Beany Fanfiction <3 <3

CHAPTER 3

hy preps this is chupter 3 hope you lick it btw yes babes beany is a reel purrson and this 100% accurat so dw me and beany are reel and were un itum in rl lyfe okeii engoy!!1!!!1!!!

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I feel sort of bad about leaving Beany like that. But who gives a damn really.

I'm sitting in the classroom, when Elsa comes in.

"HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY SAAAAAAACCCCHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Yo bitch"

"ISSSSS BEANNNNNNYYYYY HEREEEEEEEEEE"

"USE YOUR OWN GOD DAMN EYES HOLY SHIT YOU GINGER FUCK ITS NOT THAT DIFFICULT YOU GOT EYES USE THEM JUST USE YOUR GOD DAMN RETINA IRIS ALL THAT SHIT HOLY FUCK!!!!"

"Yo dude chill out"

I'm not chill because the classroom we hang out in is fucking boiling holy shit I can't standing being in there for a second longer.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Beany turn to look at me, and she looks like she's crying. I push Elsa off me and go over to Beany,

"Hey again slut"

Beany looks at me, "Are you going to leave me again? Cause yeah. Totally down for that."
"I was thinking," I said, "You need to stop having a crush on me. So I got you a prostitute."

Then I take away the curtain and there is Irene the Russian prostitute. 

"HALLO BEBE! I AM HERE! VOT DO YOU NEED?"
"Don't be racist to Russians Irene", I said

Irene doesn't give a damn because now she's cuddling Beany. I feel slightly jealous, but it was my plan in the first place.

"There Beany, you have someone else now. Now stop pining over me."

"But Sacha," Beany said, "You're the only one for me. Really.. I can't stop thinking about you." 

I look at her sexily. "Soz babe." I wave at her and walk away.

---

It's break now. I'm on my phone, listening to Politik by Coldplay. I do love me some Coldplay.

Beany comes over to me, but Irene is nowhere to be seen.

"YO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PROSTITUTE"

Beany shrugs, "I didn't want her. I gave her to Willow instead."

I look over to Willow to see her doing weird things with Irene and I throw my shoe at them to make them go away.

Then suddenly magically my ex Naomi appears out of nowhere. I still love Naomi, I do, but she was into some really kinky stuff and it sort of freaked me out. 

"Hey Beany babe" Naomi says, draping herself over Beany

"WHOAA WTF IS THIS" I said

Beany looks apologetically at me, "Soz. I got a new bae."

I feel an anger inside me and I suddenly throw my chocolate waffle at Naomi, and she screams

I laugh because of my witty private jokes oi oi ;) 

Beany looks shocked and a little impressed, and I then throw my banana at Naomi. 

Naomi screams at me, "YOUR MOTHER WAS A DOLPHIN"

You can call me a dolphin. 

You can call Willow a dolphin.

You can call a dolphin a dolphin.

BUT YOU NEVER CALL ME MOTHER A DOLPHIN!!1!!!!!

I leap at Naomi and start tickling her with a potato aggressively 

A crowd gathers around and starts yelling, "BEEF BEEF BEEF" and it's all cool for a while like an American movie.

But in my haste I'd forgotten Naomi's into some kinky stuff, and then suddenly I realise she's enjoying being tickled by a potato. 

I get off her angrily, and stare sexily at Beany.

Beany looks astonished at me.

"I loved you, Beany. And this is what you do to me?"

Everyone is silent now.

Beany opens her mouth to say something but I interrupt,

"No. I don't want to hear it." I walk off, tears forming in my eyes, and I start to cry, but then Thnks Fr Th Mmrs comes on and I'm all good again.

I instead start dancing becuz like who can't dance to that song and I moonwalk away a banana/waffle-covered Naomi and a suprised Beany like a boss.