Make This Feel Like Home

Chapter 17

Mal's POV:

Right now I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Harry's car, in the drive way of his childhood home. We've been sitting here for the better half of ten minutes because he didn't want to go in. He's definitely anxious which is something I haven't seen in him before. I honestly kind of thought he was incapable of feeling that.

We got into Manchester late last night and we stayed in a hotel. To make it cheaper and because we knew it wouldn't be awkward.. we shared a room. Two queen beds in the dim glow of a 3 star hotel. We fell asleep instantly but before we did, he insisted to sleep on the bed closest to the door. Something about if someone tries to murder us, he could try and fight them off. And that was the last thing I remember before promptly melting into the mattress.

This morning I woke up to him pacing, still in last nights jeans and t-shirt. He was walking back and forth kind of mumbling. At first I thought that maybe he was losing his mind and then selfishly thought that maybe he regretted asking me to come with him. I eventually sat up, effectively making my presence known and he turns to see me.

He said good morning and then we came straight here. Now, at almost 11:00am UK time and nearly 6:00am back home.

"Ok I have to tell you something" he says finally meeting my gaze. "Ok, what's up?" I say trying to seem calm and not stress him out even more. "My mum.... She uh" he says shaking his leg and I've never seen him like this. I nod offering him to go on. "She has cancer.. stage 4 stomach cancer" he says and his leg stops shaking, he looks back up to my face and I honestly don't know what to say. "Oh.." is all I come up with. "That's actually the first time I've said it out loud" he says admittedly.  "Well that's good Harry. That means that you are excepting it. I'm so sorry, you and Anne don't deserve this." I say. I don't know anything else I can say. He nods "yeah".

We sit there for a moment in silence.. not uncomfortable but I can tell he's just thinking. "Yeah it's been tough on the whole family, Gem and I trade 2 weeks at a time, she's here for two weeks and she does her uni online and then I'm here for 2 weeks. All while we still have full time nursing because my mom insists that we are her children, not her nurses. And that's how we've been doing it since I moved to California. And of course dad is here, but he has to work. Medical bills are expensive, most of her meds are covered but we still have to pay out of pocket for her home care and other meds that aren't covered." He takes a breath "plus flying back and forth, I basically have debt out my ass" he says huffing out a sad laugh.  I nod and reach for his hand. "Look if I'm intruding.. you can tell me" he Immediately shakes his head, "no, no I just wanted to let you know because she has probably lost more hair since I've last seen her and she's probably napping right now because of her chemo so I  I just thought I'd warn you.." he says and I nod, "okay" I say softly squeezing his hand, now realizing it's still in my grasp.

He takes a deep breath and says "okay.. let's go" and with that we climb out of the car and up the steps to the front door.

I watch as Harry knocks and then let's himself in, I follow in behind him. "Marie!" He says with a smile, walking away from my side and giving her a tight hug. "Mal, this is Marie, one of my mum's nurses" he says, seeming more calm. I reach out and shake her hand "hi" I say with a smile, meeting new people isn't my forté but I guess that's what this trip is about.

At least I have Harry.

Although he knows nothing about my anxiety and depression, some how he helps.

Must be a placebo.

We walk over to the living room, his mum is sleeping, hooked up to an IV pole next to the couch, and a beanie on her head. She seems content, sleeping but I can see how it effects Harry. His face is solemn as he walks over to the couch and covers her with a blanket that lays on the side of the couch. She stirs a little bit but goes right back into her slumber.