Hiding Sparrows

34. No shit, sherlock

I got drunk, then.

I don't know when it happened, but at some point the world got even fuzzier and the filters on my mouth and actions disappeared.

Between the cider in Saylor's room, and shots on her kitchen counter was a blurry space of more and more drinks. Heath must have left before then, because I didn't see him again. At one point, I checked my phone to see if there were messages from him, only to remember that I'd blocked him in a fit of rage earlier in the day. I didn't unblock him.

I hung out with Saylor, mostly, although the circle of people around us grew and shifted. I didn't talk much, but I drank, and I danced.

And well into the night, after my second lot of shots, I started feeling dizzy so parted away from the crowd to go sit outside. The music was too loud, even out there, and I winced at the lights. The next thing I knew I was stumbling down the driveway back out to the street, where I plonked myself down under a dim streetlight, in between a banged up red sedan and a white hatchback. Then, I clenched my eyes shut to fight off the waves of nausea

It was then that the emotions came.

They hit me like a wall, out of nowhere, suddenly thinking about Heath, and Jack, how hopeless I had felt. How out of control.

And Tyson, who hadn't come to save me. Who hasn't come to make it better. Who had left me there with him, powerless and afraid.

Tears pulled at my eyes and I stifled a sob, angry and emotional. My hands shaking, I pulled my phone from my pocket, went to go text Ty. Chew him out.

i m so mad at you

I knew that the grammar and shit were wrong, but I didn't care. I didn't care about that stuff usually, and I wasn't going to start eight drinks in.

The reply was fast.

Pardon?

I nearly scoffed. Picturing Ty typing out the word pardon, like some polite gentleman bachelor.

u left

What?

U left me bfor
at apartment u said u would come up
but u didnt
U left me with him

The tears were coming again, and I could barely make out the screen, as three dots appeared, then disappeared, then came back again. Before it stopped entirely.

Then started ringing in my hand. For a moment, I wanted to decline the call. Just out of spite. But what would that accomplish? Nothing. So I lifted it to my ear and answered.

"Hey," he said, his voice tired.

"Don't say hey, I'm angry at you," I scowled, my brow creasing in a frown. Anxiety was twisting in my gut, and though I liked hearing his voice, it wasn't going away.

"Yes, so you mentioned Robin," he replied.

"No don't call me that," I said, and couldn't keep the whine out of my voice.

"Don't call you what? Your name?" He asked. He was grumpy too. I didn't like it.

"I don't like when you say it like that, like you're mad at me."