Luke Patterson Imagines (JATP)

Now or Never (Part Two)

You feel empty for a long time. How do you move on from this? You'd just hit the highest high of your life- your boys performing at the Orpheum, your own show there in a matter of weeks, and Luke Patterson had finally kissed you. You had felt giddy, like you were walking on air. Now it's all come crashing down, and you have no idea who to go to. Everyone who would have once comforted you is now dead and gone.

Well, there's still one person left, although you're too distraught to pay them much attention. Bobby had come to you soon after you received that accursed phone call, running his hands anxiously through his hair. "Is it true?" He'd asked, and you'd nodded, tears coursing down your cheeks. "I loved him, Bobby, and Luke loved me. It's all over now." Bobby had looked at you out of the corner of his eyes as he paced the room. "He wasn't the only one." You pretend you can't hear him. It's too soon, and too close to home.

Bobby leaves soon after that, muttering something under his breath. You don't bother to catch it. You couldn't care much about what he has to think of you. Let him curse you until his dying breath- your Luke is gone, your close friends Alex and Reggie as well. What use could he have to you? None of it matters anymore, and you don't much feel like trying to pick up the pieces anytime soon.

The funeral is within a week. You drive yourself there, hands gripping the steering wheel until you feel like your fingers could fracture into small scatterings of skin and bone. You're alone in the car- much like Luke, Alex, and Reggie, you live by yourself. Your parents didn't entirely approve of you making a name for yourself as a musician, so they figured that by decreeing that you couldn't play music under their roof you'd straighten out soon enough.

Instead, you ran away, and found an apartment in a nearby complex barely big enough to call a home. It worked for you, even when the roof leaked and the groceries ran thin. Still, it was yours, and you'd had Luke, Alex, and Reggie over often enough that it felt like you might have a new family. This means that your parents do not come with you to the funeral, and that you feel the weight of your solitude more keenly than ever.

You're not thinking straight, you know that, but you can't convince yourself to care. They're gone, after all. They're not coming back. Your eyes don't focus on the road. Instead, you see yourself in days long gone: when you'd just met the boys, when you wrote songs alongside Luke and the others. You planned to perform together at some point. Maybe you'd even release an album together at some point. All of those dreams and hopes and aspirations, washed down the drain. You can hear the honking of cars and bright flashes of light outside the windshield. You can't seem to drag your mind from the past.

It happens soon enough, anyway. Drunk driver across the intersection, didn't look up. You were so lost in the bygone days that you didn't react in time. All you get is one blinding flash of headlights and then the crunch of glass and metal, and then it's all over. Your last thought is that you'll finally be home again, your family within reach one last time. Won't that be good?

It's quiet. Then, not. You're not sure how long it was dark- maybe a minute, maybe an hour, maybe no time at all. When you wake, you're in the middle of an airy room, the setting flickering in and out of existence around you. You finally come to and realize that you're in Sunset Curve's studio, although some things have been moved around. Most importantly, though, you're being held by someone, someone you thought you would never see again.

When you see Luke, you start to sob. You reach up to touch his face, full of uncomprehending shock. You can't form the words to ask the question waiting on the tip of your tongue, but that doesn't matter, because he's holding you close to him. You breathe in and out against his shoulder, the familiar flannel rubbing into your cheek. You stay like that for a long time, until you can convince yourself to let him go and lean back so you can see his face once more.