obliterate | jisung

12

Jisung quietly entered the room where Haewon laid. Taking a seat on the chair beside the bed, he allowed his eyes to wander around the room, not paying much attention to the girl laid down on the bed.

" I'm down here you know?" Her squeaky voice and a wave of her hand in front of Jisung's eyes startled him, making him jump in his seat as his eyes immediately shot back down to look at Haewon.

Being greeted by the sweet smile that lit up on her lips as she looked up at him. She lifted herself up, wincing slightly at the pain that shot through her body from the sudden movement.

Jisung immediately stood up, leaning down and grabbing her by the arm to help her sit up, rearranging the pillows for her to comfortably lean on.

" Thanks," Haewon muttered while the boy just gave her a small nod of acknowledgement.

An awkward silence engulfed them as they just sat there. Jisung didn't know what to say, a casual hello or a simple how are you. How do people even start a conversation and talk?

He had so many things to tell, ask and confess to her throughout the duration of when she was gone. Yet now that she was in front of him, alive and well, he was unable to say a single word.

Haewon squinted her eyes, scanning the latter's face closely. She noticed the darkening eye bags below his eyes from the lack of sleep, his newly pierced lip ring and his messed up hair. No matter how much she stared at him, she could never get enough of it.

Every detail was noted by her — even the intervals of his blinking. Her eyes just couldn't leave his face, maybe it was because she hadn't seen him in so long or it was the longest sweet dream she had that made her yearn for him to say something — maybe an " i love you " or " i miss you."

Haewon habitually fiddled with her own fingers, her mouth opening and closing, not knowing whether she should speak or not. She could only stare in wonder as Jisung continued to avoid her gaze, staring out of the window at the alluring sunset while leaning back on the chair.

" Stop staring at me like that," Jisung finally said. It disappointed her slightly — was that really the first thing he says after one year without her? But nevertheless, she was glad he said something.

" Whats wrong with it?"
" You're staring at me like I mean the world to you and that i'm good for you when in fact I am nothing like that," he plainly stated even though his heart ached slightly.

Haewon was taken aback, she blinked at him yet he paid no attention to her. She impulsively raised her hand up, grabbing his chin so lightly as if it was fragile, turning his head towards her to face her.

" You're nothing like that, sung," she smiled lightly as she stared deeply into his eyes. " You don't mean the world to me, you are my world, my entire universe in fact. You're not good for me, you're the only one for me, you know that right?"

He would be lying if he said that his heart wasnt fluttering, staring into her eyes that literally held an entire galaxy in them.

Despite that, his negative thoughts still outweighed his love. Or maybe it was the fact that his love for her gave him all the negative thoughts — an overthinker indeed.

He snapped out of it, bringing his hand up and gently grabbing her wrist of the hand that held his chin, moving it back down to her side.

" I only bring harm to you, being with me is already a danger itself," he shook his head, his dull eyes looking back outside the window. " I don't think I can do it anymore, this whole love thing, it just hurts both of us everytime."

Haewon's eyes teared up slightly, not knowing where this conversation was headed to. " What are we even? Friends? Lovers? Soulmates?"

" Longlost childhood friends, lets just keep it as that," Jisung quietly answered.

Silence encapsulated them after, both deep in their own thoughts. They both knew they were more than just " friends " or " longlost childhood friends " whatever crap that he came up with.

None of them said a word after, none showed a sign of wanting to initiate another conversation, both drowned in their own thoughts.

Jisung checked the time on his phone before standing up. " Jaemin is going to come take care of you soon, I'll leave first, goodbye Haewon," he said before turning his back and leaving through the door which felt hurried yet he made it seem calm.

Haewon felt a pang in her heart, it wasn't the fact that he left so soon but rather because he blatantly called her by her name. Were they not at the pet names stage anymore?

He felt so distant from her.
It didn't feel the same anymore.

A tear slipped out of her eye just when Jaemin entered her room, she was quick to rub it away but he already took notice of it.

" What happened?" He asked worriedly, placing his things down along with some food that he bought for her to eat and immediately sat on the chair.

" He doesn't want me anymore, Jae, he really doesn't."

Oh hey fancy meeting yall again 😉😘