Y/N became an avenger not so long ago. Being able to help people and save them was something that she liked. This side of her life was going pretty good until that night where it all went away. A little mistake changed her life completely. Y/N doesn...
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It feels oddly weird. To feel that you belong to a place that is forbidden to you.
I heard once that when you can't make people see the light, try to make them feel the heat. Was it what he was trying to do with me ? I couldn't see any light in Luca. I never had the chance to find a glimpse of something in him. He was hiding everything behind a ugly mask, but was it worth it? Having to bury yourself deep down into your soul to protect it. Being obliged to become someone that you were not. Ripping all chances of happiness away from you. We had this wall between us the whole time of our relationship. Something that blocked us from having any connection.
I didn't know him. The real him. All I could do was staring into his eyes. The only window that I had to see trough his cover. Sometimes I could see it. The darkness. Other times there was nothing. Just blank and emptiness.
But right now, as I stare at him in his sleep, peaceful, quiet and calm, I can't help it and wonder. Is this the real him ? The one he showed me tonight. The one that is in front of me right now.
He looked amused to see me. The way that I was acting with him now. The way that I kept myself from acting because I was scared. But what for ?
Him or my true potential ?
Maybe while he was asleep, he put that mask off his face just to breath for a second. To not lose himself deep behind it and to never find himself not being able to take it off.
But I shouldn't be near someone that finds it necessary to wear a mask. They attend to be the ones that stab you in the back.
Drugs are addictive, but they're bad for a reason....
I want to push him away further into his own darkness. Watch him get loss in his own obscurity, but something else is keeping me from doing it. Something that captivates me.
Try to make them feel the heat....
The heat.
His heat.
I could also fell mine pulsi-
Stop. What the fuck I'm I talking about ?
And there it was again. Me wanting to wrap my hands around his neck and choke him.
I wonder if he ever wanted to do the same with me. I don't think so.
Well...maybe just a little...
Okay yeah definitely but I'll keep this one to myself.
It annoyed the shit out of me that he was here yet I didn't particularly want to push him away.......................for now.
I let go of a breath and I start heading towards the door. I need water
I quietly make my way to the kitchen and I take a water bottle out of the fridge.
