ukiyo

yeoubi

yeoubi

(n.)

meaning:- the sun shining through the rain

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recommended songs for this chapter:-

i. mannipaya :- vinnathaandi vaaruvaya
ii. mazhai varum:- veppam

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Sivaangi had many people in her life as passing. They were there in her life for a short amount of time and then left with no warning. No one had been permanent in her life. There's familiarity but there's no such thing as a deep bond.

Except a select few, everyone had been like that and she had grown a sort of disinterest in relationships. What was the point when they all left at the end? Her divorce had intensified this fear and she shut herself off from people nas drowned herself in work and Advik.

But Ashwin, was this constant thought in her head. In the back of her mind, he was constantly swerving around like a speck of confetti amongst dust. She couldn't shake it off. It was oddly comforting for her, like a reminder of what she once had.

It baffled her how, even in places he wasn't there she could always feel his presence.

But when he confessed his love, her instant reflex was to shut herself off. She knew that the one person she could never shut herself off from was Ashwin. It was impossible, he always saw through her.

They didn't move from their position. His hands cupped her face hesitantly and his other hand was wound in hers. Sivaangi shook her head,

"Please don't love me." She was almost hysterical, her entire face covered in tears.

"Sivaangi," he whispered her name and she stopped moving. He tilted her chin up, "It's okay, just look at me."

Sivaangi warily met his eyes and she instantly calmed down. "Deep breaths okay?" he said and she followed. They stayed like that for some time. Ashwin brought his arms around her, and pulled her in closer.

She layed her head over his heart, and she wanted to cry again. After 10 years, she could hear his heartbeat again. Only after she did, she felt like her own heart started thumping.

The waves flowing behind her and the sound of his thumping heart felt like a lullaby made especially for her.

In that music, his words came through like a melody and he said. "Sivaangi, I know this might come off as sudden. But anyone can see I'm a man in love. Irrevocably and utterly in love with you."

She pulled back to see him and he said, "Ennala maraika mudiyathu. I can't pretend that I don't love you. That your voice doesn't make my heart soar. Nee illama enala iuka mudiyum, these 6 years were proof of that. My life will be fine. Just fine. But I don't want that. Ennaku nee venum. I want the wildness you bring into me. I don't want to be fine, I want you Sivaangi."

His eyes screamed of love and she didn't say anything. He let her process it, still holding her as she did.

"Ennaku bayama iruku," she said, her voice cracking and it broke his heart. He sighed and said,

"Me too. But I'm here with you. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. I promise."

Sivaangi hesitated and she detached herself from his arms. "No Ashwin, I'm not just me anymore. I have a son. En first priority avan than."