After The Rain Komahina Fanfic

Hajime's Dispair

Nagito woke early. He was dressed and ready to go before the sunrise. He ignored Mikan's constant protests that he was not ready yet. It has been nearly a week, and while Fuyuhiko had been giving him constant updates, he needed to see for himself. Besides, this is the longest time that they have been apart since the simulation. It was like a giant hole had opened up in the universe, and his entire world was being sucked into it. Without Hajime in his life, he had no distraction from his obsessions. One look around the hospital room could confirm that. Stacks of medicine cups lined the food tray. Each with exactly ten. In front of them were stacks of plastic cups, also each with exactly ten. Two perfect rows of five. Written in perfect printing on each and every cup was one word, Hope.
Nagito ran his fingers through his hair. Then grabbing the brush from the bedside table, walked into the bathroom to use the mirror. He heard the door open and Mikan's small footsteps on the tile floor.
"Nagito?" She called out.
"I'm in the bathroom." He said annoyed.
"Oh....I..it's okay, I'll w...wait." She replied.
Nagito rolled his eyes. Why can't she take a damn hint? "I'm fine. Last time I checked I could do this on my own." He snapped.
He emerged from the bathroom a minute later. He looked over to her, shaking his head. "Time for my meds?" He sighed. "I feel fine, Can't I just skip today?" He said as sweetly as he could.
"Y...you f...feel...better because of the medication." She said. She moved to him, and straightened the collar of his coat. Frowning slightly at his usual white t-shirt. "You really want t...to w..wear that?"
Nagito looked down at his clothes. "Hajime loves this shirt." He said, sounding just a little offended.
She looked at him smiling. "Y...you sss...sound like you're g...going on a f...first date."
"You really wouldn't understand." He said quietly. "I want to be as...normal as possible for his sake." He flopped down in the chair and sighed. "But I feel like the world is collapsing in on itself." He put his head in his hands. "If Izuru sees me like this, it will be a disaster." He looked up at her, a frightened look on his face. "I may lose Hajime forever."
Why am I confiding in her, of all people? Damn, I'm really desperate.
"Y...you probably d...don't want to hear this fr..from me right now" Mikan said timidly. "B...but if I know anything about Hajime, it's t..that h..he loves you." Nagito looked up at her, and sank back into the chair.
"I know that." He said with a smile. "It's Izuru that I'm worried about." His hands were shaking and he felt like he was going to pass out. Not now, not now, not now....what the hell am I going to do? Nagito sat silently holding his head in his hands, rocking back and forth to try and calm his nerves. Mikan stood in front of him, patting his shoulder hesitantly. He looked up at her, smiled, then pushed her aside as he got up to run to the bathroom. He threw up what little was in his stomach from dinner last night. He was still retching when he heard Fuyuhiko walk into the room.
"Where is he?" He asked loudly. Mikan pointed silently at the bathroom.
"H....he st...still needs t..to take his m...meds." She walked closer to him and whispered "I don't think he's ready for this."
"I know, but I'm not going to try telling him that." He said quietly. "He's driving himself crazy." He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the stacks of cups. "This is worse than I have ever seen him."
"W..what about H..Ha...Hajime" Mikan asked quietly, keeping her eyes on the bathroom door as she spoke. "Does h..he sss...seem different?"
Fuyuhiko shrugged. "I don't know." He said rubbing the back of his neck. "He seems normal enough, for someone who is locked away and chained to a wall, anyway." He looked down at his fingers. "He asks about Nagito everyday. But, how am I supposed know who I'm talking to?"
Nagito stumbled out of the bathroom, and moved quickly to the food tray. He lifted the lid of his breakfast and began eating as quickly as he could.
"Whoa..." Fuyuhiko said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Slow down. You don't want it coming back up again."
Nagito looked up at him, blushing. Then flopped back down into the chair again. Without warning, he started crying. Fuyuhiko quickly went in to hug him. "Hey, now." He whispered softly in his ear. "If you don't think you're ready, it's fine."
"No!" Nagito yelled through the tears. "I need to see him." He said, wiping his eyes. "I'm just afraid of hurting him." He looked at Mikan's shocked face and laughed. "My good luck streak was bound to end sometime, I just wished that it would not turn on Hajime." He took the pill cup from her and dropped the contents into his mouth, then grabbed the orange juice from the table and drank it. "I was neglecting my rituals. It put us both in danger." He turned to look Fuyuhiko in the eyes. "If I was really truthful, my luck started turning bad as soon as Izuru appeared." He wasn't even blinking, and his words spilled from his mouth so fast it was hard to hear all of them. "Hajime convinced me that it was good luck. But he was wrong, and instead of just leaving, I was weak." He looked away for a second. "I was so stupid to think that it was even possible."
