Irresistible - Pete Wentz Fanfic (Part 2)

Chapter 45

"I win! You lose!" Bronx shouted and stuck his tongue out at me, jumping off the couch and doing a little victory dance. I laughed and threw my cards down on the table. "I just can't beat you" I said and pouted, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back into the armchair I was sitting on. "Did he beat you again?" Pete asked, coming out of the kitchen and putting a glass of ice-tea down in front of me. "Thanks" I said and grabbed his collar before he could move back up, pressing my lips on his for a second. "Ew!" Bronx complained. Pete and I both laughed and he sat back down on the sofa with his laptop on his thighs, typing away. He was writing something new and whatever it was, he wouldn't let me see it because he said it was just early drafts.

"Another round!" Bronx announced. I rolled my eyes. "Oh, no, come on, we know you're better at this than I am. Let's do something else." He raised his eyebrows curiously. "Like what?" he asked as if everything else was boring. Pete looked up from the laptop. "Hey, buddy, can I ask you a question?" he asked. Bronx nodded, waiting for Pete to speak. "Do you like Evan or Charlie better?" "Pete!" I scolded him. He just smirked. "Just wait for it, I'm really curious." I was too so I stared at Bronx as well. He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Charlie, for sure!" A smile spread on my face. "I like you the best too, buddy." He rolled his eyes and grinned because he knew I couldn't compare him to anybody. "I'm really excited about the baby, what's it gonna be like?" he asked. I smiled. "I don't know yet, it's too early to say." "How long until it comes out?" "Still a few months from now" Pete replied. Bronx nodded understandingly. "Is mom picking me up or are you driving me?" "I'm driving you, why?" "Because I like driving with you. I want to hear the new Cobra Starship song you told me about." "Luckily I have that in the car" Pete said. "Charlie, are you coming too?" I shook my head. "No, I have work to do, sorry." Bronx looked disappointed but then shrugged. "Okay."

When Pete came back from Ashlee's place, I was sat at the kitchen table, typing away on my laptop with a glass of coke and a bowl of popcorn next to me. "How's the work coming along?" Pete asked, putting down his car keys and sliding out of his shoes and jacket. "It's good, I'm almost done" I said, smiling at him when he entered the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. "This is the last article they'll have to put in, it's very last minute but really important. The next issue's going out ... in two days" I explained as he sat down opposite me. I nodded. "I'm so proud of you." I smiled. "It's all you. Although I'm hoping that with Erik on board and a few more advertisers, we won't need your sponsoring anymore, except for maybe you paying for some ads as well and we can be an independent production, just something that you publish." His face dropped and I didn't understand because I was so excited. "What?" I asked carefully. "You know I don't want to depend on you, I'm already living here for free." "Yeah but you're making your own money." "That I am only earning because of you." He sighed. "You know that I don't want to sound cocky or arrogant but letting you live here is no problem for me financially, is it? For you, it'd be hard to pay for a place by yourself and I love you and we're expecting a baby so why is this a problem? Why can you still not accept my help?" I sighed too, putting the laptop away after having sent the e-mail with the article to New York. I got up and sat next to him. "I can accept your help to some extent. Letting me live here, it's already too much but the job? I need that for myself. And that doesn't mean that I don't love you because I do, I love you so much and I want to stay with you forever but please, put yourself in my position for once and see that I want to be at least a little bit independent and pay you back. Come on." He took a deep breath. "I think if you loved me, you should let me do all those things for you because you know it makes me happy and you know me well enough to know that I don't mind paying for things for you and you don't have to give me anything back." I raised my eyebrows, unable to believe it.

"I think if you loved me, you'd understand how important it is for me to not depend on somebody." He looked at me and leaned forward, trying to kiss me but I moved backwards and got off the stool. "You can't always end an argument with that" I said. He sighed. "Just because I don't take money from you, I don't want you to think that I don't love you." I sighed too. "I know you love me which is why I want you to understand me too. I only said that because that's what you said. And you can love someone and be independent at the same time and I'm doing that with little steps but you have to let me." He swallowed hard. "Hearing you say things like that ... it always scares me." I walked back over to him. "Scares you? How?" "I'm scared that one day you'll just leave because you feel like you're too dependent on me. But I need you and I'm afraid that you're gonna leave me, randomly because it feels like ... sometimes it feels like you're not as emotionally attached to me as I am to you. It feels like you love me now but that could change any second. I cannot imagine my life without you but I feel like you can imagine your life without me."

