Where ☹ Muke

XXIII ; what i wanna save i'll kill.

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The walk to the house was completely silent aside from the boys random shrills of a death wish and broken sobs followed by Ashton's coos, it was as if he were completely experienced in how this boy works -- and it was quite amazing to see. I mean he obviously was experienced seeing as this was the fourth time, which bothered me in a way.

What could be so bad that this boy wanted to die, that badly? I understand a lot goes on behind closed door, behind closed eyes, but something has to be troubling this boy deep down.

We were approaching Calum's house and the boy had silenced, that's when I noticed his head had drooped down and his eyes had fluttered shut at some point because he clung limply to Ashton's chest. He seemed peaceful from this angle, but I couldn't be completely sure since I couldn't see his face for any signs of discomfort.

"When we get in there I'm going to wake him up, and Luke you cannot yell at all," Calum directed making me furrow my brows but nodded slowly, "he's timid, seriously he's terrified and you saw the state he was in."

"And you're going to listen to everything we have to say, and you will be calm and you will not raise your voice, you won't use your hands to get violent, and you cannot set him off." Ashton pointed out as Calum opened the door allowing us in.

Wow I'm confused -- I'm always confused. It's just I'm not seeming to grasp what's so important about this boy that I have to be completely peaceful around, I mean sure he literally just tried to jump off a bridge. Okay maybe I can see their point, but I'm not understanding why I have to be so collected -- Ashton literally screamed in his face.

I followed them into the living room though this time Calum was seated beside me as Ashton still held the boy in his arms quietly whispering to him. I smiled softly seeing how kind Ashton was towards him, the way he allowed the boy to grumble and nuzzle his face back in Ashton's neck and Ash stayed patient.

"C'mon kitten, you've got to let go of me?"

"What if I don't," the boy whispered still clinging tightly to the front of Ashton's shirt for dear life, his voice was muffled from the way his face was pressed against Ashton.

"Well I guess you have to deal with random boners." Ashton sang bouncing the boy up and down on his lap.

"Ew Ashy no!" The boy squealed hopping off of Ashton and cuddling the couch instead as the rest of us laughed quietly at his reaction. We laughed for a few minutes before Calum cleared his throat as our attention turned towards him.

"We need to um, talk about some uh, things." He said looking at Ashton for approval. "So Luke, you've met our friend."

From across the table I heard a gasp and looked up to see the boy trying to escape Ashton who had him clutched to his chest. "MICHAEL SET YOUR ASS DOWN AND LET US EXPLAIN."

"NO YOU PRICK. HES THE REASON I WANT TO DIE, AND HOU BRING HIM HERE?" He screamed still squirming in Ashton's hold.

"M-Michael?" I whispered as my eyes widened.

He didn't mean my Michael did he?

"YOU AREN'T DYING AS LONG AS I'M HERE." Ashton fired back.

"I HATE YOU, I HATE ALL OF YOU." Michael cried still thrashing though he was beginning to grow calm -- though I realized he wasn't calm, he was having a panic attack. "A-A-Ash," he whispered as I noticed his body shaking rather violently.

Ashton held him to his chest once again though now he was whispering something I couldn't quite understand though I noticed it seemed to be a song as his voice was slow and soft. I used to sing to Michael when he had panic attacks, it was the only way to calm him down. It seems like the only way to calm this boy down too as he was relaxing into Ashton's touch.

I decided to take the moment to study the boy who was now silently crying with his eyes wrenched shut. He had raven black hair, and it looked nice compared to his powder white complexion. I noticed how long his sleeves were on him as the shirt itself was baggy and hung off of him revealing protruding collar bones. Not the type that are visible as you put on muscles but more as sickly.

"Can somebody please explain this?" I asked keeping my voice low but demanding as I was seriously confused.

"This is Michael, you know him as your childhood best friend." Calum smiled weakly looking over to where Michael sat looking like a dear caught in headlights.

"No you've got it all wrong, Cal you were at his funeral."

"Um Ash, I believe this is where you begin to explain." Calum pleaded making Ashton sigh before running his fingers through his curls.

"What is there to explain?" I screeched not caring about the timid boy who's eyes had begun to allow tears flowing freely. "That you fucking faked his death and cooped him up here and made ME BELIEVE that he died because of ME? Let me guess, that whole ceremony at school was fake? Hell you probably burned down his house yourselves. I COULD FUCKING KILL YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW, ESPECIALLY YOU MICHAEL."

Michael was full on sobbing by now, as in his shoulders were shaking up and down as he attempted to choke back the violent tears that were trailing down his cheeks but he still opened his mouth and looked me dead in the eye, even as he was sobbing he used the effort to say two words, "please do."