War- Torn Child Turned Author with Anxiety

This too shall pass

         Tommy finally comes upstairs, and notices that it's nearing sunset. "Hey Fundy," he yells from his current spot in the kitchen. Fundy yells back, "Yeah," like you would when your mom calls you to go get the remote for her. "Whaddaya want for dinner?" Fundy gives the classic kid response of "I don't know."
       "I'm gonna make my favourite for dinner tonight then, if that's fine with you," Tommy asks. Fundy nods, expecting Tommy to see him. He did not. "I'm assuming your silence means yes," he uses his mum voice on Fundy that time.
He didn't know he had one.
           
         After everyone finished eating (and in Tommys case, cleaning) it was time for bed. The little ones were out quick. Fundy however... sure he went to sleep, but woke up an hour or so later, completely unsure of where he was, what was going on, or if he was even real. He should really see somebody about this but who would want to hear about his problems?
      Tommy heard a small gasp an hour past when he was supposed to be asleep. Curse his hyper-vigilance. It came from where Fundy was, so he immediately assumed the poor boy had another nightmare.
         Unfortunately, he has a child, so he has the immediate urge to go comfort him the same way he would comfort Shroud. Fuck you too, parental instincts. He will not become the next Philza Minecraft, so help him god.
      Nevertheless, here he is walking toward Fundy. "Hey bubs, it's uncle Tommy, can I sit down," Tommy sleepily asks. Fundy's eyes are open wide from terror, and he hesitantly nods yes.
     "State five facts about yourself, to start off," Tommy likes to use this tactic whenever he disassociates too heavily. "My name is Fundy. My mom was a salmon. My dad was a musician. I was supposed to be adopted, but wasn't. I am a trans man," Tommy smiles. He did good.
      "How about I sing you to sleep? It's what I do for Shroud, and I figured you'd like it too, remind you of when you were younger," he's careful with his wording, knowing how much having a song sung to you meant when you're a kid. He's not sure if Wilbur robbed Fundy of that, but if he did he was gonna fix it. Fundy nods yes, too exhausted to speak anymore.
       Tommy gets up, saying that he'll be back in a second. He comes back a minute or so later, with Wilbur's old guitar in hand, and once he's sat down, he begins to strum. It's a nice calming tu
     "Well things change fast. 'This too shall pass,' better carve it on your forehead or tattoo it on your ass," he sings softly, making Fundy giggle a little. It's a nice sound to hear, and an almost rare one too. "Cause who can tell, when the clock strikes twelve, if today's become tomorrow or if it's all just gone to hell," he changes his hands position on the guitar, a bit rusty since he hasn't played the guitar in what seems like forever.
      "My friend makes rings, she swirls and sings. She's a mystic in the sense she's still mystified by things, but scared to ask," by this point he has to take a breath. He's really out of shape. "How can nothing seem to last? Cause like a cancer in your body, it all just goes too fast," his voice is still soft, but saddened. He realises that he's the girl who makes rings, he knows it all goes too fast, just by looking back at his childhood, or lack thereof.
    He continuous strums the guitar, same notes and chords as before, in a rhythmic manner that keeps him from looking too far back into his memories and mind. "We think too big, we think our self is one whole thing, and we claim that this collection has a name and is a being, but deep inside, when every cell divides, well it sets upon the rule that states self interest is divine," he slows down the strumming a bit, but soon picks up the pace again.
        "And cancer too, lives by this golden rule: That you must do unto others as the others unto you. All for the best, cause it's all that life accepts. And so we kill it like a buffalo: with awe and respect," and it's at that moment that he wonders, if life goes by the "golden rule" then how come he has been hurt more than others? He can understand some parts of why Fundy is suffering, but people like him, people like Ranboo? Thats a whole other story.
     "Don't ask God, just holler at the sky. Cause she'll tell it to you plainly in the clouds that whisper by and praise the shapes, then praise the way they change. And they'll tell you not to pray to light without praying to rain," he always has loved the rain.
    Now though, he looks at Fundy and realises that he should probably also pray for the light. The light that's in Fundys eyes as he hears his fathers guitar after so many years. The light from Tubbo and the kids' smiles whenever he causes chaos with them or makes them a handmade gift.
     "So I pray to hands, and I pray to needs, and I pray to blades of grass to find forgiveness in the weeds. But as for health? I just never did believe, and so I never prayed myself, except to those that prayed for me," he sings sadly, knowing that he's the only one who prays for anyone in this server, and as such there's near to no chance that any divine interference or entity will aim to help him mentally in the long run.
     Worst part is that he's okay with it in a sense. He's come to terms with that fact, and he knows Drista is something short of a Demi-goddess, but she can't do anything to make people realise how much they've hurt him, and he's okay with that.
    "The story goes, or the way that I was told; There was a king that always felt too high, and then he fell too low, and so he called all the wise men to the hall. And he begged them for a gift to end the roses and the falls," he recounts Tubbo's days as President of L'manburg, of the days when he was that king during the L'manburg war and the disc wars.
       He remembers that same feeling during Pogtopia, every time he saw Wilbur, and when Techno didn't bother to help Wilbur fix his mental state. That feeling repeating itself during his time in Logsteadshire, until it became depression and he became downright suicidal.
     "But here's the thing: they came back with a ring. It was simple, and was plainly unbefitting of a king. Engraved in black, well, it had no front or back. But there were words around the band that said 'Just know: this too shall pass," and so he finishes singing.
   Fundy is now sound asleep, and he can't help but give him a small pet on his head. He notices Fundy's tail move a little, indicating he liked that, and as adorable as it was, he decided that he won't say anything about it the next morning. He recognises it's a sad thing, that he hasn't received that parental affection since Wilbur, or maybe at all, depending on how much he neglected Fundy. It saddens him, yes, but he must remember that this too shall pass as he heads off to bed, sleeping more soundly than before.

A/n: I wrote this at 5:00 in the morning.
No I didn't sleep. If I made any typos I will NOT be fixing them.
Would've updated sooner if someone in my family hadn't died.
He was abusive tho so I'm not sad about it. I hope that this chapter still turned out good despite the sleep deprivation
fucking with my sight lmao
                 <3 aerie