~the hidden child~

•secrets reavealed•

Clary's POV:

i make my way down the long hallway towards collettes room.
This was it.
The time I actually get to talk to jace about what happened. I was still mad at him of course. But Theres something about seeing him hold collette so gently and full of love that I just want to collapse into his arms and cry.
I've missed him over the years. A lot more then you would imagine, or what I show people.
I would sometimes spend days in my room just laying there numb. Hoping he would burst through the door. But he never did.
Even after collette was born, I had a moment in the hospital that I had to give her to maddie.
She looked so much like Jace and me it was shocking.
I broke down that day in tears.
I've promised myself since then that I would never cry in front of my daughter ever again. I was a mom now. I needed to be strong.
Taking one last step I made it to the end of the hallway where collettes room is.
I reached for the door handle. I gently turned it and the door glided open.
There was jace.
On collettes rocking chair
Staring at me.
I was at a loss for words for a moment when my brain finally spoke for me.

"So you wanted to talk..?" I said as my head and eyes darted down to the floor

"Yes clary. You need to know what happened that day you saw me.." he trailed off.

"C-cheating on me..?" I finished the sentence for him. Choking back tears.
I wasn't going to cry. It's been 6 months since I've last cried. I'm not breaking this because of Jace.
After I said that the room went silent for awhile.
I moved to sit down in a chair close to collettes bed.
So I could try to look him in the face.

"yes clary that." he said before continuing another sentence.
"I was at the seelie bar that night. I had a drink and I called for another. It was just beer. But then I had to go to washroom. I got up leaving my beer on the counter. And when I came back Kailee was there. I thought it was odd but I didn't give it much thought. I then started to drink my beer. Everything got fuzzy after that. The next thing I remember is waking up beside Kailee. And that's when I knew what I had done.
I ran to find you. To confess. But you were already gone." He said as he put his head in his hands. I think he was crying but I couldn't tell.
All that information took me by suprise
What if he was lying.
What if he wasn't, and I had kept collette from him.
Either way it hurt.
Really bad.

"clary?" He said softly regaining my attention

His soft voice sent shivers down my spine. I just wanted a hug.

"um yea, it's just a lot to take in.." I said
"If your not lying.. then I'm an awful person." I could again feel the tears in my eyes. It's getting harder to fight them off.
I spun around quickly. Wiping my watery eyes and turned back around looking composed.
I was slick.
But not enough for Jace.

"Your not an awful person. You thought I cheated. And I did. But not intentionally. I would never do anything to hurt you like that. and clary.. you can't hide your emotions like I do. Just like you said it's bad for you."

"Well things have changed jace!" I raised my voice not being able to hold back my tears anymore. I felt them roll down my face.
It felt good.
But then again I felt so weak.

"Clary" jace said as he wrapped his hands around me wrapping me in a hug. I wanted to fight it and push him away. But instead I fell into his hug. My knees giving out from underneath me.
We just stayed like that for what felt like hours.
Then I heard the door open.
I didn't think much of it. At this point i didn't care who saw me cry.

"NO NO YOUR HURTING MOMMY" collette yelled as she started punching her little fists into jaces leather jacket

"No collette no! Don't worry collette jace is helping mommy." I said with a smile unattaching collette from Jace pulling her into a hug.
I looked down at her little face with my negative emotions now switched off.
I could do it quickly.
The only evidence that I was ever crying was my eyes were tinted a lighter red.

"Mommy fell and got hurt so jace was making me feel better." I turned to him with a smile.

"I would never do anything to hurt your mommy collette." Jace said in a now hushed voice. Looking down at collette lovingly.

"Good becawse I like u" she said as she ran over to jace hugging him with her little arms.

I smiled at the sight. She didn't deserve to not have a dad. That was my fault. All my fault.
I could fear tears in my eyes again. But I blinked them away.
Not happening emotions.
But I needed to make this right.

"Hey collette baby? Can I talk to you and jace on the bed please." I said with a smile

"Yah!! I can show u my stuwfies jace!" She said with a smile jumping into her open crib.

"After collette but right now I need to have a serious talk, can you focus for a couple minutes."
I asked. Collette nodded her head.

"So you know jace. Me and Jace know each other very well. And I want to tell you something." I said smiling.

"Clary..." Jace said trailing off. He knew what I was going to say. But he was sceptical. I could tell.

"You have never really asked about you dad. How come?" I asked collette. It was a big question for a two year old. But she was smart.

"Ummmmmm. You seemed really sad about him. You used to shut your door and cry. But you didn't know I was there. I wanted to help you but I didn't want to scare you. And auntie maddie said to give you something called time?" She said playing with a small doll she found.
I was taken aback by her answer.
So was jace. His face was pure shock.
I wanted him to think I was strong.
But this was going against my plan.

"Well baby. Jace right here is your father"
-