A Drop In The Lake

the things I love about my parents

Alessa

    Fourteen days, three hours, and twenty five minutes since I broke up with Cameron. While I know this will be better, for the both of us, in the long run, it's been hard...

    I came home this weekend with the intention to get my mind off things, but as I finish up my last bit of calculus AB homework, and all of my work for the subsequent week, I find myself fighting to pick up my phone and text Cameron. Since we broke up, I've gotten a string of text messages asking for a better reason for my breaking up with him, but because I not only refused to answer his text, but avoid him whenever possible, it seems he's gotten the message.

        Cameron: Good night <3

    The familiar message pops up on my phone. I open up our text chat to see the more recent thread of Good night's and Good morning's. Like me, it seems that Cameron is struggling to let go of my existence all together.

    "Alien." Soothes my father's voice, from the other side of my door, knocking as he does so. Another thing I love about my parents, they know how to accept my boundaries, waiting for me to be ready to accept their entrance.

    "Come in." I holler back, setting my books off to one side of my bed.

    When my father's face peaks around my door, the softness in his eyes melts me faster than a hot chocolate bomb. Words escape me as my dad shuffles towards my bed, outstretched arms, pouted lip, tilted head. All of it is too much to take in, so I just stay where I am as my dad wraps his arms around me in an awkwardly positioned hug.

    He takes a moment to flatten my hair and whisper pity-filled pleas into my ear, calming me down from my onslaught of emotion.

    "Now," he begins. "Tell me what happened."

    With that the flood gates come rushing open, each emotion fighting to be the first one out. For the past two weeks, I've fought to keep every emotion sequestered in the prison that is my brain, not wanting to raise concern over my situation, but I can't do it anymore, not to my dad. As each memory rips from my mouth it strips my throat of continuity, rather each moment leaves faster than I can think it up, and by the end I'm left dry eyed and wholly unsure of myself.

    I can see the words running around my dad's head as he formulates a response, "This Max kid, did Cameron tell you why he doesn't like him?"

    His question hits my head in an instance. I think back on every conversation we've had concerning Max, but never do I remember him telling me why Max hates him.

    "I... don't know," I reveal, fighting to search my deeper subconscious.

    My dad looks at me again, an all telling gleam shimmering in the corner of his eyes, "I'm willing to bet he doesn't know why either."

    With that my thoughts trickle back to all the nights Cameron spent crying in my room and cursing Max out, only to be soothed by whatever distraction I could think of. All to get back the once smiling boy.

    "Ale, honey," whispers my dad, cutting into my thoughts. "There's no way you could have known —"

    "But I should have!" I interject, a fresh hoard of tears lining up behind my lashes.

    "No you shouldn't've. Cameron is his own person. I can understand him coming to you for help, but at the end of it all, there's only so much you can do. What he needs to do is have a conversation with his dad."

    "He tried, but all he did was hire him a stupid PR agent, what's that gonna do?" I plead, working myself over the brink of teary eyes.

    "Alessa, I know full well what he and his father talked about. Believe it or not, but since you and him started seeing each other, your mom and I have become very close with his parents." Reveals my dad, moving his hands to cradle my face.
    I huff out a sigh of frustration, answering, "I know. I just wish I could do more."

    "Alessa, you have already done so much. And while I know it may seem hard to understand at this point in time, you and him taking a break from each other, giving each other time to heal over past wounds, that will bring you both closer together in the end." Finishes my dad, enveloping me in another, short, hug.

    "Okay." I relinquish when he lets go of me. "But it better be quick cause I'm bored over here."

    "What about me?" Asks my dad in a joking tone.

    "You know what I mean. I need someone I can talk to about rowing, and gossip about professors with." I add a comedic tone filtering into my voice.

    "You've got me there. You and your rowing lingo are on a whole new level." He jokes back.

    Our serious moment turns comedic from that point on, each of us chiming in with funny one liners as we both grab at the pillows at the top of my bed and start playfully hitting each other with them. My mom peeks in to join the fun when she hears us horsing around. It's at this moment that I realise the things I love about my parents could never be covered with a list. All the things they do to cheer me up, the wisdom they pass down to remind me how human I am, all of it floods my soul, and the pieces of my heart that shook with the loss of Cameron, hold themselves together.

    At ten o'clock my parents make their way out of my room, wishing me a good night's sleep, and before I settle under my sheets, I send off a text.

        Alessa: I'll be here if you need me, but I also know you need space from me. Take your time, figure things out, but know when you do I'll be waiting for you. <3

_______

Big news alert!

I've finally figured out the end of the story and how I'm gonna get there : )

I'm not sure how to feel about it, I'm excited one moment and then the next I'm sad af about the fact that I will soon have to leave this world to bask in all its glory...

When I do finish it, however, I'm thinking of going through and ironing some things out, making any correction I didn't notice the 1st time around, and doing a Q+A.

IDK what my next project will be, but I can't wait to get started!
ANYWHOOOOOOO,
it's not over yet, so...
Today's question is:

What was one thing you did that you thought you'd hate, but ended up loving?

Mine's writing... I know it sounds strange, but let me tell you, as a kid with severe ADHD, the prospect of writing sounded like such a task... It used to take me hours, even days to write a single paragraph, so ofc I didn't like it... Then, I found romance novels, and became obsessed with the feelings and sensations expressed in them, and knew I wanted to be able to recreate those emotions someday, myself!

Till Sunday <3