To My Beloved Brother Ryan Emmanuel M. Cayabyab,
I'd be honest right this very moment more than ever.
Everytime I write for you, my chest warms up. Sometimes... so do my face and ears. I hope that I can wish for us to be more than friends... "that kind" of more than friends, but sadly, I cannot. Do you know what I mean? If all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say?
I...
....
I miss you.
But I cower in front of you. Sometimes I'd be the "just do it" kind of person and greet you, but sometimes I'd be shy and overthink.
So...
If I will be with you at church gatherings or at group gatherings, I'm happy and content just being at the same place where you at.
From how I see it, you are uncomfortable being alone with me. I do not understand. But... okay. I still have Mysterious Joy.
I may as well have avoided you back then and if ever I do it again... don't be hard on yourself. Don't take it out on me too. It would be just me overthinking. My mind changes in confusion, you see. You know my illness. Let's pray that I heal. Let's heal. Let's heal from the heartaches, traumas, and pains that brought us harm. Through the One God that unites us as brothers in one spirit.
...
I always say, "Brother." Brother here and brother there, brother referring to you everywhere. Because that's the closest I can be to you, and I feel close to you even if I just think or say that we're brothers, even if not by blood.
"If I couldn't make you my husband to make you my family... then at least we can and are family as brothers," That's what I think.
In this story, I envisioned that I am Cecilia, and you are my Ruie. Do you agree? Is it alright with you?
This is my own story anyway.
Too much bittersweet will make my tongue numb. So let's stop here... If all it is is eight letter why is it so hard to say?
Kuya Ry... You know that "I LOVE YOU".
Although I must not (cannot) love you as lovers do. I love you as brothers do! Not just any brother... but me, as your brother, my love as Christ commanded, for you.
I hope you feel even a little more special this Christmas and everyday.
I'm always here, praying for you.
Emmanuel: God is with Us
Point of view talaga ni Lord 'yan. Ginawa ko lang na theme song natin. Why? It somehow has the lyrics of what I want to say to you. And it has something to do with connecting us and of our faith.
....
Okay, time for tidbits of poetry.
"Kuya Ry, Why?!"
Kuya Ry... Why, why, why???
Bakit labis kitang mahal kuya Ry?
Why?
"Emmanuel, Fell"
Isang lalaking tanda ng presensya ng Diyos ang hulog ng langit at pumarito sa mundo.
Ikaw, dinadala mo ang pangalang iyon. Pakaingatan mo; isabuhay mo.
Saludo ako sa iyo.
"Sa Diyos Ka"
Kung feeling mo nag-iisa ka, SA DIYOS KA tumingin; may kasama ka.
Kung feeling mo malungkot ka, SA DIYOS KA manalangin; pasasayahin ka Niya.
Kung feeling mo mabigat ang mga kasalanan mo at hindi ka karapatdapat, SA DIYOS KA humingi ng tawad; patatawarin at iaangat ka Niya.
Kung feeling mo heartbroken ka o walang nagmamahal sa'yo, SA DIYOS KA magpunta; ipararamdam Niyang mahal na mahal ka Niya.
Kung pressured at stressed ka, SA DIYOS KA magpahinga; makatatagpo ka ng mainam na pahinga.
Kung wala ka nang maintindihan, SA DIYOS KA kumapit; bibigyan ka pa rin Niya ng mahiwagang kaligayahan (mysterious joy), kahit ano man ang kalagayan mo.
Kung sa tingin mo hindi mo kaya, SA DIYOS KA humingi ng tulong (+ maaari ring sa mapagkakatiwalaan mo); bibigyan ka Niya ng lakas at saklolo.
Kung gusto mo na talagang umiyak, SA DIYOS KA umiyak; babalutan ka Niya ng Kanyang mga pakpak.
Tandaan mo kuya Ry, SA DIYOS KA.
Wag ka nang lilihis mula sa Kanya.
Labyu!
YOU ARE READING
Traumatic Love, Eternal Love
Storie brevi"Cecilia", the meaning of this name is "blind". "Ruie", the meaning of this name is "kind". Cecilia had 3 exes that crushed her heart into countless pieces. As a survival instinct, she built up "walls" to protect herself. Ruie, Cecilia's childhood f...