"What are you talking about?" Fuyuhiko asked with both fear and concern evident in his voice.
"As soon as he is safe, I am going to leave." He said, eyes wildly scanning the room. "I owe him that much." Fuyuhiko looked past him to Mikan, silently asking her to help.
          "What do you mean?" Fuyuhiko asked.
          "Watching me fall apart. It's killing him." Nagito said flatly.  "He deserves better. I need to stop being selfish."  Fuyuhiko just sat there, trying to think of the right thing to say. 
           "You would be even more selfish if you did that." Mikan said. Both of them just stared at her. "Hajime needs you more now than he has ever needed anyone."  She moved to where Nagito was sitting and crouched down so she could look him in the eyes.  "How do you think he has lasted as long as he has?" Nagito just looked at her, amazed at how poised she was.
          She hasn't stuttered even once. She is making a lot of sense too.
          "I didn't think of that." He said quietly.  He ate the rest of his breakfast in silence. Then stood and smiled at Fuyuhiko. "I guess, let's get this over with." He sighed. 
            "You sure you're ready for this?" Fuyuhiko asked.  Nagito nodded. "Okay then, we're off to see the wizard."
             They left the hospital and walked to the bridge to central island in silence.  Once at the bridge, Nagito looked over to Fuyuhiko. "Where are we going?"
         "To the super secret prison." Fuyuhiko said with a smile.
         "It's on Central Island?" Nagito said puzzled.
         "Nekumaru found it a while ago." Fuyuhiko said quietly. "Never thought we would find a use for it." He looked at Nagito still fussing with his coat and t-shirt. "Good thing we found it though because they wanted to put him in the Funhouse." He gave a little nervous laugh, turning as he noticed that Nagito had stopped walking, and was looking sadder than ever. "It's a joke, we would never put him there." He said suddenly, realizing what he had implied. "He would never try that anyway, would he?"
"He almost tried the first time." Nagito said solemnly. "Chiaki talked him out of it."
          "Damn, Nagito." Fuyuhiko said. "I'm so sorry." He shoved his hands in his front pants pockets and looked down at his shoes.
           "It wasn't really him either, we kinda figured." He said. still not showing any emotion. "Because he remembers having the thought of doing it, and then found himself in front of the Final Dead Room door."  He started walking down the bridge again. "He only remembered part of the conversation with Chiaki. So we are thinking that Izuru was trying to protect him once again."
         "Wait. He was there during the simulation too?" Fuyuhiko said confused.
          "Yeah, he was kind of half integrated into Hajime's personality in there."  Nagito stopped, waiting for Fuyuhiko to catch up to him.  "Why am I so nervous about this?" He asked more to himself, than Fuyuhiko.
           "Well, the dude did try to kill you."  Fuyuhiko said quietly. Nagito laughed, and nodded his head.
          "It's more than that." He said with a smile.  "Do you really think I'm afraid of dying?"
Fuyuhiko smiled. "Probably not."
Before he knew it, Nagito noticed that they had reached the other side of the bridge. He followed Fuyuhiko to Jabberwock park. Nagito had gone silent, nervously fiddling with the sleeves of his coat. He could feel that Hajime was close, but where was he? He scanned the area for buildings or structures that he had not noticed before, but saw nothing. He looked at Fuyuhiko, puzzled. He was standing next to the statue, near where the snake tale was.
"You're gonna want to stand here with me." He said quietly. "I only stays open for a few seconds." Nagito quickly moved next to Fuyuhiko. He watched in amazement as he reached up and twisted the snakes tail. A narrow door slid open, revealing a even narrower staircase.
He followed Fuyuhiko down three stories. Something about this was familiar. He had moments like this a lot. It was scary the things he had forgotten. Scary because he did not want to wake up one day and not remember Hajime.
They reached the bottom of the staircase. Nagito felt nauseous once again. He swallowed hard when he saw Nekumaru sitting in a chair that looked too small to hold his bulky frame. He was sitting next to a heavy iron door. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, bracing his feet on the floor, his head resting on the wall against the wall behind him.
Nekumaru turned his head, his eyes half opened. "Ah ...glad you're here." He said as quiet as he could, which for Nekumaru was not quiet at all. His voice ripped into Nagito's head like nails on a chalkboard. "It's been a long night." He said never once looking at Nagito.
"Nightmares again?" Fuyuhiko asked.
Nekumaru nodded. "He started charging the door at about 1:30 in the morning." He said rubbing his eyes. "That went on for two hours until he finally stopped." He looked over to Nagito for the first time now. "I decided to go in to make sure he was alright." He stretched his arms over his head. "He was bleeding from a new wound on his forehead." He looked back to Fuyuhiko. "Do you really want the full report right now?" He asked. His eyes returning to Nagito's tired face.
