Dear Payton,

Chapter 15

It was 10:07am, I fell asleep after breakfast and I woke up to the sound of a door slamming. Then I heard Payton scream, "Sam, come help me with the groceries." I put my shoes on and ran out of the bedroom. Jeff was standing at the end of the hallway smiling at me. I began to fix my hair when Jeff looked at me and whispered, "You look fine!" I smirked at him softly and then walked over to Payton. "Okay baby, what do you want me to do?" I asked while I hugged her from behind. She smiled and said, "Go outside and get the rest of the groceries while I stay in here and put them away, okay babe?" I kissed her on the cheek and said, "Okay, Jeff and I can do that!" I turned around and motioned Jeff to come outside with me. While we were walking to the car, I saw a man walking the opposite way towards our apartment. He kinda looked familiar, he seemed like he was in his mid 30s, he had blonde hair, greenish, brown eyes, pale skin, and he was walking as if he was frustrated. He began banging on our glass door and I yelled out, "Hey! Hey! Stop it!" I ran towards him and began to yell again, "What the fuck is the matter with you?! Stop it!" All of a sudden, I felt these arms wrap around my mid section and lift me off the ground. I could feel the mans chest flex every time I shuffled to get out of his arms. I began to scream, "Payton! Payton help! Jeff?! Jeff!" The man started pulling me away from the door and his muscles began to crush my ribs as he turned me around towards the car. I kept trying to get out of his grip but he was too strong. He also tried to say something but I was too busy to hear him. Payton came running past us and opened the car door. I said, "Payton? Payton, what's going on?" The man laid me in the backseat and buckled my seat belt. He then ran over to the drivers seat and I realized it was Jeff the entire time. I began to freak out with confusion and it became harder to breathe. I took my seat belt off and laid down on the backseat. Payton turned around and said, "It's gonna be okay baby! We're on the way to the hospital, don't worry! It's all gonna be alright." Payton began to wipe her eyes as if she had been crying. I began to shake with anxiety and all these thoughts started to run through my head. All the sounds around me began to enhance and all I could hear was the sound of the wind and cars driving by. I literally felt like I was going insane. I cupped my hands over my ears hoping to drown out the noises. I felt my body start to weaken and my heart begin to slow down. The last thing I remember from that car ride was Payton saying to Jeff, "I think she went to asleep."

