This isn't Ned, is it? - Peter Parker Wrong Number Fanfic

if u met spiderman

Safe to say, any sane person in Peter Parker's shoes would be freaking out.

But no, he wasn't worrying about how the avengers want his secret identity, or how he had almost been hit by an arrow, for Loki's sake. He was concerned over far more trivial things.

"You almost hit me, Mr Hawkeye Sir!"

Now... should he have said Mr Hawkeye? Mr Barton? Or- did the assassin prefer Mr Eye?! Peter had no way of knowing, and his childish mind found that to be the topic of most distress.

Peter
oi gnat
if u met spiderman
and wanted to be polite
wood u call him mr man

There. That shouldn't give Gnat any hints as to his identity, as Spiderman wouldn't care to ask that sort of question.

Gnat
Where did this come from?

Peter
wanna no how 2 properly thank him if he saved me

Gnat
You don't strike me as one to care
Not by your texting at least
I'd just call him Spiderman

Peter
so youd go with mr spiderman?

Gnat
Just Spiderman.
Maybe a bit of 'spiderboy' and 'spiderling' to annoy him

Peter
but hes a man?
some old guy in a suit
no doubt

Gnat
Don't believe everything you hear
I heard him pretty recently
He sounds like a high schooler

Peter's eyes widened. He'd seen Gnat recently? ... in person?

He scanned through his memory, trying to remember who he saw out on patrol that day. Females, specifically. He flipped through voices he'd heard, of criminals and of victims. He wasn't sure of any of them and he thought to give up. But then...

His jaw dropped as he stopped where he stood, interrupting his pacing

There's no way...

He went to text Ned, then remembered he didn't have the boy's number. Plan B:

Peterman
mj

MJ
sup loser

Peterman
i need neds number