He knew that something was wrong with him. After everything he's been through, how could there not be? At first he just thought it was minor trauma, from the explosions and everything. But it was more than just that.
He was slightly- okay, very- terrified of everyone. Even his own "best friends," he knew he had no reason to fear Ranboo, yet he did. Everywhere he looked he saw a potential threat,maybe not to his physical health. But a threat nonetheless.
More than anything, he was alone. Sure he had friends, but even when he was with them he was alone. Inside jokes between Tubbo and Ranboo that he would never understand remind him of the past. Everywhere he looked he saw people being friends, close friends.
A type of friendship he knows he'll never get to experience again. He gets that feeling, those thoughts, all over again. The thoughts that tell him that he'll be alone forever. That he'll die with no friends. He ignores them as much as he possibly can, but sometimes they're too much. And other times they're too loud, too persistant to ignore.
Normally, he'd tell Tubbo or Wilbur, but Tubbo's always busy and Wilbur... Wilbur isn't Tommy's Wilbur. This Wilbur is a liar and idolizes Dream. This new Wilbur is trying to ruin his best friends marriage. So no, he isn't going to tell Wilbur anything.
He can't trust anybody else on the server, except for Puffy. Even so, he doubts that she truly cares. And then an idea hits. Techno reads whenever his "voices" get too much, and Ranboo has a memory book so he doesn't forget anything, just like Karl, who also has a journal to help him.
So what if he took up a hobby? He could try art or writing. And so he did. It helped to get his emotions out. His art, in his opinion, absolutely sucked. Next was writing, maybe he'd have better luck with that.
a/n
New story pog!
Did I write this as a way to cope
my anxiety? Yeah, so what?
Am I projecting my mental health
issues on Canon!Tommy?
Possibly. Lemme know if you wanna
see some of what "Tommy" drew in next chapter
-----sincerely,
kitty
YOU ARE READING
War- Torn Child Turned Author with Anxiety
FanfictionTommy knew something was wrong with him, but he just thought that it was trauma like Puffy said. So what happens when all you can see is friendship and your mind tells you that you'll never get that feeling of being close to someone again? Simple...
