I Don't Want You Like A Best Friend

12

Y/N POV

We were about midway through breakfast when it happened.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and for some reason, I just knew it was him.

Joe: Looks like you decided to come to your senses. Or, maybe  Taylor just realized how worthless you are and decided to stay away from you. Either way, it's a step in the right direction. Don't think I won't kick your ass if you go near my girl again though. She loves me, not you. You're not even a real man.

That last sentence was the final straw. Maybe I wasn't fully a man since I'm non binary, but Joe was obviously and heavily implying that my being trans somehow wasn't valid.

I shot to my feet, abruptly shaking the table and gathering the attention from Megan, Taylor, and my teammates. I was so fucking angry, all I could do was storm out of the coffee shop, ending up in the alleyway next to it.

I paced back and forth, trying to control my breathing before the rage I felt finally over took me, and I swung my fist at the brick wall.

"Y/N!" 

Her voice stopped me, and I froze, my clenched hand barely an inch away from making contact with the hard surface.

"Are you crazy!? You're gonna break your hand!" Taylor yelled, running over to me and pushing my away from the wall.

Her blue eyes blazed with an intensity that almost made me falter. 

She was pissed off, but so was I.

"Why the fuck do you care what I do!?" I snapped, finding my anger only increasing with the blond there. I wanted to scream at her and tell her how fucked up her boyfriend was. How could someone like her be with someone like him?

But I bit my cheek, holding my tongue because I knew that if I did that, I could kiss our friendship goodbye. As upset as I was, I didn't want that.

I knew it wasn't fair of me to be upset with her; she had no idea Joe was doing this, but my emotions were all over the place at the moment.

"What kind of question is that? Y/n your entire fucking job revolves around your hands! I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself just because something pissed you off. Now, you don't need to tell me what's going on if you don't want to, but it's obvious something is bothering you. Ever since the concert you've been acting off. We didn't talk at all the party last night- I mean you barely even looked at me besides when I first got there, so if I've done something that hurt you, I want you to tell me, alright? I care about you because you're my friend."

I wished so badly that I could tell her what was going on, but the damage that that would cause was far greater than I could handle. I refused to do anything that would hurt Taylor, even if that meant having to deal with Joe's transphobic bullshit and harassment.

Taking a few deep breaths, I allowed my body to relax ever so slightly. "You didn't do anything." I spoke, voice raspy. "I'm fine. Sorry for yelling at you."

Her expression softened, and Taylor put a warm hand on my cheek, cupping my face, which immediately causing my heart to race. "It's okay. Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Fine. I'm fine. It's...it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"I'm here for you, Sweetheart. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here, okay?"

Fuck she was making it so ungodly difficult to not kiss her.

"Okay, thank you."

Thankfully, right after I said that, and before I had the chance to make a colossally stupid choice, Megan entered the alley, looking concerned. 

"Y/n, are you okay? What's going on?"

Taylor stepped away from me quickly, cheeks flushed red. "He's fine."

"I'm alright. It doesn't matter." I said, weirdly feeling as if I had been caught with my hand in a cookie jar.

Megan nodded and gave me a smile. "We were worried about you. I would have come out here sooner, but I wanted to give you some time to yourself."

"I appreciate that. Everything's good now." I spoke, forcing a smile in an attempt to get her to stop talking.

"Good, I'm glad."

Just as Taylor had this morning, Megan looked back and forth between us for a second with look in her eye that I didn't recognize.

After a strangely awkward moment, the brunette cleared her throat, then turned back to me.

"Let's finish breakfast. Some of the girls wanna walk around town after."

--------------------------

Since the incident in the alley this morning, everyone seems to be keeping a closer eye on me. Especially Taylor. I could tell she was worried about me, and had it not been for the situation, that would've made my heart melt.

Right now all it did was make my heart hurt more.

Megan was also keeping a close eye on me, but in a more physical way. As we were all walking along the streets, checking out the shops, the brunette held my hand tightly in hers as if we were a couple.

I couldn't decide if I liked it or not.

I mean, Megan was very kind and she did have a great personality, but no matter how much I wished I could, I didn't have romantic feelings for her.

Last night, at least for me, was nothing more than a one night stand in a futile attempt to get over Taylor. And yes, while I enjoyed the sex, there were literally zero strings for me.

I was dreading the conversation I'd eventually have to have with Megan if she kept up her moves on me, but I also didn't want to lead her on. Clearly last night was more to her than it was for me, and I think maybe she's getting mixed signals.

I just wished I could talk to someone about this whole thing, but with both women right there, I'd have to wait until later. Ash and Tobin kept giving me weird looks which meant they knew what was going on and wanted an explanation, but I didn't have time to worry about that right now.

As of this moment, all I could do was try to just get through the day and figure out my next move.

Now that I know Taylor was aware of my distancing from her, I felt obliged to try and repair that damage. I didn't want the pop star to think it was because of something she'd done. 

Maybe it was worth it to endure Joe if it meant I could hang out with Taylor.

"Y/n, you good? You zoned out." Megan spoke up, nudging me.

I blinked, coming out of my thoughts. "Yeah- sorry. Just...thinking."

"Y/n Lacari? Thinking? Who knew he could do that?" Ash joked, laughing with Tobin.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "You're one to talk, Ash. Your dumbass got hit in the face by the ball last time we scrimmaged."

"And what about it? I still blocked it, didn't I?"

Laughing, I shrugged. "Touche."

"She got you with that one, bro." Tobin said, patting me on the back.

Next to me, Taylor laughed, her gorgeous blond hair flowing in the cool breeze. "God, you three."

"What about us?" I asked in an accusatory, but teasing tone.

She smirked. "Nothing. Don't worry about it." She said, exchanging looks with Christen, Ali, and Alex.

Well I had no idea what that meant, but it was hot.