| Deeper | A Doctor Who Fanfiction | COMPLETE |

Chapter 6

 „You're a field agent?!"

„You seem surprised." she said sarcastically.

Donna was right, it dawned on him. „Oh, Rose." he cried. He mentally hit himself in the guts. What had he done? What had he done to that spark of joy? To that light of pink? He took whatever innocence she had had and turned her into a soldier as well...

„I mean what did you expect?" she rose from the couch to sit on the bean bag, which was closer to the fireplace. „You said it yourself. Defender of the Earth. I can only defend from the frontline."

The Doctor ran his palm over his face in frustration. „Do you carry a gun?" he asked quietly first.

„What?"

„Rose...do you carry a gun?" he talked louder this time. Her not replying was enough of an answer. „I don't want you carrying a gun."

„Oh well, you don't want a looooot of things, Doctor." she stood up, placing her cup on the small table that curved around in an oval shape. „Just the way he didn't want me!"

„What do you want, Rose? Do you want me to apologise?" he snapped, standing up his feet. „Fine! I'll apologise for something that I haven't even done! I apologise for him leaving you behind. I apologise Donna had touched the hand, I apologise for him getting trapped on that damn Dalek Crucible, I apologise for him not being here for you! For him not being the one to kiss you! Hell, I'll even apologise for existing! I apologise for loving you, since that seems to be bothering you as much as everything else!"

Rose looked at him in shock, her eyes were wide and red. He had known the Doctor to be rude, but she had never seen him be ruthless. The Oncoming Storm.

Closing her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks.

Noticing what he had done, the Doctor took a step forward. „Rose-"

She stepped back, holding a hand up. „Don't. I just...I'm sorry."

And with that, she left.

„What have I done?" he whispered.

-

How did it even get to that point? They were having such a nice evening, so why now? Why did she get so pissed off at him all of a sudden? She had definitely over reacted and now it was too late. Dammit, Rose.

But the fact that he thought he had the power to change what was her choice, that's what angered her so much. Always deciding what other people had to obey. He had never asked. Never. He did not even give her the option to stay or leave with him. Just took her to this damn dimension, ruling her fate.

She opened the door to her bathroom, deciding it best to take a shower and sleep on it.

-

The Doctor plopped his shopping bags in the center of his bedroom before closing the door with a bam. He was angry. Definitely angry. Not at Rose, but at himself. At himself and his other self.

How did it even get to that point? They were having such a nice evening, so why now? Why did he get so pissed off all of a sudden?

He sat on the edge of the bed, head resting in his hands. And sighed.

„Need some fresh air." he talked to himself, while standing to open a window. Then in the corner of his eye he noticed an item he did not remember purchasing at all. Nearing the shopping bag, he opened it, a wave of saddness falling onto him. „Rose.." he whispered, taking out a long brown coat that looked nearly the same as his original one. She must've purchased it while he wasn't looking.

Pulling it on, he checked himself in the mirror. Then his attention fell onto something in his pocket. He reached down to look and then his face fell.

The Doctor left his bedroom in a hurry, stopping at her door. He questioned his actions once. Twice. Three times, before actually knocking. „Rose?" he called out gently. Then he knocked again. To no avail. Rose must have fallen asleep.

He returned to his room, laying himself down on the bed. And then he checked his new sonic screwdriver out.

-

Rose woke up much earlier that morning. After brushing her teeth, she put on her work clothes and some running shoes, put her hair in a ponytail and went out the door.

While she drove the empty streets of London, she could not stop thinking at the words he threw in her face last night.

„I apologise for him not being here for you! For him not being the one to kiss you! Hell, I'll even apologise for existing! I apologise for loving you, since that seems to be bothering you as much as everything else!"

"...Hell, I'll even apologise for existing!"

„...For him not being the one to kiss you!"

„...For him not being the one to kiss you!"

„...For him not being the one to kiss you!"

„...For him not being the one to kiss you!"

The memory replayed in her mind like a broken record. Over and over and over again.

And then she thought of the day on the beach when they had kissed. Proper snog, in fact. And in some way it ached her that he thought she regretted that kiss. But did she? Did she regret any of this? Did she truly regret not leaving with the Time Lord or did she not? Because things were definitely not going easy here. And what about him? The Time Lord. Would he had done anything different if she had come back on the TARDIS? Probably not. Knowing him, he would have brushed it all off, seeing all they had as just a friendship. So he would've broken her heart either way and yet, she would've done it. For the splendor of the time travel and the running. For the stars. For the fighting. And for him, to hold his hand so he wouldn't be alone.

Ugh, a headache was incoming,

Pulling up into the parking lot where she would always park, Rose exited her car then entered the building.

„You're an early sight." the porter exclaimed. „Glad to see you!"

„You too, Chris."

She unlocked the door to her small office, then turned to make herself a nice cup of fresh coffee, glancing at the clock. Four in the morning.

After taking a sip from her cup, she grabbed some documents, making her way down to Floor 0.

She pressed her ID against the digital screen to the right of the sliding doors.

„Rose Tyler. Welcome." the AI greeted her.

The only people that had access to this side of the building were herself, Jake, Mickey and Pete. But with Mickey now gone and Jake working for Torchwood Three, she guessed she'd be the only one using the privilage.

„Can you turn up the heat, please?" Rose asked the AI. „Thanks."

This part of the building was her guilty pleasure. The AI reminded her of the TARDIS and what beautiful things that time machine could do. Tapping into your mind, translating languages and honestly, just being a good girl. The TARDIS could tend to your needs without you even asking, and Rose found herself missing her dearly. The smell of metal, the golden lights, even the background noise she'd hear day and night from the engines.

Rose went through another couple of doors until she reached her destination.

„What's the status?" she asked.

„Status: Offline." the AI responded.

„Yeah, guess I wouldn't be that lucky, huh?" she had a sad smile on her face, gazing upon the dimension cannon. „Hello, old friend."