How do you live when nobody wants you to live?|| Wong Yukhei

Run

When he was a child, he used to believe the moon followed him everywhere. Climbing through mountains and sailing through seas just so it could follow him.

How selfish.

No one, nothing , would want to follow him of all people.

______________________

Hours had passed since he last saw Xuxi. The other members were walking around the city as well. Puffs of air escaped his lips, forming little white clouds in front of his face.

His steps resonated on the pavement. His eyes frantically looked for someone they couldn't find. His lips drew the same shape over and over again. His vocal cords screamed the same name once, twice until they couldn't do it anymore.

Crumbling like sand crumbles when pressed, his knees touched the ground, his hands pressed his eyes, and he cried. Pained tears soaked his cheeks as he whispered the name one more time.

Just one more time in case he hears, Yangyang thought.

"Xuxi"

It was quiet, so uncommon for the usual buzzing of the city. It was quiet, so rare for the usually loud boy. It was quiet.

_________________________

Yangyang had seen the exact moment in which Xuxi had changed.

One second they were sitting together in the living room, the movie playing in front of them and Xuxi's chuckles as a background melody.

The next, the phone pinged.

Xuxi moved, picked the device and suddenly, his eyes were filled with terror. His body went stiff. His mouth turned downward. His skin became pale. A slight shake took over his hands, and Yangayang could swear Xuxi had spent hours sitting there, just reading the message.

In reality, it was only a few minutes and, before he knew it, Xuxi was running out the door.

Kun's scream was the only thing he heard before he, too, was running. Sprinting and reaching for a hand that was slowly, so slowly yet so fast, getting away from him.

He heard footsteps coming from behind, he heard the other member's desperate cries. But he heard footsteps in front of him as well, he heard heartbreaking sobs coming from the one running in front of him, and he was tired.

He was tired of running away from Xuxi, tired of running away from the pain, tired of hearing pained sobs at night, tired of seeing Xuxi's exhausted posture, tired of not doing anything .

He kept running.

But Xuxi's legs were faster. His desperation was more. His need to run away, to just escape , was stronger, so much bigger than Yangyang, and he kept running.

Following Xuxi through the streets of Seoul, screaming his name, but Xuxi crossed the street, and he was gone. Swallowed by the lightless night until his footsteps could no longer be heard.

A sigh escaped his lips as his knees sunk to the ground. A whisper broke through with the name of the boy that was now gone. A few tears soaked his cheeks, his hands, they fell on the ground while he stood up and walked back home.

Tired of running.

______________________

Xuxi ran, ran as fast as he could, as fast as his burning legs would allow him to and when the door of the studio appeared in front of him, and his shaky hands opened it, he collapsed.