It's 12:37pm and I had just woken up in a hospital bed. I looked over at the window and Payton was talking with Jeff. I stared at her for a few minutes until she finally noticed me and came running into the room. She hugged me tightly and said, "Thank god, you're alright." She broke the hug then pushed my hair out of my face while asking, "How are you feeling?" I took a few deep breaths and tried to get my mind together. It seemed like everything that happened was just another nightmare. It also happened so fast, I could only remember a few details. I hesitated before finally answering, "I'm fine. I feel okay sorta. Can you tell me what happened again?" Payton's head fell to the ground and she sat at the end of my hospital bed. She began to bite her lip to think of the right words to describe what happened. She then looked at me with this fear and worry in her eyes. "You had a panic attack outside the apartment. You came running towards the screen door and kept yelling at it as if someone was there." Payton said while tearing up. It tore me apart to see Payton this way. I don't even know how it's possible to see things that aren't there. All I could think was, what's wrong with me? Payton got up and began to pace back and forth around the room. She started to bite her nails which she did every time she was nervous. "Where's Jeff?" I asked. "I told him he could go back to the apartment once you woke up. To make sure everything's okay and I'd call him when we're ready to go home." Payton said. Payton then sat in the chair next to me and asked, "Baby, how long has this been going on?" My heart began to race and I kept thinking of ways to answer. I kept looking down at my engagement ring and all I could think was, I can't lose her, especially right now. In my mind, I saw everything as a lie. Even though I never told her what has been going on, I knew she trusted me to tell her if it were happening. I wiped the tears from my face and said, "I was never recovered, I guess. In the beginning, I thought I was. The advice the therapist gave me helped a lot and my nightmares became less frequent. I planned on seeing a therapist here in Chicago once we got settled in and everything. I guess I was too late, I let everything over whelm me without realizing it because everything was happening so fast." I began to choke on my words, I felt the tears pour from my eyes, and I let everything out at once. "I kept seeing things, I still don't understand and don't know why. & most the time, deep down I knew they weren't there but I kept seeing them. It terrified me, but everything was going so well, I couldn't let this get in the way anymore. I just shook it off and kept living like everything was okay. We were so happy and so ready. We just found out we had to move about 2 weeks ago. We got engaged while we packed everything in just a couple days. We said goodbye to everyone in one night. & then we arrived here in less then day and then got moved in in less then 24 hours. I thought it was just stress, I could take it. I guess I was wrong and I'm so sorry." I turned over on my side and began to cry into the pillow. Payton climbed into the hospital bed and held me as I cried. She began to whisper, "It's okay baby. It's all gonna be okay. I'm not going anywhere. I love you." I felt her hold me close until I stopped crying. The nurse knocked on the door and Payton said, "Just a minute!" I let go of Payton and she climbed off the bed. I turned back over and wiped my tears on my forearm. Payton kissed me on the forehead and said, "It's probably just the nurse baby. Whatever she asks or does just answer honestly and go along with it, I won't be mad." I shook my head and Payton smiled at me softly. Payton opened the door, I sat up in the bed, and I faked a smile for the nurse. She was very sweet and had a great attitude. She was tall, kinda thick, had very pretty blue eyes, and a small birth mark right above her lip. She came in and checked my blood pressure along with all the monitors. I asked her a few questions on what each one does and I felt like a patient in Grey's Anatomy. Payton sat quietly next to me and every time I glanced at her she was on her phone texting. When the nurse was done checking everything, she pricked my finger, and then left the room. I looked at Payton and asked, "Who you texting?" Payton smiled and said, "Everyone keeps asking if you're okay. I guess Jeff told one of his friends and the word spread across Facebook." I looked over at the bed side table and asked, "Where's my phone at?" Payton reached into her back pocket, handed me my phone, and said, "Your phone kept blowing up while you were passed out for 3 hours so I turned it off, sorry." I laughed and said, "Don't be sorry! I'm just glad my baby knows exactly what to grab in emergency situations." Payton smirked a little then my phone began to vibrate uncontrollably after I turned it on. I had over 15 notifications on Facebook, exactly 12 snapchats, and a ton of text messages. I laid my phone down and said, "Damn, did Jeff broadcast it on the news?" Payton laughed and said, "Nah, I think he posted something on Facebook and Snapchat saying 'Pray for Sam' or something like that." "I sure hope my family didn't see it. The last thing I want is for my dad to freak out." I told Payton. She shrugged her shoulders while look down at her phone and said, "I don't think your dad has Jeff on Facebook, so we're good."
It's 1:46pm and there was a knock at the door and this tall, handsome man walked in. "Hi, I'm Dr. Brown. I'm here to see Sam Wright." He said. Payton stood up, held out her hand, and said, "Hey, nice to meet you Doctor. I'm Payton Smith, I'm her fiancé." Dr. Brown shook her hand and said, "Wow! Congrats, I'm so happy for y'all!" Dr. Brown then shook my hand and said, "You must be Sam Wright." I smiled slightly and said, "Yes sir, that's me!" Dr. Brown was very cute and handsome. He was also pretty tall, thin, had black hair, green eyes, freckles, and black glasses. He had to be between 30 or 35 years old. He was also very kind and made me feel a little better about the entire hospital situation. He sat down and got to know Payton and I for a little bit. He asked us a few basic questions and where we were from. Then the nurse came in and brought him my medical files. He then stopped talking and flipped through the files for about 5 minutes. Every time I looked at Payton, she seems frustrated and busy. That's when my heart began to race again. My anxiety was getting the best of me and all I wanted was to run out and pretend like everyone was fine.