| Deeper | A Doctor Who Fanfiction | COMPLETE |

Chapter 1

She stood there. Frozen. Watching the time machine fade away, slipping through her fingers like fine sand. And what felt like an eternity ended up being just a moment. A blink. Maybe if she hadn't blinked, the TARDIS would have stayed.

Rose felt one of her cheeks wet, so she reached with her palm to wipe away her tears. He had left her. Again, on this stupid beach in Norway.

A hand slipped to hers and when she looked up she saw him. The Doctor. The half-human Doctor. The Doctor that shouldn't have been. They exchanged glances before she turned back to where the TARDIS once stood, now only just a memory.

„Bloody Norway. Again!" Jackie said. „I'll have to phone your father. Rubbish that Doctor of yours, I tell ya'. Rubbish!"

„Oi!" the Doctor exclaimed.

„'S not his fault, mum. It was a dimension crack, just about to close. He barely slipped us through." Rose said. „Doesn't explain him leaving me behind though." she then muttered.

Twenty minutes later, Rose was sat on one of the rocks on the beach. She had her head tilted away, but the Doctor knew she was crying.

„Give her some time," Jackie whispered. „Took her a while last time. My poor baby." she sighed. „So go on then," she turned to the Doctor. „Are you him? Cause God knows what happened but I didn't understand a bit. Are you him? Are you the Doctor?"

He was taken aback for a second. „It's more complicated than that, Jackie." he said. „I am but I am not."

„Now don't start with that alien talk to me. Yes or no. Are you him?"

The Doctor took a moment to reply. He looked at Rose, who was now hugging herself, then back at Jackie. He sharply inhaled thorugh his nose. „Yes."

„She doesn't seem to believe that. Otherwise she'd be snogging your face off this moment. Took her a whole year to get back on her feet last time."

„I'm sorry, Jackie." the Doctor pleaded.

„Tell her that. Not me. I'm not the one with a broken heart right now."

-

They were sitting next to each other in a taxi waiting to arrive at the nearest airport. Rose was looking out the window, not saying a word, whilst the Doctor listened to Jackie talk about Tony. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

„And I told him," Jackie put her finger up. „Tony, if you want to see your friend tonight, you'd better eat your vegetables."

The Doctor nodded his head, as if he were listening. Only he wasn't. He was thinking about Rose, who had been silent ever since the beach. He was unsure of what to do, of what to say. He was even unsure if he was allowed the luxury of sitting right beside her. Because every ounce of hope he had had when she kissed him, was now vanishing. Jackie had told him to be patient, to give her some time. But bloody hell the only thing he wanted to do was hug her. Tell her everything was gonna be alright. Kiss her on the forehead and keep her in his arms. He had missed her so much.

„...because nothing is worse than a shoe in the arse." Jackie's voice, which was a blur, creeped up to his attention again. The Doctor gave her another nod, not listening. „And if it weren't for Rose that day, he wouldn't have done it."

„Mum." Rose said, giving her a look to stop.

„Fine. I guess I'll shut up. I'll be silent. Cramped up in this car for another two hours." Jackie scoffed. But then her look softened. „How are you though, Rose?"

„Fine."

She was however not fine. She was everything but fine. How could she? She had worked her arse off on that dimension cannon, only for him to dump her back without regret.

Rose shifted away to her right, pressing her head against the window. Then closed her eyes to sleep.

-

She was awoken by the sound of the Doctor calling her name. And for a moment, she imagined herself back in the TARDIS, in her bedroom, with the Doctor, the proper Doctor, nudging her awake to explore another planet. She imagined herself get dressed in a hurry and leave for the console room, where she'd find him, and smile. And he would smile back at her. And everything would be okay.

Rose opened her eyes slowly. The Doctor moved a strand of  hair from her face, but flinched when she backed away from his touch. She must hate him so much. If it weren't for him, she would be back in the TARDIS this moment. Travelling the stars.

„I'm awake." she said, pulling on her jacket. She slowly exited the car, hugging herself at the impact of the cold.

They boarded a private plane and he watched her go and sit in one of the farthest chairs to be. Time. That's what she needed. Time. Yes of course, he thought.

„Sitting next to me, are ya'?" Jackie asked him. The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. That was the last thing he needed.

„I'll...have a trip to the loo." he replied. After washing his face with some water, the Doctor looked at himself in the mirror. „You fucked up." he muttered. „You fucked up." he repeated, as if talking to his other self.