A Drop In The Lake

finding my path since

Alessa

My feet take control as I walk down the imposing halls of Andersen Hall. After yesterday's practice, Coach asked to speak with me during 'activities period,' and as if that wasn't ominous enough, she asked me to come alone. Definitely in trouble.

"Hello Coach Middleton." I begin, my hands fidgeting with my backpack straps.

"Alessa. Come in. And there's no need to be so formal. Please, sit down." Coach Middleton offers.

I move, uncomfortably, around the historic leather chair in front of her desk, dropping my backpack off next to me.

"Alessa, what's going on? Why are you acting so tense?" Coach Middleton asks.

"Oh. Sorry," I clear my throat. "So what did you want to see me for?"

"Relax. You're not in trouble Alessa, I just want to ask you about your plans for college and after." She reveals.

"Oh." Okay, so you're not in trouble... What's the catch?

"I'm not entirely sure about what I'm going to do after college, but I'm applying to a bunch of colleges so that I can keep my options open." I reply.

"Okay. What academic area are you applying under?" Continues Coach.

"Depends." I clip.

Coach responds with an inquisitive eyebrow raise.

"Some I'm applying as undecided, but ones that have good architecture programs, I'm applying under that field." I stutter out.

"Okay. Is that what you want to do Alessa? Be an architect?" Supplies Coach.

"I mean, yeah. I don't know. I like architecture, but I don't know what to do about rowing." I reply, defeated.

"Alessa, I'm not asking you to try and trip you up, I just want to know what you're planning on doing. I know you as a rower, you're persistent, confident, determined, I know you can row, but I want to know what else you can do. You don't have to make your whole life about rowing just to please me, so enlighten me. What does Alessa Klein like to do in her free time?" Asks Coach, moving to sit in front of me, on her desk.

"I like to draw. Not just architecture stuff, but like actual drawings — people, animals, anything — but I won't be able to make a living off of drawing random things, so it seemed like architecture was the best option — I like it enough to make it a career, so why not." I finish, sitting back in my seat.

"That's not the Alessa I know. Come on. The Alessa I know will pursue whatever makes her happy and worry about income later. You're a smart girl Alessa, and I appreciate that you want to be secure in your future, but sometimes you find things go better when you don't know, or can't predict a certain outcome." Ends Coach.

I let her words ring in the air for a moment like the chapel bell before I fully grasp the experienced wisdom she is passing down to me. Her words seep into my pores and hug my insecurities, leaning my teetering seesaw in the direction of passion and love rather than simple safety. She's right, you know.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I ask, feeling lost in my path less journey.

"Can I offer a suggestion, a school you should add to your list?" Inquires Coach.

"Please." I beg.

"NYU. They have a great arts program for any field you may find yourself gravitating towards, and a rowing team. I'm really good friends with their head coach, and there's not a person on this planet I'd feel more honored to officially recommend than you." Reveals Coach, lighting my insides and boiling the budding pot of water in the pit of my stomach.

"Officially?" I question, finally hearing every word she's spoken.

"I've been talking to Barbara since you started rowing here. You're a really special girl Alessa, and I know her well enough to know she'd want a girl like you on her team."

Okay, I think I'm going to have a heart attack with how nice Coach is being to me right now, she needs to calm down.

"Thank you Coach—"

"Clara." She corrects.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you're looking out for me, and if I'm going to be honest, it's been a bit hard finding my path since Rhea's passing. It just is so hard to not feel guilty moving on and enjoying life without Rhea being here. She's my best friend, so to know that I have someone else looking out for me, means more than I could ever express to you." I reveal, letting my heart completely tear open.

"I know Rhea's death has been hard on us all, and I've tried to be the coach I know you girls need during this time, while also being the coach that can help you improve. So I mean it, Alessa, if you ever need anything, and I mean anything at all, please let me know." Finishes coach, getting up from her desk, and signaling me to do the same.

I rise from my chair, and Coach instantly envelops me in the biggest hug, full of the most love I've felt from her. Usually Coach is all crew all the time, so to see her so sincere is breaking my heart open and stuffing it with joy.

I back up from the hug, feeling a new sense of urgency flood my system, and wipe a tear from my face that unknowingly fell.

When I finally find the courage to leave her office, I make my way down the hallway and to my Spanish class — head held high, shoulders back, red puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

Let's fucking do this.
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Cheeky upload, I'm at college rn so I'm a bit busy, but... who's your biggest inspiration in life?