"Actually, I'd really like to know what I'm walking into." Nagito looked into the small window to see Hajime sleeping on a small cot.
"I removed the chains from his wrists." He said ignoring Nagito. "He was sounding like himself, so I didn't think he would be a problem."
"Didn't I tell you that Izuru is extremely good at masking." Nagito turned to look at Nekumaru. "Why did you want all of the information from me if you were just going to ignore me?"
Fuyuhiko stepped between the two of them. "It's okay." He said, putting a comforting hand on Nagito's shoulder. "Let's hear him out." He then turned to Nekumaru. "So you went in to check on him?"
         "Yeah, I figured he had passed out, but when I knelt down to check his pulse he tried attacking me." He looked at Nagito. "So he is chained up again."
         "How long has he been out?" Nagito asked, Still looking through the window.
        "Four or five hours."  Nekumaru said looking at the full food tray. "He's probably pretty hungry" 
       Nagito took the tray, and looked at Fuyuhiko. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." He said with a small smile.
          "Need a little something to give you courage?" He said reaching into his jacket. He had the bottle half way out when Nagito shoved his hand away.
            "Not on your life." He said shaking his head. "That's what got us into this mess."  He laughed. "Why would you have that this early in the morning anyway"
          "You know, in case of emergency." He said with a smirk. 
            Nekumaru moved to unlock the door. It creaked loudly as it opened. Hajime stirred on his little cot at the noise.  Nagito hurried in as  fast as he could. The thought of talking to Hajime again after such a long time apart, making him feel a little giddy.  
         Hajime sat up in bed, still facing the wall. His right arm was bruised at the wrist. The shackles were digging in, and Nagito could see the beginning of a sore forming.  Nagito stopped half way to the bed, not sure of what to expect. 
        Fuyuhiko walked past him.  "Hard night?" He said placing a hand on Hajime's shoulder. "I brought you a little something."  He said with a smile.
        Nagito felt the weight of the food tray.  His heart was pounding like crazy as Hajime turned to look at Fuyuhiko.  In an instant, his eyes lit up  when he saw Nagito standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
       "Ko!" Hajime smiled. And tried to get to his feet but the chain on his arm would not allow it. He looked at Fuyuhiko, pleading. "Please take it off." He begged. 
          Nagito did not need any more encouragement than that he rushed to Hajime almost throwing the food tray in the process. Fuyuhiko grabbed it just before it left Nagito's hands. "Oh my god, Hin...I have missed you so much!" He said wrapping his arms around Hajime burying his head into his shoulder. "You've gotten thinner." He whispered in his ear. Nagito's whole body was shaking. He wanted nothing more than to feel both of Hajime's arms around him. "Please, Fuyuhiko, take the shackle off." He said quietly.
       Fuyuhiko looked between the two of them and shrugged. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and approached Hajime tentatively. He didn't feel good about keeping him chained up like this, but he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He unlocked the cuff around Hajime's wrist and stood back respecting their space.
          As soon as his wrist was free Hajime reached up and started choking Nagito as hard as he could.  Nagito's eyes were wide and he was gasping for air, clawing with both hands at the hands around his throat. 
          "Nagito!" Fuyuhiko screamed,  as he raced to help.  With a slap of one hand, he was pushed back. Feeling that he needed backup he went to the iron door and pounded on it as hard as he could. Nekumaru flung the door open.  Izuru let go of him immediately, and Nagito could tell by the confused look in his eyes that it was Hajime again. 
       Nagito was now sitting on the floor, coughing. Hajime reached for him, and he backed away instinctively. Feeling guilty about it he looked up at him again. In an instant, Izuru was back. Nagito backed up agian confusion covering his entire face.
       "We've been working on this little trick for you." Izuru said smiling. "Are you not impressed?" Nagito looked at him, trying to piece together what the hell is going on.
           "Why would he do that to me?" Nagito asked.
           "Little Mouse has given up on you." Izuru laughed. 
            "I won't believe it until he tells me himself."  Nagito whispered.
         "Try and  bring him out, then." Izuru said smiling.
          Nagito looked at Izuru hesitantly. He reached up and ran a finger along Hajime's collar bone. Moving slowly from there to his lips. His hand was shaking so bad at this point he knew that it would be a miracle if Hajime actually recognized what he was doing.  Izuru closed his eyes, and Nagito leaned in and kissed the nape of Hajime's neck. Keeping the fingers of his left hand resting softly on Hajime's lower lip.  He heard Hajime gasp, and he raised his head to see those beautiful green eyes staring back at him.