Love hurts

My Trevor.

I finished reading the book," On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous", and it got me thinking about you.
As soon as he described Trevor and his character of being a troubled youth who had more than just father issues; I thought of you.
You are my Trevor.
You are my wholesome boy who I share close to 5 years of memories with.
You are the one who makes me laugh, cry, and a bit anxious at times.
You are the one who tried to teach me to ride a skateboard and I'm still shit at it.
You hold my deepest darkest secrets in a beat up Nissan car at 4am.
You've held me when I cried and reassured me that the life we are living isn't always going to be stagnant.
And just like Trevor, I saw you turn into someone I hardly recognize.
The only difference is that you are still here and you are still breathing; and I hope you never stop.
It's stupid to care about someone who hurt you but it's the mature thing to do.
To wish them well when you are sad or hurt about the past.
I still think about what you said in the car about me not knowing if you'd ever die and it's true I wouldn't know; or even have the slightest clue if you were to pass on. I didn't think much about it but now it's all I ever do. 
And to my Trevor, I love you in ways you can't fathom and I don't think I can stop. I'm still here and I still care.