Beautiful Darkness: A Psychopath

Chapter 6

Tris

Everything seems to be revealing itself to me one by one after I started to question my own diagnosis.

It is almost dawn right now and my feet don't feel like leaving this place. I think I just found the only place where I could feel the littlest hint of peace.

Iniikot ko lang ang paningin ko sa paligid nang maramdaman ko ang pag-upo ng isang tao sa tabi ko. I was amazed... because the moment I looked at him, I knew I was feeling something. I was feeling something that a psychopath would never be capable of feeling.

Dream came...

He sat next to me and casually looked at the water.

"What happened to you?" I asked him and that's when he looked at me softly.

"Tell me what happened to you first..." he asked me the same question and when I got the feeling that he doesn't wanna tell me anything I just avoided his eyes and looked ahead of us.

"Why did you leave? Why did you teach me how to feel happiness then suddenly leave? I got used to being with you because that's what you taught me but why did you suddenly disappear?" I asked, calmed.

Huminga ako ng malalim nang matapos ko ilabas ang mga tanong na siyang kanina pa gustong lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I'm sorry..."

I smirked like I knew that was what he was gonna say.

"When I was fifteen years old... I was waiting for my parents outside our school while it was raining. I was getting bullied because no one ever came for me whenever there's a parent meeting. Wala daw akong magulang... bago 'yung araw na'yon nagmakaawa ako sa kanila na kahit isang beses lang pumunta sila. Nag-iwan pa ako ng sulat sa kanila bago ako umalis ng bahay nung araw na 'yon dahil ayoko silang gisingin, alam ko naman magagalit lang sila saakin," I stopped for a second to catch my breath because I was trying to suppress my tears.

"Basang basa na ako sa ulan... 'yung mga teachers na nadoon pinapapasok na ako, okay lang daw kung walang parent na umatend kung wala talagang available. Available naman 'yung mga magulang ko e... ayaw lang talaga nilang pumunta," I smiled the pain that I'm feeling right now when I looked at him.

I can see the pity in his eyes that made me smile even more.

I can't believe I'm letting someone see me like this.

"Sa tingin ko nga 'yung araw na'yon nagsimulang isa-isang mawala lahat ng kakayahan ko na makaramdam. Nawalan ako ng kakayahan makaramdam ng sakit nu'n dahil naramdaman ko na yata lahat matapos kong marealize na... hindi na talaga sila dadating," I wiped the lone tear that got out from my left eyes.

"I raised my family, you know?" I continued and he was just looking at me, listening.

"Simula nang mamulat ako sa buhay sa eded na lima... nagtatrabaho na ako para may maibigay na pandagdag sa makakakain namin. Napakabata ko pa... habang pinapanood ko 'yung mga bata na kaedad kong naglalaro, nagbubuhat ako ng mga kahoy para may maipanggatong 'yung mga kapitbahay namin," I sobbed.

Inaalala ko lang kung ano ba 'yung naging kasalanan ko? Ang nasa isip ko... ginawa ko naman lahat, naging mabuting anak ako sa kanila para mapansin nila ako kahit na isang beses lang. Bakit kailangan kong maghirap ng ganito ngayon?

"Ayoko lang maiwan... pinoprotektahan ko lang 'yung sarili ko kaya lahat ng tao sa paligid ko itinataboy ko. Ayoko nang masaktan ulit ng sobra..."

I looked back at Dream again and saw him feeling guilty.

"I know you can overcome it all... you just have to be with someone who truly cares for you, or even none. Just believe in yourself, love yourself so you can live in peace," he said in his soft voice while looking softly at me.