1945, My Love Story (Unedited & Raw Version)

Phase X: A Feeling From An Unknown Corner

The moment I reached there. I found a little crowd gathering around Bhavani's house. I got off the car and slowly tore the crowd to go forward to find anyone familiar. There, I saw Bhavani sitting near his wife's lifeless body in a squatting pose with his elbows resting on his knees and hands on his head. He looked absolutely numb and depressed while staring at nothing in particular.

There were few women sobbing at the other side of the idle body. Few were standing, few were sitting and consoling another woman who had buried her face in between her knees binding them inside her arms. She was wearing an ivory Saree and I guessed it was Avni. Seeing her like that, I hurriedly walked towards her but then halted myself midway when I realized everyone in the crowd had their eyes on me. The crowd started murmuring something loudly which made me go two steps backward.

The unfamiliar reaction from the crowd grabbed Avni's attention. She slowly lifted her head and her eyes met mine; everything paused for few seconds. Her eyes had deep sorrow, loneliness, helplessness.  I don't know why but I really felt this urge to go forward and wipe her tears away. But, despite of this wish, I felt paralyzed. When I felt other women behind her looking at me with questioning eyes, I shifted my gaze towards somewhere else. I slowly walked towards Bhavani and knelt on one of my legs. "Bhavani." I placed my left hand on his right shoulder. "I am extremely sorry for your loss. May god bless her soul and let her rest in peace." I glanced at his wife's lying stature. After a small pause and a short glance at Avni, I spoke again. "Bhavani, if you need anything, please, let me know without hesitation." I let out a disheartening sigh looking at Bhavani's non-moving pose. It was almost dark when I decided to leave because my mother was all alone at home. I stood up and went forward to talk to one of the men who was preparing a stretcher kind of bed. "Excuse me?"

The men looked at me with a very innocent expression. "Can you please, give this to Bhavani?" I offered some money.

He looked at the money dumbly and then looked at me blankly.

One of the other men from behind came forward and murmured something to him in their language and then the first man's expression changed to a surprised one. He then looked at me with his palms joined. The second man said. "Thank you, hukum." I shoved the money towards them and the first man took it and joined his palms again looking at me very emotionally. Other men joined their palms at me as well.

"This is only for the last rituals. Please, let me know if there is more requirement." I nodded at them humbly.

They all bowed their heads still with their palms joined. With a reflex, I bowed a little joining my palms too. That little gesture made me feel connected to those people. I slowly turned and walked forward, before tearing the crowd again, I gave another brief glance at Avni who was still staring at me with eyes full of tears; then I left the place.

When I sat inside the car, a tear rolled down my left eye. I didn't realize when, where and how it hit me so hard. I could feel the pain of Avni and her father.

Life, death,– death, life; the words have led for ages

Our thought and consciousness and firmly seemed

Two opposites; but now long-hidden pages

Are opened, liberating truths undreamed.

Life only is, or death is life disguised,–

Life a short death until by life we are surprised. -Shri Aurobindo

.

When I knocked on the door, Bipin opened and bowed at me. I gave him a humble nod and walked towards the stairs. Before I took the steps, I half turned and asked. "Is dinner ready?"