Y/N became an avenger not so long ago. Being able to help people and save them was something that she liked. This side of her life was going pretty good until that night where it all went away. A little mistake changed her life completely. Y/N doesn...
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I don't know if it was sadness, or madness rushing over my veins at this moment. I never asked myself the question. What would happen if I ever let Luca see the real me ?
I didn't really think about it that much because I wasn't really sure if I even knew myself. I was lost and I was way too busy hiding myself behind a wall that was already cracked, that I didn't have time to wonder. Maybe I had more darkness in me. Maybe I just needed something to push it out of me.
"People are like stained -glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within".
That's what my mother used to say before she died. She always knew the right words to say whenever I was mad or sad. It almost felt like she knew everything about the subject. Madness, disaster, disappointment, destruction, betrayal.
Sometimes, she gave the impression that she lived every single on of them. That she felt them coming out of the blue. Like if you could never stab her behind her back because she would stab you first.
I think that it's because of her that I knew that Luca was going to do the same. With the little time that I had with her, she helped me build that capacity.
Being able to walk around with your eyes closed knowing that someone is stalking behind you ready to jump on you. I was waiting for Luca to hop on me and destroy me, slowly and painfully with a sharp blade.
I never thought that when the moment came, I would feel different. After thinking about it on the road with Bucky in the car it finally came to me. It was a relief. I was feeling more like myself. Like if the weight that I was carrying around finally fell off my shoulders. Like if the scream that I was trying so hard to keep in finally got out. I was not scared anymore. After punching him in the face, I felt more powerful.
I felt the way that I knew that I was supposed to feel my whole life. I was feeling more like the version of me that I was trying so hard to hide.
I didn't get to say a word before Bucky randomly followed me out of my way of the party. He offered to drive me back to the avengers tower, but I could see it in his eyes. It was more of an obligation coming out of him. I was too drunk to argue with him so I just hopped in.
The drive was quiet and Bucky didn't dare to move a muscle. I think that he was afraid to make the situation awkward for me but little did he know that I didn't care. I was happy that I caught Luca.
Some people think that alcohol is a truth serum and I was grateful that I got to see the truth that he was holding in.
The drive was really quick because I was deep into my thoughts. I kept thinking all the time and I couldn't stop. I was overthinking, sometimes it's helpful in a good way, but sometimes it's annoying.
We got out of the car and he helped me walk into the tower and soon after, my room. I was a mess, drunk, and I was clearly not thinking clearly.
"Would you like to stay here in bed with me until I fall asleep?" I say, slurring my words.
