision cleared. She quickly put the granola bar that had only a few bites off of it back in her drawer before sliding off her bed to see what whoever was behind the door, needed.  "Calla, what are you doing? I thought you had work," her Aunt Pen questioned, as soon as the door opened. "Oh um yeah, I decided not to go today." Calla confessed, hesitant, knowing her aunt would have some kind of degrading remark to make Calla feel completely unloved.

Pen rolled her eyes, with a small chuckle. "Why? You don't feel like it? You do absolutely nothing but somehow don't feel like going to your effortless job? You have no idea what the real world is like Calla." Pen ranted. Calla stood still in her place, she wanted to fight back and tell her to give her some space. Considering it hadn't even been a year since she lost both of her parents in such a traumatic way, but she knew Pen wouldn't listen. She knew everyone expected her to act like it never happened and get over it. They just wanted her to fulfill their needs, making them seem flawless, in hopes everyone would congratulate them on having such a responsible niece. But Calla was no where near responsible. Calla's last priority at the moment was everyone else's opinion. That is, how she wanted to feel, but she cared so much what everyone thought of her and didn't know why. She used to work hard trying to please everyone including herself, tackling every obstacle in her way. Now, she found herself avoiding minor problems that stood between her and making the people around her proud, and she hated herself for it. She used to work so hard to prove herself to others, but now she had just given up. "Calla are you even listening to me?" Pen snapped.

She perked up, nodding her head. This seemed to make her aunt even more frustrated when she huffed, making it clearly visible how disappointed she was. "Ward called to make sure you were still able to house sit for them, you're 18 Calla, you need to do better." Pen demanded.

"Yeah I'm still house sitting, I didn't forget." She stated boldly, becoming more and more drained from the conversation that with no doubt would make her feel disgusted with herself afterwards.

Aunt Pen stared at her for a moment, surprised by her tone. "Well excuse me for trying to help, I- I don't want you to become like your father. That's exactly where you get your laziness from, and your attitude." A pang of heat shot up her chest, finding it nice to hear her aunt even mention her parents, but heartbroken she had just pinned the cause of her disappointing behavior on her father. Pen's voice became quieter in the distance as she walked back down the hall, probably on her way to rant to Mark about her and Callas conversation.

When Pens voice was no longer heard, Calla finally spun on her heels, turning back into her room. She closed the door behind her, slumping onto her bed. She felt her body sink into the soft mattress, in attempt to comfort her but failing. Calla started to shake uncontrollably. her anxiety at it's climax, pulling her into an unwanted state of misery. She cried hysterically as her demons suffocated her. Reminding her of everything. Calla wasn't perfect even when her parents were alive, as they always talked about her beauty, forgetting her few successes. She knew they had some doubts as to where she was going to end up, and she sometimes thought maybe everything was her fault. Maybe it was karma for not being better for them. Calla sobbed, feeling her room spin as her head throbbed. Her own brain attacking her heart making her feel worthless. Nobody understood, her friends tried but no one truly understood what it was like trying to live up to someones unrealistic standards, while recovering from losing the two most important people in your life. Especially, when the ones expected to bring her up, knocked her down.