After The Rain Komahina Fanfic

Remembering The Past

Multiple Trigger Warnings
Abuse
Murder
Suicide
Rape
Self Harm
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

       Nagito sat in the chair reading. Though if he were asked what it was he was reading, he would not be able to give an answer. His attention was on the sleeping boy on the bed next to him. It took a total of two and a half hours for him to calm down, and he just fell asleep in Nagito's arms.  Hajime was being traumatized by the other being living inside of his body and mind. How do I fight something like that? Nagito thought as he stood and reached out a hand to touch Hajime's cheek.  "I really do love you." He whispered.  "Before we met, I was so eager to die."  Nagito closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he could finally find a way to help Hajime.  He Sat on the floor next to the bed, just watching him sleep.
       Hajime stirred slightly, calling out from his dream. "Where is this?" He asked no one in particular.  Nagito could tell by the trembling in his voice that he was having a nightmare.  He did not want to wake him, so he  carefully slipped off his shoes and climbed into the bed. He put his head on Hajime's shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't let anyone hurt you. " he said softly into Hajime's ear.
         For a few minutes, it seemed as if it were working.  Hajime's breathing had returned to normal. But then a sudden scream erupted from Hajime as he sat straight up in bed. Nagito sat up with him, instinctively wrapping his arms around Hajime's body. "It's just a dream. You're safe." Nagito whispered. At first Hajime was receptive to the comfort, but then suddenly broke away from the embrace.
            "I don't want to hurt you." He said quietly. His eyes cast downward. 
             "You don't have to worry about that." Nagito said with a smile.  A bit of confusion rising in his voice.  "My luck, remember?" He was trying to be comforting, but a bit of true concern was evident in his voice.
            Hajime shivered, shrinking away from Nagito's inviting touch.  "Did you meet him before you met me?" He was staring straight into Nagito's grey eyes. 
             "I met him once," he lied. "I told you about it, he shot me"  Hajime was deep in thought. "What is it?" Nagito said as he placed his hand over Hajime's. 
          "The dream seemed too real...." His eyes filled with tears. "You were in a very dark place, bound by the neck." He said quietly. Nagito could feel his hands shaking.  "When I went to you, I wanted to free you....in here" he tapped his temples with one index finger.  "But the body kept doing things I could never imagining myself doing."  He swallowed hard, and shook his head as if trying to make the images go away. "It had to be Izuru. "
           "But, you said it yourself,  it was only a dream."  Nagito was also shaking at this point. That selfish bastard had to just show him, didn't he.  "Even if it wasn't," he said with a confidence that he clearly did not feel. "It was him doing those things, not you. He is the cold blooded killer with no emotions."  He brushed a stray hair from Hajime's forehead and kissed that spot where it was. "And you are kind and fearless...you are the one I fell head over heels in love with, despite my better judgment."  
          Hajime allowed a small smile to cross his face. "I love you, too doofus."
            "Let's go back to sleep." Nagito said with a smile, as he laid his head on the pillow. Hajime could feel the sleepiness returning, so he nodded in agreement. 
         Nagito snuggled into his back as he got comfortable. Kissing the back of his neck playfully. His eyes felt heavy so he indulged in closing them. Feeling that sleep would come sooner than he expected.  Until he heard one word coming from Hajime that turned his blood cold. "Servant."       Immediately, Nagito sat straight up, fear and regret showing in his eyes. "What did you say?"
         Hajime rolled over and placed a hand under his head to prop it up. "That's what I called you." He looked up at Nagito, who was trying so hard not to show emotion. "What's wrong?" He reached up slowly and traced the mark on Nagito's neck. Without thought, Nagito flinched, backing away as if afraid to be touched. "What.....?" His words trailed off, staring at Nagito try to regain his composure. "It wasn't a dream." He said with a sigh.
Nagito tried to smile again, but the tears in his eyes betrayed his true emotions. "It's nothing," he said looking down at his hands. He looked up at Hajime again, "I have met him before." He said finally. "It was when I was a Despair. I only remember flashes of it really." He swiped away the tears from his cheeks. "But he is not you." He said as he felt Hajime move off of the bed, standing as if in a trance. "I will never believe that the Hinata that I know, that I love, would ever be that cruel."
Hajime turned to look at Nagito again. "I did this to you." He said in a low monotone barely audible voice. "How can you stand to be around me, Ko?" He looked at the cuts and scars on Nagito's arms, and then quickly averted his eyes. "I'm a monster."
Nagito stood next to him and hugged him as tight as he could "No, you are not." He said, trying to move Hajime's head to look into his eyes. "Izuru Kamukura is the monster... you...." He let his one arm down for a moment to turn Hajime to face him. "You are Hajime Hinata. You defeated the Ultimate Despair." His voice was angry and sad at the same time. He released Hajime from the hug for a moment and bared his scars. "And, I did this to myself. You did not do this. I am weak, and selfish...I should have let you go." Nagito sat back on the bed, his thin white arms wrapped across his chest. "My Luck Cycle will not allow me to find true happiness. All I do is bring tragedy to those closest to me." He looked at Hajime who was too busy with his own thought. Thank God, he's probably not even listening to me.
"Is that the reason..." Hajime said quietly. "Why we don't do more?" He looked at Nagito sitting silently on the edge of the bed. Deep in thought. "You always stop just before." He was now standing right in front of Nagito. Mindlessly playing with his hair. Why is it so fluffy? It's amazing how something so small can bring me so much happiness. "Ko, I think you are worth the risk." He kneeled down positioning himself right between Nagito's legs. "I just worry that you don't feel the same." He gently laid his head in his lap.
        Nagito was paralyzed by the sudden change in Hajime's mood. "Of course I feel the same." He said after a little thought. "I just worry that I will never be enough, and eventually you will move on."  He looked at Hajime, his head laying peacefully in his lap, and tried to think of anything else. To prevent the inevitable from happening.  He has to be doing this on purpose. Nagito thought. 
        "I want our first time to be special." He said, answering a question from before. "Since my actual first time was a nightmare." Hajime lifted his head, and looked at him, smiling.  Nagito flinched when he saw a familiar gleam in his eyes.
         Izuru glared at Nagito behind Hajime's left eye. Daring him to say more.