Irresistible - Pete Wentz Fanfic (Part 2)

Chapter 17

I slowed down so I could watch him when he spoke. He seemed unsure now, staring out the window. “What?” I asked, sensing that he was probably going to say something specific about our relationship now, nothing so general so it would be more hard for him. I didn’t ask another time, I waited for him to speak on his own.

He took a deep breath, then talked again. “Charlie, I don’t know what came over me at the end of our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make things right again, I’m just scared of what you think of me at this point. I don’t know what came over me or why I was the way I was, looking back now, I cringe at my own behavior and it’s just … I make no sense to myself anymore. I don’t know why I was so awful, I don’t know why I got so obsessive.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking about what I thought and I hoped he’d specify it but I knew it would take a lot of courage to name exactly what he meant. “I got so obsessive about getting married and I don’t know why. Simply being with you … it should’ve been enough for me. Not that I’m trying to get you back but I just don’t want you think that I’m insane.”

I smiled and put my hand on his that was resting on his thigh, wanting him to know that it was fine and that he didn’t need to be nervous but he was still struggling for words. “Do you know what I mean?” he asked desperately. I nodded. “Of course, I don’t think you’re insane, don’t worry about it. I know the feeling of not understanding yourself anymore when you look back to something you did, sometimes we don’t think and we act on pure impulse and that’s okay. I just wish you would’ve realised sooner.” He nodded and closed his eyes, his hand turning and wrapping around mine. “Me too” he said quietly and I looked away, not wanting his eyes to meet mine once he opened them again.

We were both aware that this topic in particular had been a sore spot for both of us and we hadn’t talked about it since I had moved out which is why we both needed our time to think about it. But at least we had discussed it and he probably felt a lot better now that he knew I didn’t think wrong of him and I was happy that he had realised that he had acted completely inappropriate. In my head, I was desperately looking for something to talk about that wasn’t obvious small talk but something simple so he’d know we were okay. As always, he found that task a little bit easier.

“You know what I’d like for a name?” he asked and looked at me, his smug grin that had used to turn me on was back. My lips curled into a smile and I licked my lips. “No, what?” I asked mockingly. “We should call him Gabriel.” I laughed. “No way, we are not naming the baby after Gabe. Not William either…” I added before he could say it out loud. He laughed. “You really do know me too well. What do you like then?” I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought. “I’m not sure actually, I haven’t really thought about it. What are you thinking for a girl?” “Joan? Or Cherie?” I raised my eyebrows. “I really don’t think so, Pete” I said. He shook his head, pretending to be offended. “Are you sure? Those were very interesting women…” “You having a weird crush on Joan Jett does not make me want to name my child after her.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on.” “How about Audrey maybe? Or Marilyn?” He shook his head again, laughing too now. “Really, no.” “Careful with the arguing, we’re not a couple anymore, we should agree on more things now.” He grinned. “Guess not.”

It was slowly getting dark and I felt myself getting tired but it was still fine to drive and I wanted to make as much as possible because no matter how long Pete tried to sleep, he always gave up after a few minutes because he was either uncomfortable or the street was too bumpy and kept waking him up. He yawned and stretched, then looked at me from the side again. “How about a nice game of truth or dare?” he asked. I raised my eyebrows doubtingly. “Really, Wentz?” He smirked and nodded eagerly, like a little kid. “Of course, your turn. Truth or dare?” “Is this an inappropriate version?” He shrugged. “Everything’s allowed.” I sighed. “Dare.” “I dare you to flash a car the next time we stop.” I glared at him. “Inappropriate it is.” He laughed. “Fine.” “Right, right, I’ll do that, I can just see myself collecting these during the drive because dares are kind of limited in here. But anyway, what about you? Truth or dare?” “Truth, please.” I thought for a second, suddenly realising the chance I had been given to ask some questions whose answers I really needed. But also it made me wonder if maybe he was planning the same thing. “Are you hoping to find out anything in particular?” I asked. “No, I’m just bored, Miller and we know eachother really well already so I thought it might losen us up a bit. We should make it this road trip’s goal to get rid of anything that’s left unsaid and that could be in the way of us being friends. After this, we shouldn’t have any awkwardness anymore.” I nodded in agreement. “Right. So … do you genuinely not see the baby as a burden?”

He gasped and it took a few seconds for him to reply. “Charlie, are you kidding? Of course it’s not a burden, I’m really looking forward to it, believe me.” I smiled. “Good, me too, I just wanted to make sure” I babbled, waving off how nervous I was. “Truth too, please.” “Do you mind that it’s my kid? Would you have been happier with it being somebody else’s?” “Honestly, I could not wish for a better father” I said and he knew just as well as me did that I would not explain such a confession any further so he nodded shortly, not showing any emotion either. “Dare.” I smirked. “You flash the people with me.” I saw his eyes widen and giggled. “Deal?” He laughed. “Deal. Can I ask something personal?” I sucked in some air because I didn’t know what was coming. “I thought we’re already past that.” He smiled nervously. “Well, I was just wondering if you’ve had anybody else? Like, I didn’t ask when you told me you were pregnant because you were so sure and I trust you but I’m still wondering.” I inhaled sharply. “Well, I haven’t had anybody else” I said but I felt the opportunity of telling him about William coming up. But we had just started bonding again, would I ruin all of that with just a simple sentence? But for some reason I was still feeling guilty and I knew it was selfish to tell him just to ease my own conscience and yet, I felt like he also deserved to know, no matter what I had said to William. Also, I didn’t know if I should’ve asked William’s permission first but on the other hand, he had been the one wanting to tell Pete right after.

“I’ve actually got some more truth, something bad” I said, forcing myself to say the words so there would be no going back once I had announced that something was coming. I felt him watch me and I slowed down again, afraid of the consequences. “I just … okay, I just hope you won’t be mad.” “I’m not gonna be mad” he said but I could already feel that he was tensing because he wanted to know and he was scared of what was coming, just like I was of his reaction. “The other night, when I stayed over at your place … when William was there too and I couldn’t sleep right away. You know we watched some TV together and…” “What?” he asked but his voice was already louder and deeper and I tried to ignore that it was kind of turning me on. I really had to stop and the hormones really had to piss the fuck off. I wasn’t like this.

“William kissed me. Okay, no, that’s not right, we kissed. Just for a few seconds, not a big deal and he wanted to tell you but I didn’t because … I didn’t want you to think anything wrong about me, not about him either. You know that’s not what I’m like but I was high on wanting to be independent and not depending on you and I felt pretty and also I thought was falling for you again and I mean, ignore that, it’s not important, no offense and William took care of me and I’m so sorry but I don’t actually want to apologize, I just wanted you to know, I feel guilty for some reason and I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s unfair to tell you just to relieve my conscience but I…” I stopped myself rambling and took the next turn because I was far too upset and getting too tired to drive so I drove off the highway. Pete was quiet, I knew I had shocked him but I wanted him to say something, anything would’ve done.

“Say something” I begged, feeling myself being reduced the ex-girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend only again. “I don’t believe it” he said, his face expressionless and I knew that he had heard it all and he was taking it all seriously, no matter what I had taken back. He seemed stunned, not angry but I knew that it was boiling up inside him. I didn’t want him to scream at me so I decided that I wasn’t going to make him say any more, changing the subject instead. “I can’t drive anymore, do you wanna have a go again?” He shook his head. “No, I think we should drive the few miles to Denver and stay there for the night, what do you think?” I nodded, knowing only too well that the talk about William wasn’t over.