Fight For Me

4. Dose of Reality

I know I need to stop fucking up, but apparently it's in my genes. Shit? What if my kid becomes like me or even worse...my parents. I start hyperventilating and Tammy pulls my car over, and I don't even notice.

"Bryan look at me."

When I do I see her eyes are puffy and all red. I pull her into a hug and start crying.

"I'm so fucking sorry, I'm so fucked up in the head."

She rubs my back and tries to soothe me when I should be doing that to her.

"It's going to be okay."

"You don't know that Tam. What if our kid inherits my screwed up genes."

"You're not screwed up, your just lost. You can find your way."

"I don't know."

I shake my head and wipe my eyes. God I feel like a fucking pussy.

"I'll make you a deal. I have an appointment tomorrow and if things don't change your perspective then I won't bother you again."

"But I..."

"Bryan I'm having this kid no matter what. We didn't plan it but I love this baby already. I won't hold it against you if you don't want to be a part of our lives."

"I understand. No matter what I will help take care of our child."

"See Bry you are nothing like them." She pulls me into a hug and I feel my body shake. I want to believe but I just can't.

"How about you stay tonight, my parents won't be back until tomorrow."

"Shit! Do they know?"

She shakes her head and I see the sad look on her face. "I'll tell them when they get home."

Man this conversation is sobering me up and I don't like it. "They are going to fucking kill me."

"You'll be fine."

I text Benny to let him know I'm staying at Tammy's. Which he replies saying to sober up. Once we get to her house I strip down to my boxers as soon as I lay on her bed, I pass the fuck out.

I dream of cat eyes and the way he made my body feel. "Bryan" I open my eyes to see me rubbing my hand over Tammy's pussy. She moans as my dick rubs against her ass.

"Please Bryan" I pull down my boxers and slide into her pussy from behind. I move in and out of her slowly. I close my eyes and see his eyes again and I start moving faster.

What the fuck is happening to me?

Images of him straddling and grinding against me has me pumping in her faster and harder.

"Oh my God Bryan!"

I start rubbing her clit and I feel tears coming out of my eyes. I'm more turned on by cat eyes then my girlfriend. I shut my eyes again to try to get rid of the images, but they keep coming in like a movie stuck on a loop, and fuck I'm turned on. I pull out and slam into her as she screams my name again. But my mind is imagining his voice, his body here.

"Oh fuck!" I feel more tears as I keep fucking her as I see it clear as day pounding into an ass and his voice telling me to fuck him harder. "Oh God!" My dick has never been this hard. She clenches her pussy around my dick, but the memory is coming back to me.

Fuck I lost my virginity to a guy.

I cry out as I cum inside her and feel her spasm around me. I lean my head on her back and try to stop the tears from falling more.

Great just another thing to fuck up my life more.

"That was incredible." She coos as she leans back and captures my lips. I thrust my tongue into her mouth.

I'm not gay. I will fucking prove it. It was one mistake...okay two,but never fucking happening again.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No" she says breathlessly. "Honestly that was the best sex we have had."

I climb on top of her and push my way back inside. "Let me show you I can do better."

I know I am in denial, but I push all that shit to the back of my mind. That is something for me to worry about at a different time. Right now I'm being a fucking idiot thinking that I have something to prove. I clear my mind of everything and fuck her long and hard. I wish I say that I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time, but I didn't. At least I satisfied her that she doesn't know my secret.

I am the worse fucking boyfriend in the world. Once we finish our second round. I close my eyes and go back to sleep. This time I did not dream about cat eyes but a nightmare of me being a shitty father just like my own. No matter what this appointment is not going to change anything. I just can't be a dad right now

When we wake up for the second time we get ready to go to the doctor's appointment. I am a nervous wreck. Maybe it was a false positive. Knowing my luck it's not. As we wait in the room for the Dr. I can't stop bouncing my knee.

"You'll be fine Bryan."

"I don't know."

The doctor walks in and I rub my clammy hands on my jeans.

"I'm Dr. Alvarez. Are you two ready to see how your baby is doing?"

I nod my head because my voice is stuck in my throat. Tammy lays down on the bed as the doctor puts some gel on her. The moment I hear that baby's heartbeat everything changes.

I'm not worried about what my sexuality is. Or my deadbeat parents. I am struck with awe on the sound of my child growing inside Tammy.

"Looks like your about six weeks pregnant." Dr. Alvarez says smiling at us.

"That's our baby." Tammy smiles as tears run down her face.

"Yes our baby." I grab her hand and bring it to my lips. "I'll do anything for our child."

Later on I will realize just how much I will do for my child. What depths I will go to keep my kid safe and loved.