Under The Saddle (Horse Story)

f o u r // caught by the past

For days I'd avoided the stable block like the plague. Banging and squealing echoed around the property for the first few days, but the mare seemed to have settled in by the time Friday came around. I'd taken up the position of cook for the neighbors and workers that came and went every day, helping us restore the property. It kept me away from that horse and anything that reminded me of mom. 

This property seemed to be loved by every person that lived round here, and I quickly grew to know them all by names. I still hadn't met Violet's daughter, who was away on some sort of 'pony camp', but I met a few other kids my age, and Troy came to help a few times.

I wiped the last bowl dry, sliding it into the empty pantry. I swiped a stray hair out of my face, watching out the window as a few men heaved a pile of wood into the large dump bin. Clouds of dust billowed up as it dropped, the hot breeze swirling it around until it wasn't visible. 

Sick of being in the kitchen, I pulled off my apron and headed outside. It was all go, shouting and laughter coming from the far paddocks and large barn. Dad was hammering a few planks onto a fence post, the broken remnants of the previous fence lying in a large pile behind him. 

A high-pitched whinny caught my attention, a combination of distress and fear. Somehow, after all these years, the sound had stuck in my head. I could tell it's emotion. Maybe because of my years around horses, maybe because of mom's accident, and the blood-curling cry Phoenix had let out as they lay in that water jump on that dreaded day.

There was no way to help Phoenix. He fell, broke his leg. It wasn't fixable. But this scared mare could be fixed, all she needed was a chance.

A voice in my head willed me not to go near that animal. It would kill me. I wasn't mom, and I never would be. I didn't have the same passion and natural way with animals as her. I couldn't let that horse live like that. The longer it stayed there scared and frightened, the more traumatized it'd be. She'd just end up back in that slaughter house.

My hands curled into fists as I slowly walked down that brick path, every step my nails pressed tighter into my palm. I reached the stables, and my hand hovered over the handle of the large door for a moment, thousands of reasons to not enter rushing through my head. I gritted my teeth in determination, pulling the door open slowly as light streamed down the dark hallway.

My footsteps echoed hollowly down the empty hallway. Every step sent goosebumps up my arms. The horse immediately stopped panicking, her jagged breaths the only sound as she pressed herself against the back wall of the stable. 

"Hey. I'm not here to hurt you." I whispered, my voice choked as I inched closer to the stall. I paused, flashbacks flooding into my mind.

"Take her home, she can't stay here!" A voice screamed as hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me up. 

"Gramma, where's Mommy?" I whimpered, a tear dropping onto her shoulder.

"Let's get you home. Mommy will be okay." My grandmother whispered, stroking my cheek as she rushed away from the crowds. 

Ambulance sirens rang out loudly, voices shouted and screamed, the loudspeaker crackled to life, and horses whinnied. A familiar horse whinnied loudly, the sound piercing my ears. It was distressed, scared.

"'Nix is calling to me. Phoenix needs me." I cried, wriggling from her grasp and falling to the ground.

I heard nothing but sounds, no voices, nothing, just sounds, muffled as though we were underwater. People ran, horses whinnied, voices called, sirens screamed. Standing out was the familiar screaming of Phoenix. I covered my ears, trying to get rid of the deafening echoes.