Where ☹ Muke

XI ; you take me over.

« clifford »

Twelve hours.

I've been locked in this room, alone, for twelve hours. There's nothing to occupy my time so I've simply been throwing a bouncy ball at the door for about an hour or two.

I haven't been able to sleep, it's impossible to sleep in the silence because it reminds me of too much.

I feel like I'm going insane.

Baby you've been insane.

"Shut up." I yelled.

Make me.

"Shut up." I yelled louder.

Fix it Michael.

"Fix what?"

Me, you know what I need.

"No, there is no fucking way that's happening."

He began screaming.

Fucking faggot.

Worthless piece of shit.

Even Luke doesn't want you around.

Hell you want it more than me, we both know it.

I shook my head feeling a sharp pain press between my eyes making me cry out in pain. The pain increased to a pounding pulse hammering at my temples and throughout every crevice of my head. The pain was unbearable as I listened to the repetitive pounding, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

So that's what I did, I crawled to the darkest corner of my room and allowed violent sobs to rack through my body, my whole figure was shaking and even through the constant mix of screaming and pounding in my head -- you could hear my bones tapping against one another.

I continued to cry for what felt like an eternity just hoping to hear the door creak open, for somebody to save me from myself but nobody came. It was just me and my "friend" and god I hated him, because he's always won against me.

C'mon Michael, if you give in now it won't be as bad.

"No."

Don't you like the feel of it, it helped you when David got to you.

"Shut up."

But didn't you like the way he touched you.

"I was twelve, and he was twice my size -- I was terrified."

The way he ran his fingers up and down your thighs? How his fingers danced through your hair as he pressed his lips to yours? Or maybe when he --

"Shut up, shut up, j-just sh-shut up."

Didn't you like how he stole it all from you, how old was he again?

"Stop." The tears were coming in heavy rain clouds, just flowing in streams blocking my vision completely blinding me with the pain of my past.

Oh yeah, he was thirty, did you ever tell your mom?

"Please."

Of course not, she'd know you liked it right.

"No, stop, please."

Baby it's only began.

"D-don't ca-call me that."

Why not baby, is that what he called you?

He's back in town yanno, maybe he'll visit you?

"No!" I screamed uncurling my body from itself and jumping to my feet, I couldn't handle his taunting. So I shuffled across the room with an exasperated sigh, this was where I gave into him and allowed him to feel accomplished and I fucking hated it -- because it always happens.

Even when my footsteps creaked across the carpeted flooring I held my breath in fear that one of my parents would arrive and lash out on me. My eyes landed on the silver doorknob leading to the conjoined bathroom and I hurried to wrench my eyes shut, to will myself out of this stupid idea.

But it was too late.

My hand had grasped the knob and there was no going back as I pushed through, ignoring his laughter of victory.