Traumatic Love, Eternal Love

Chapter 1

[Cecilia's Point of View]

I had three boyfriends, and all three tore my heart to thousands and millions. Over the years, as I live with a tattered heart, I swore to myself to never let my guard down again to any other person. Thus, I built up my invisible walls that keep intruders away.

I'm content with my life working at the cafe for almost 2 years. I have close friends here. Also, my childhood friend works at the same cafe. We reunited when I moved here in this city. Rynuel, my childhood friend, knows that I've had 3 exes. Although not much about the last, he knows enough about the first two exes. He also knows about this one guy that constantly pestered me for the last 6 months. I said I was contented, but aghh! Contented except with this guy. I'll just call him... guy X. 

This guy X has been courting me this past half year. Isn't it sweet when a guy brings you flowers? Yes! Yes, maybe for many but not for me. Whenever I see guy X bringing me flowers, I can only remember my first ex. It was the month of love, and for weeks I battled myself thinking about what to give my then future first ex, until I decided to simply give him a red rose on Feb. 14. Badump, badump! I could hear my heart shout his name, but my lips just quivered as I nervously gave him the red rose. Then my heart screamed as he accepted the rose grasped by his beautiful hands. My mouth was agape when I saw him drop it to the ground only to trample it underneath his football shoes. I could recall it vividly like it's yesterday, when he pierced my heart with a knife of words, as he said, "Let's end this."

Yes, my heart screamed... Even now as I look at guy X's flowers for me, my heart screams.

I sharpen my eyes against guy X. Rynuel quickly noticed this slight change in my expression, and he went to the guy in front of me. "Bro, we're still working. Maybe you could just give those flowers some other time or to another lady?" Thankfully, guy X left me alone. 

Oops, I jinxed it. He came to the cafe again tomorrow.

This time, he went to the cafe after my working hours. With a smile, his feet move toward me, while unbeknownst to me, mine are backing away. Guy X yelled my name, "Cecilia! I got two movie tickets for us." Ironically, I saw from the ticket that the movie he's wanting me to watch is entitled, "My Exes and Whys". He asked me,"Would you like to watch a movie with me?" 'Huh?? Are you trying to get on my nerves on purpose? Of course, no!' I protest in my heart as my lips fight as they press against each other. My mind is blank, like a whiteboard that has its black stains erased. Thankfully again, my childhood friend came to my rescue. Rynuel told guy X, "Hey, buddy, Cecilia is tired, okay. And didn't you just went here yesterday?" 

Yes, guy X, I'm so tired of the traumas you keep playing "repeat" in my head! I'm thinking to myself as they bicker and chatter between themselves. After around 8 minutes, I deeply sighed in relief as guy X went away.

"A-are you alright, Cess?" Rynuel looked at me with an expression tainted with worry. My fluttering eyelids and fainting body couldn't reply much except with a blatant white lie, "I'm okay."  Or perhaps, I just want to believe I'm okay... That at least it's better now.

"You know, you're not. How about... let's just go inside the car, I'll drive you home?" Rynuel told me. I just said, "Okay."

He and I silently drove back to my home where no one awaits me. No one, not a mom that would worry for me, not a dad that would scold me, not a sibling that would nag me. I have... such no one. Only the silence awaited me as I entered my home. Home?

I collapsed on the sofa near the door. What a tiring week.

I woke up on my bed, feeling like I was burning. Rynuel entered my room with a bowl of warm soup, a thermometer, and a wet cloth. I couldn't lift my upper body to sit, aghh. "I'm here, Cess, I'm here," Rynuel comforted me as he placed the bowl of soup on a table beside my bed. As he helped me in sitting, (and he persistently and patiently helped me), he asked, "How are you feeling?" I weakly said, "Awful."

I feel really warm, like, soothingly but still uncomfortably warm, especially in my face.

Tears rolled down my eyes.

I don't know what problem he had, but Rynuel looked at me with a sorrowful look. I open my mouth as he feeds me the soup. Gulp. Then his right hand suddenly approached my eyes.

Huh? A tear, he wiped it away. I scrunched my face and grumpily complained, "Hot! This soup, why is it so hot!?" With an empathic smile, he just said, "Okay, okay, I know." 

Why is your face doubtful after you said that? Anyway, I'm too tired to think of such things. Rynuel blew every spoon of soup before feeding it to me, till the bowl got empty. I just hung my head down. I couldn't think of anything to say but these three words quietly escaped my mouth, "Rynuel, thank you."

Rynuel said something as he helped me get back to sleeping on the bed. It's just that... I couldn't hear it. The last thing I remembered before going to sleep again was that I looked at the thermometer beside me and saw 40○ C.

*Heavy breathing*

~ ~ ~

Two days passed and I feel strong and well again. Rynuel is still in my house even after I told him, dozens of times, to go home. How stubborn. He's so patient and kind with me. I like his love.

We talked deeply.