I stared at him, unable to believe that he was still considering our relationship could end. How was this supposed to work out? "How dare you?" I asked. He looked confused. I moved closer to him. "How dare you? Is that still how you think about me? Still how you feel? Do you believe all the shit they're posting online? That I'm just using you and that I feel like I have to be with you because you're supporting me? And that I don't actually love you?" I asked, my voice rising higher and tears forming in my eyes. He started stuttering but no words came out and I cut him off. "Do you think I'm not serious about this? What do you think I'm after if not you? Your money? Your house? Fame?" "No, Charlie, that's not what I think!" "What do I have to do to make you believe that I love you too?" I cried, tears now running down my cheeks. He got off the stool too and tried to hug me but I pulled away. "Fuck no" I cried and took a step back. "I just don't believe it, you know I have a hard time expressing my feelings, you know I'm bad with admitting things but moments like these, those are the ones you need to focus on when you doubt me. Just because I don't have an easy time committing to something doesn't mean that I'll just change my mind. I said I want to be with you and I do. And that's not gonna change if we both make an effort to get this relationship to work." I was saying nice things but it sounded like I was accusing him of things. "You know how good we are together and I hope you know that I'm always there for you. But I have to ask you this: are you sure that you're not just doubting me because you yourself have your doubts?"

He stared at me with big eyes. "No, Charlie, definitely not. If you still think that you're not enough then please believe me that you are. You don't need to think that you can't comfort me or that you're no match for me because you are, fuck, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, in every way. And I want to be with you and I want the baby and just ... I just want to be happy with you and I think that if that's how you feel too, things like money and fame don't matter. I sometimes just feel like I'm giving more than you are." I was still crying. "It's just how I am, it's the way I am. But that doesn't mean that I love you any less than you love me. Me with you right now, that's as strong as it gets and that's the strongest of showing my feelings I can do. It wouldn't be more with anybody else than you."

He gulped. "Are you sure?" I nodded eagerly. How did he still doubt that I was in on this just as much as him? How did he still believe that we weren't so close by now that not having him in my life would fuck me up too? The longer and the deeper a relationship got, the harder it was to be without the other person, it could be so strong that other people who aren't part of it don't understand it. Pete could be a real dick but I also loved him and I didn't want him to doubt that one bit. I wanted him to know just how much I loved him and I wanted him to know that I was ready to commit too and I wanted him to feel that I loved him. I loved him so much, more than I thought I could ever love somebody and it overwhelmed me, how much he loved me and how much I loved him that I didn't want him to doubt it, I wanted him to know. If I loved him so much, he had to know too and I wanted to show him. I would've done anything for him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Nobody was more important to me than him and with him everything just felt ... right.

He looked like he was going to say something again, defending himself or doubting me but I was done with that. He couldn't believe that I loved him too and that we were a perfect match. I took a deep breath and he looked at me, knowing I'd say something. But instead, I took a step towards him and kissed him, slowly and passionately, wanting to show him that I loved him, him as a person, with all his flaws and all his wonderful traits and all his stupid habits and all his imperfections, all his wonderful thoughts and creative ideas, everything.

I took a step away from him and I knew what to do. I knew what the only right thing to do was. I licked my lips and inhaled deeply. "Pete?" I asked and he looked at me, looking slightly confused. "Yeah?" My lips curled into a smile and took me a lot to speak now, I had wiped my tears away but my eyes were still not focused. But I had never been so sure, my mind had never been so clear before. My heart and my mind knew what to do, I just needed to push it, it had to get past my lips.

I bit my lip, then looked up at him before I spoke. "Will you marry me?"