As the Galaxy Cries

Primrose

Primrose

-(n.) I can't live without you, our love is eternal.

After confessing to Sakusa, Atsumu expected to get a text from his brother, an angry one at that. But there was silence, and maybe that hurt more than an angry outburst. It meant that he wasn't worth the time and effort to even talk about, at least that's what the voice in the back of his head was telling him. Whether that was the reason for the radio silence, Atsumu would never know, and he'd soon learn that he didn't care.

Days seemed to start to blur together, Atsumu finding himself stuck somewhere between acceptance and launching himself out of the nearest window. Heartache shouldn't feel like this; love shouldn't cling to you like some disease. He thought that he was supposed to feel some kind of release after admitting his feelings to Sakusa, but all that was left was the sour taste of guilt.

Samu and Sakusa had left for their honeymoon, Atsumu refusing to pull up any social media, knowing that it would only be like putting salt into a wound. He really wanted to be happy for his brother, but the last thing that he wanted to see was his brother and the man he loved happy together; without him. He had already accepted the fact that they were together and happy, but that didn't mean that he would parade around and openly fawn over them. That was something that he couldn't force himself to do.

Atsumu finds himself promising to never fall in love again; if that were to ever happen.

He hates to admit it, but the one person keeping him afloat, a person that at least knew what he was going through, was Kita. It was a...weird relationship that he had with his past captain. Both of them are too stubborn to talk about their own feelings in detail, but aware of the other's pain as they provided a comforting silence. Whether that was weekly meetups to have tea, coming over to watch taped videos of their old volleyball games, or in the middle of the night where Atsumu calls him late at night, silent sobs emanating in the silence of his room.

They both seemed to find comfort in knowing someone else was suffering.

Was that a wicked way to think, or was that the only way they could find comfort in their pain? Neither one of them complained about it, so they never brought it up.

"When you lose someone

You will learn every answer

To every question

You ever wanted to ask

Except for one

Why?

And it is that question

That will ache in your chest

And make its home in your heart

For the rest of your life."

-tyler kent lenite

Time healed wounds, both of the flesh and of the heart.

Atumu never thought that time did shit, the days and months passing after his brother's wedding never easing the pain, each day just as painful as the next. He thought that he had been trapped and caged into a box, though the only thing that had been keeping him locked in there was himself. Pain was an everyday thing that Atsumu had unfortunately, but surely learned to accept.