"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Aprielle Castellano was determined to commit suicide by jumping off the bridge, letting herself drown, and die with her lungs filled with water-well, not until this blue-haired gu...
trigger warning: blasphemous opinions regarding Christian beliefs. please be reminded that the character's opinions does not necessarily reflect the writer's views and are written for the sake of the character's personality and perspectives.
reader discretion is advised.
good choices // astrid s 01:43 ━━━━●───── 03:36 ⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılı
“i really wanna make good choices but i keep messing up over and over and some days, i swear it's like trouble keeps calling my name, sane. ”
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12 | choices and conspirations
I FELT EVERY stroke of the lady's hand as she dyed my hair with the said color. Napatingin ako sa salamin at napatulala. Funny how I ended up in this situation after that dark night. It was quite unexpected because I didn't expect to be still alive after literally attempting to kill myself.
Although, every time the memories of that night flashes quickly into the back of my mind, it just suddenly feels like . . . I didn't deserve to live.
I'm a wreck, after all.
I should've been disposed along with my sins, along with all the shattered pieces of my soul. I didn't even had an inkling as to how Charcoal made me change my mind; how I chose to give life a second chance.
And I wouldn't have met all of them if I didn't.
That was the moment I realized that every choice and decision, big or small, matters. A little mistake of deciding what to choose may cause a butterfly effect, wreaking total havoc to your own life.
But there's also something else I realized which sits on the other side of the spectrum of my realizations. We do have the power to choose and control our lives, but there are just cases where options are limited, leaving you with no choice.
Choices.
It's such an ironic term once you connect it to life's philosophy. Choices just differs from person to person. There's a very thin line between choices and conspirations; sometimes, you couldn't even recognize if you chose to be in that situation willingly or if the universe was bored and conspired to force you in that situation.
Was I bound to have such a traumatic experience?
I don't know.
Did life force me into this hellhole or was it because it was my choice to do so?
